adventures on planet terra

...onto the next task of the day.

2009-06-17T08:05:00.003-05:00

I still haven't taken pictures of our new house and all it's box glory. Sorry.
Just wanted to get that out of the way so I could move on rather guilt free....
It's a busy show month for us. Last weekend we were in Pittsburgh at the 'Three Rivers Arts Festival". We were slam dunk busy and it was a good time. The Wailers played on Sunday evening and it was a nice way to end the show.
So, I'm home for 2 days and running around like a mad woman. Today we (Michael, Xan, and I) are being filmed by a new film maker that is making a documentary about LowerTown (the arts district that we live in). And that means this morning is shopping morning. Petsmart, Office Depot (or Max, whatever it is) and Sam's Club are all on my hit parade.
Did you fell that? The wind?
That was me racing past onto the next task of the day.

Enjoy Mary's writing.....

2009-06-09T09:14:00.005-05:00

I want to share a blog with you that my friend Mary writes. Jane she reminds me of you in the way that she is so lyrical and deep and expressive.
I have been so excited about the responses to my post about manifestation, the law-of-attraction, and Abraham.
I think that Mary's post titled, 'where spirit meets matter', should be required reading in every household and public forum across the world. Yeah, I do Mary!! She has put into words what I have always known to be true. And by the by...I don't know how to link to a specific post so you get the added bonus of listening to her most current one titled, 'peace', and then the one I want you to read is next.
So please forgive me Mary for not asking your permission first. I kinda figured that if we're writing here on the internet it's for everyone.
I have been thinking about it and I have decided to create a whole line of posts on deliberately creating and asking some of my friends to do some guest posts.
Enjoy Mary's writing.....

It's my lame excuse and I'm sticking to it!

2009-06-08T07:54:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling scattered. I put that comment up on my facebook page and put out the offer that anyone could come over and help me find my bits. I got a funny array of responses.
And I still feel scattered. I dislike it when I have a feeling and I can't trace it's roots. Why am I feeling this way? It beats the bananas out of me!!!! And what I dislike most is that when I get to feeling this particular way I don't seem to get much accomplished. I can't even figure out where to start.
It's like standing in some sort of void that is filled with fog and I just walk around and around with my arms outstretched trying to find something. Anything! I find nothing. Nothing to touch, grasp, anchor my direction too. Nothing.
Jane be proud....I then make lists. Lists help. They really do. Yesterday I made a list and spent most of the day sorting our mail (man, a couple weeks of non-attention really makes a pile), bringing all our show files up to date (some of them I just want to ignore because 1 show wants you to bring proof that your tent is fire retardant, another says you can't use an E-Z-UP tent which we have, another one we have to check in at 10:45 at night and unload our booth in the dark) and figuring out the logistics for the next three shows coming up. This took me most of the day. I know, I know you are all thinking that I know how to have fun, fun, fun.
I even washed the 'new to us' 3 welled sink in the early evening. Xan and I were out there scrubbing off grease with a vengeance.
I emailed our friend Will and gave him all the different scenarios that could be applied to his daughter (Xan's best friend) coming to visit us in a few weeks. YAY!
And with each task I got to make a deliberate scratch on my list.
This done.
That done.
And I still feel scattered.
Maybe it's the boxes that are being left unopened. Or the make-shift shower still being make-shift. Or the table loom that I bought on ebay that is still sitting nicely packed in the box that it arrived in.
Or maybe it's Mars. Yeah let's blame it on some planetary alignment.
The planets are out of whack and therefore I can't get seem to grasp the feeling that I've got my shit together.
It's my lame excuse and I'm sticking to it!

...feel better?

2009-06-05T09:06:00.002-05:00

This is something that I wrote as a comment on a friend's blog. I want to share it with everyone because I have been meaning to write about my views on manifestation and the law-of-attraction for a while now. I was thinking that maybe we could get a group of people to play......

Ok...the game background, where I'm coming from and other ramblings by Victoria Terra:
For many years I have been interested in manifestation, law of attraction stuff, and deliberate creation. I follow and practice the teachings of a group of entities that call themselves Abraham and they channel through a woman named Esther Hicks.
As an aside....before we moved here I found out about a group of individuals that meet at the local library once a week and study Abraham. Michael, my husband, and I meet with them once a week. We read and talk about stuff and try to put what we are learning into daily practice. Anywho....
I believe that we are the creators of our realities and that creation is manifested through our thoughts. What we think is what is reflected back into our lives (law of attraction). What I love about Abraham is that they talk about spirit and our connection to that part of ourselves. I believe that I am spirit having a journey in a human body.
Now, the physical guide (the part of ourselves that is our compass) is our emotions. When we are connected to spirit (or source energy) we feel positive emotions (like happiness, enthusiasm, joy) and when we are not connected we feel less positive emotions (like frustration, fear, anger). When one is working on attracting and manifesting they have their guidance system of emotions to let them know how they are doing.
Now...you ask for something (ask the universe, god, goddess, whatever it is that you believe in). I call it 'Manager'. So I tell my Manager that I want a new car. Let's say I want a Toyota Hybrid Prius and that is what I ask my Manager for. Now after I ask it is my job to allow myself to have it. It is my task to align my vibration with the vibration of allowing myself to have that car. Tricky.
This is where our emotional compass comes into play. Positive emotions align and connect us to our source energy and the creating of our wants. Not so positive emotions create a block and we then cannot align or connect to our source energy and therefore can't create what we are wanting.
Now...there is a game that Abraham suggests we play where we write down the things that are frustrating us, things that are making us unhappy and we re-write them in a way that makes us feel better. That raises our vibration.
In a nutshell:
If you take the statements of dis-satisfaction and you re-write them in a way that makes you feel better (gives you hope for instance) then you will feel better and by feeling better you raise your vibration (energy) to be more of a match to your source energy and then you can attain what you are wanting.
It's all there for the taking really. We can have whatever it is that we want. It's just that we keep getting in our own way. Hah!
So, what do you think. Want to post some statements that we (your friends) can help you turn around into more positive things and make you feel better?

Silly me.

2009-05-31T07:26:00.002-05:00

I have an amazing daughter. Well, two actually but this time I want to brag on the oldest, Artie.
I was feeling lonely here in my new neighborhood, in my new house. Feeling left out and rather sorry for myself. It's nothing new really. I have felt this way before, probably will again. And I have felt this way every time that we have moved.
I think that I'm over friendly by a couple of degrees. I am a bit 'too much' for people. Too open. Too friendly. Too intimate. As a result, I sit around waiting for new friends to catch up with what I already know....that I am sincere in my love for them.
So, I was feeling lonely and left out. I was thinking about how I'd been here before (who hasn't, right?) and I would just ride it out like I have in the past. I was giving it a lot of thought (because being lonely really isn't pleasant especially the part where you think people aren't warming up to you). You know how there can be one or two people in a group that aren't particularly taken with you and that colors your whole perspective? I hate it when that happens and I tend to fall into that trap.
It occurred to me that Artie had talked about this a while back. She was sharing with me her feelings of loneliness and trying to create ways to get yourself 'unstuck' out of self-pitying behavior. Artie is a great 'intention' creator. She will grab onto an intention and fly with it. She will decide that she is going to open and friendly and make friends. And damn she will. She will decide that she going to think good thoughts all day. And damn she will. She is terrific at deliberately creating. She sets a mean example, my kid.
I was thinking about her and how I have seen in action the power of turning a situation around. So I thought that I should put a post up on my facebook page and on the neighborhood email list that I was going to the movies that night and whoever wants to come over beforehand for wine, cheese, and salad should come on by and then we could all go to the movies together.
I got to fill my table with a group of lovely folk. I got to fill my heart with warmth. I got to see a good movie with a gaggle of fellow movie buffs. I got to remind myself that I am cherished and well liked in the eyes of my neighbors. Believe me, the feeling is mutual.
Loneliness. Feelings of not being liked. Oh, I'm sure that I'll feel those emotions again. Who won't, right?
Hear this my dear friends...when these not good for anything much feelings seep into your being put yourself out there and invite someone over. Do the opposite of what that self-destructive thought pattern in your head is telling you to do. Throw away the pillow so you can't hide under it. For every person that is not attracted to you there a 10 who love and adore you.
I forgot that for a minute.
Silly me.

...I feel complete.

2009-05-28T08:25:00.006-05:00

These are pictures of our mailbox and our dome on Lopez Island.
I just got off the phone with a guy that is leasing our meadow from us out on Lopez. It made me homesick to talk about plum trees, the heirloom apples, and the old well. We talked about the history of our property. How Michael and I sat down with one of the island old timers and heard his stories of how he and his father cut down all the apple trees on our land (it was an apple orchard) and how they pulled up all the roots with a team of horses.
We talked about how our leasee's daughter has named all the sheep that he has running on the land at the moment. We talked about what you do with wild roses and canary grass. How to get rid of them is what we really talked about. Burn em? Disc the field?
Do I look like I know such things?
It was a joy to hear that the heirloom plum trees that stand over by the place that was the original farm house are now producing some fruit. They were prolific for the first three years we owned the property and then they got some sort of fungus and we never did figure out what to do about it. I'm glad that our decision to let nature run it's course worked out OK in the long run.
Lopez.
The whole time that we lived in Saratoga Springs I told people that I was from Lopez. Since living in Paducah, I have told people that I from Paducah. I guess I must like it here so far. I do. I like our house (I will post pictures soon). I like our neighborhood. I like being able to walk to the river and to downtown. I like the activities that I am getting involved in. Last night I started my new volunteer job of co-chairing the committee that is screening films for a local film festival here called The Rivers Edge Film Festival. It was great!!! What a hardship to have to sit around and critique films. Oh, it was so hard (ha, ha). I am also involved with a group of women called, COW. Yeah, I'm a COW. It stands for Community Of Women and all they do is fund-raise and do good deeds. How lucky can I be?
I miss my dear sweet dome on Lopez. Michael designed and built her. She has driftwood posts on the inside that hold up the loft. The railing on the stairs is also driftwood. How could we leave? How could we go back and still make money? Ah, the decisions that that thing called 'destiny' is made of.
So, here I sit on my couch in my 'new to me' 4000 sq ft. house that is a grand 130-ish years old and I'm thinking that my destiny has been pretty good so far. Will we ever live full time back on Lopez? I don't know but I do know that our meadow is being well cared for, that our friend Jeffery (who lives on our land) is well and resurrecting the garden, and our dome can be seen by all who drive by as a reminder that 'those hippies' still have a place in the world.
In this moment....I feel complete.

I do love you all.

2009-05-26T08:12:00.003-05:00

I have been writing posts in me head. I dream about them in my sleep. I now sit here in front of the computer and I'm blank. I feel like a newly washed black chalkboard at the front of the class.
Not that I'm empty or anything. Hopefully far from it. Just that I had so many great ideas and now I can't remember a lick of 'em.
We moved into our house. About a month ago. The house that we were renting next door sold and we moved in here. It was time in so many ways but....now we are camping with a make-shift shower set up and boxes. Oh, my life is full of boxes! How many of you can relate? I'm waiting on Michael to create the shelving so I can do some more unpacking. But, you know, I lived in a travel trailer for 3 years while we built our dome on Lopez and this is a walk in the park. Seriously.
Xan is off on an Alaskan Cruise with her grandmother having a ball. Artie is still at make-up special effects school and having a ball. I (flying solo without Xan) did a soft opening of The Kookie Bar this weekend and had a ball. And Michael had his studio up and running this weekend and had a ball. We're just a bouncy family.
I have missed my blogger community. I think of you often and I'm ready to be a more faithful friend and poster.
I don't know what my absence was about. Don't feel like I need to know either.
I bought a (what I think and hope) is a very cool little table loom on ebay last week. I have been itching to weave and even though I'm not a table loom lover it is an affordable way to get me started and keep me creative. It's been a bit of a disappointment here because I have not met any other active weavers. I miss my group in Saratoga. You see...there is something about Saratoga that I miss. That's about it so far.
We are getting closer to a court date about the whole estate deal. Yeah, we are still dealing with that. How many years has it been?! The executrix finally, FINALLY, submitted the final accounting and last week we (our lawyer) turned in our objections to it. Now we wait....
Just a couple of days ago I booked four roundtrip tickets to Dublin, Ireland. No kidding. We are taking this trip in honor of my in-laws who always talked about going and never did. They even had a large jug that they saved money into (of course that too never saw it's way into the estate). So we found a great deal. We bought the tickets and we're going to figure out the car rental and where we're going to stay later. We go in February by the way. Thus the cheap airfare.
Many have been bugging me about getting some pics of the new home up on the air waves. It's on my radar and will probably happen soon.
You should check out Michael's blog "www.paducahpossible.blogspot.com" and see the wedding cake that we made for a dear, dear friend a couple of months ago. We felt just like "Ace of Cakes" transporting our baby in our van through Brooklyn. It was a funny adventure.
So that's it folks. I think that I will end (for now) my random babbling to catch you all up on what's been going on around here.
I do love you all!!!!

I have a houseful.

2009-01-04T08:36:00.002-05:00

I have a house full of cats. Seriously. We have Ethel who traveled here with us. Then in the beginning of December we went to Petsmart and adopted Cadbury for Xan. Artie took in a stray at college and so cleverly convinced me that Daisy was just the sweetest, sweetest little thing. Artie brought home Daisy the sweetest cat sill in survivor, sorta feral, mode that any sweet cat could be in.
We now have three cats in a small two bedroom house.
It's working out OK.
Cadbury who truly is the sweetest cat ever is a bit terrorized. Ethel has thrown her paws up in the air and is looking at us with an expression of, "Why? Why? Why did you do this?" And Daisy will let you touch her (maybe) for a second or two before your fingers are potential hamburger meat.
In honor of our kitty circus here at Terra Cottage I am sharing a funny youtube video (and because I now know how to post videos and I'm going to be obnoxious about it).
First is this one:
I'm just waiting for the day that our cats achieve such harmony.
Now here is the translation:
I have a houseful.

Hee, hee, hee.

2009-01-01T00:29:00.002-05:00

OK I have figured out how to get some youtube videos onto my blog!!!
Oh happy day for us all.
And now you can all start the New Year off with some laughter.
May the incoming year bring us all some humor and hope.

Hee, hee, hee.

Happy Merry Y'all!!!

2008-12-25T15:02:00.002-05:00

Happy Merry Y'all!!!

It's good to be home.

2008-12-22T07:38:00.003-05:00

I have arrived home. It was good to get off at the Paducah exit and think about home. I'm calling it home.
It's starting to feel like home.
Home.
Home is good.
I flew back East last week to pick up my Mom. We were all feeling uneasy about her driving to Paducah (from MA) by herself and the minute she mentioned that she wanted to pick up Artie at college that was it. The day that I heard that bit of news I got online and booked myself a flight to Providence, RI. I called her and much to her annoyance I flew back to accompany her on her trip.
It took us four days mostly of which were just fine. There was that one day of rain that I could of have done without. At times we couldn't even see the end of the front of the car. I would be driving along and suddenly there were be nothing. NOTHING. I just kept thinking to myself that it couldn't last forever and not to try to hard to think about the tractor trailer in front of me or the one behind me. I think that I lost a few brain cells from the lack of breathing that I did.
But we made it! Mom, her dog, Artie, her cat, and I. It's good to be off the road. Artie is full of funny college stories just like any typical college student. Only her stories involve blood and gunk. She insisted on bringing home two sculptures. One that she is working on for a final project and one that is a gift for Michael. My Mom, her dog, Artie, her cat, me, a trunk overloaded, and two sculptures.
I know, I know....my life is a traveling circus. I felt like the clown car hurling down the by-ways to the carnival.
It's good to be home.

...word of the day for the last few weeks.

2008-12-11T08:59:00.006-05:00

Changes.
Really big changes.
Well, maybe not that big.
As I was driving out of the parking lot of (dare I say it?) Sam's Club. I was struck with the battle I have been having with myself. I am being faced with the art of 'acceptance'.
For example, there are many grocery stores here. None of them are particularly "wow" in what they have to offer. I want my Cabot cheese and my Sabra hummus and my Brookshire Farms turkey sausage. I can get the Cabot cheese and the Sabra hummus at ( I'm gonna say it) Sam's Club The Brookshire Farms turkey sausage is beyond my grasp.
I have shopped more at Walmart here than I have in my whole life. It's the only game in town. We need a dust pan, and waste basket, and coffee maker and pyrex pans. Where are we gonna go? I went online and looked for a Target. I like Target. I feel better when I choose the lesser evil of Target. The closest Target is over an hour away. Not worth it for a dust pan.
We get a magazine called 'Fast Company'. For me it is wildly interesting and I always pick up some nugget of information that feeds my head. Well, last year we were vacationing in Mexico and we had brought along the recent copy. An article in there stuck with me. It was about this guy (name long forgotten) who is a major activist and into environmental rights. If I remember correctly he went from GreenPeace ? to consulting for Walmart (the Walmart part I know is correct). He was getting all sorts of major flack from his peers. His thinking was that Walmart is huge! in America and why not work for one of the giants and teach them about being more environmentally conscious. Seriously, this guy is on a mission from a higher source.
I like to think that he is still helping Walmart. I like to think that by buying my 'need to have's' at Sam's Club and Walmart that somehow I am helping to support him support the greater good.
Or am I just pissing in the wind and there's a tangy taste of urine in my mouth?
As an Abraham follower (and someday I will share with you all about Abraham), I believe that we create our own reality. I have held the belief of the evils of Walmart and have never liked to shop there. And here I am giving over my hard earned money for some Vermont cheese that I just gotta have.
OK Abraham, I am going to change my reality. I am focusing on all the good that Walmart can accomplish. They are a powerful presence in our country and for the moment I am going to give it/them all the appreciation I can muster and hopefully I'll learn a thing or two along the way.
Acceptance...it's been my word of the day for the last few weeks.

Much love, The Terra Family

2008-12-05T09:10:00.002-05:00

This is a letter that I wrote to some extended family members that are getting married. We were invited to their shower but it's too far away to make it. Instead we found them an old cake plate and made them cookies. We mailed out the package yesterday....
December 4, 2008

Dearests,

There come many times in our life that we truly wish to send the perfect gift. Sometimes this gift is happened upon by the gift giver and when laying eyes upon that certain something they know in their heart that the gift receiver will just love it. They may not be personally drawn to that gift but they just know how perfect it will be for the receiver. Sometimes the gift giver happens upon something that they themselves just love and with a full heart they want to share their love for that gift with the receiver. The receiver may not have otherwise had the opportunity to have been exposed to such a thing.
With that in mind we have happened upon something that we just loved and it took us many trips back to the antique mall and much fondling of this gift before we purchased it for you. We had many heartfelt conversations about how much we wondered if you would like it or be as charmed by it as we are. We gave into our attraction for it and purchased it for you thinking that if you are not drawn to it as we are than we are hoping that everytime you look at it our use it you shall think of us and how this item represents ‘the feel of us’.
We are reminded of the good ole diner days with folks being friendly at the counter sharing stories over pie. We are reminded of good ole hometown hospitality where you can go and knock on your neighbor’s door and ask to borrow a cup of sugar but what you truly want is to visit with a friend for a moment. We love old milk glass and the imprint of the gold is so very ‘Donna Reed’.
We just had to share it and all it makes us think about with you. For you are our family and we love you. We are so thankful to able to cheer along from the sidelines; to pop in every so often and witness the love growing between you both.
So set up your knew cake plate and heap it up with cookies. Grab a glass of milk and sit with each other and share a friendly story about your day. Be reminded of family, friends, and neighbors and be warmed by the generations of cookies, cakes, pies and love that have brought you together in this moment.

You are cherished!

We hope that your Shower party was spectacular. We are sorry to have missed it but we were there in spirit.

Much love,

The Terra Family

...while working away in the window.

2008-11-20T09:06:00.006-05:00

Here it is clay fans Michael's first load of art that he is firing in his kiln. It's up. It's running. And he looks like a happy camper. (Personally I think that he is the own inspiration for his artwork.)We are off to Cincinnati, OH tomorrow for an art show. It feels good. As funny as it may sound there is a comfort in knowing that we are getting ready to go on the road. It's what we do. It's the rhythm of Terra. It feels routine and normal.
This past weekend we set up at the neighborhood coffee bar, Etcetera. It was fun to experience the rhythm of the coffee clutch crowd and we got to meet many new friends. This is a picture of the lovely Johanna. She owns the place with her husband, Allen.They are Paducians who decided to invest in Lowertown and what a grand place they have created. Their daughter, Jean, helped them design the bar. Jean was working and I got to hang out with her. She has a bunch of tattoos and when I was looking at a ring of vegetables going around her arm she explained to me that they were all the vegetables that she thought were good to put in a salad. I'm thinkin' that there is a lot to love about this young woman!!! She even has a tat of a clementine behind her ear. What is not to admire about that?!
It was a heart filled day. With new people to meet, Johanna made us dinner, Allen made us laugh, and Michael got to drink all the coffee that he could possibly hold while working away in the window.

I also have a beautiful neighbor.

2008-11-12T08:13:00.003-05:00

Our new rental house is very cozy. It has two bedrooms, a bathroom, an open living room & dining room plan, and an open kitchen. Off the kitchen you can find the back door and washer & dryer. In the living room/dining room there are six windows.
SIX GLORIOUS WINDOWS.
A couple of weeks ago I met one of my neighbors who has this great koi pond (with the mother of all koi in there) and has a green thumb. While I was at her house visiting she casually told me that she had a bunch of plants that needed to separate and would I like some.
WOW.
I love house plants and had a cat that destroyed them and then we moved into an apartment (in our house in Saratoga) that didn't have great light or room for lots of plants and for years I have not had many plants in my home. Here I have my SIX GLORIOUS WINDOWS and a cat who won't pee in my plants. I can have plants again.
My neighbor calls me up and says that she has some plants for me on her back porch. She has to take off and go to work but I can just come over and pick them up. Sure! We have errands to do and we'll swing by and pick up some plants.
We stop by her house and what do we find on the back porch? We find an enormous rubber plant, a huge spider plant with babies abounding, a succulent, and a peace lily ready to bloom.
All for me.
I was expecting a few plants in some 4" pots and I got the mother load.
I have SIX GLORIOUS WINDOWS with plants and a cat.
I also have a beautiful neighbor.

...the next long conversation.

2008-11-10T08:49:00.003-05:00

STILL.
I have been feeling very still.
The air is still, my heart is still, life is still. I am caught in a moment between arrival and arriving.
I am in mourning for Godiva. Everyday I miss her fat waddle and goofy stare.
I think I have survived the speed bumps and am feeling some of my 'self' return. I just turned around to see Ethel doing round flips chasing her tail. Since Godiva has passed she has been sitting on our laps and purring (a thing that she has not done in the past). Loss followed by a bit of joyous wonder.
We moved.
We have totally lucked into renting a small house that is right next door to our house. Did I tell you that already? It is good to be in our own space. I had an altercation with our landlady and members of her family at our other place and it left me feeling so very misunderstood and frustrated and not welcomed. It was a crummy situation to end up in during my first week here. Dealing with my feelings of being misplaced, not really knowing anyone, loosing Godiva to her new adventures, and then having our landlady being very harsh with me has left me feeling still.
As a child I would sit in my closet and have long talks with ghosts. Usually while sneaking a smoke. Even in my most troubled moments I have known that I am not alone. As an adult I consult with my spirit on a regular basis. Without the smoke.
I have decided (during my long conversations with self and spirit) that it is good to be still and feel all these feelings. To step back and be self-involved and introspective. And even if it is good or not it is what I have been doing.
Today Xan and I shall start homeschooling. Last week we went to two homeschool events here in town and met some very nice people, I volunteered at the Krispy Kreme Donut Fundraiser for Xan's chorus, and on Halloween Xan and I dressed up and gave out cookies shaped liked witch's fingers to our neighbors.
I think that I am stepping out of the closet turning back to tell myself to hold that thought till the next long conversation.

I am here.

2008-10-12T10:33:00.002-05:00

I don't know where to start. So I shall start here.
I am here.
I made it.
Michael and Xan flew into Albany late on Thursday night and we spent the weekend packing up the 28 foot 'pup' (as it is called in the biz). We had friends and family there all weekend standing around why Michael's brain considered the complexities of how to fit three 20 foot storage units into this 'pup' and then we all went into action as he directed and pointed about at things and we brought them up for loading. HE DID IT! That amazing man made it all fit and we brought some stuff from the house and made that fit as well. It was a glorious feeling to have to done on Sunday afternoon.
We had our going away party on Saturday evening. Many of our family and friends came to celebrate our time in Saratoga with us. I had a friend make a gluten-free chocolate cake and we bought those disposable cake decorator tubes filled with icing and had everyone sign the cake. We ate the cake in celebration of knowing each other and having all of us together. It was a fun evening. Some relatives on my side of the family had some pre-grumblings about it being a vegetarian potluck but they got over it because there was such a delicious spread!
We packed up the remainder of items from our house and garage, got the cats settled in the van, and we drove off Thursday morning September 25th. We laughed ourselves silly thinking about the 10 hour drive we had ahead of us and how it was the most relaxing thing we had done in weeks. The cats complained for their usual 45 minutes and then settled in. We arrived late at night without incident in New Stanton, PA.
Now it was time to drop off Artie at The Douglas Education Center. We nestled the kitties into our hotel room and made the short drive to Monessen to check Artie into her new house. She was arriving early because of our move and the housing people were making an exception. We arrive get the keys, sign the lease, drive up the ridiculously steep hill to her house, and start the unloading of her stuff. Jeeze, she had a lot of stuff! This kid was set with enough food and kitchen supplies to open her own her cafe. A few boys came out of the woodwork to help and meet the new girl. Her new house is nothing exceptional and her new room is bigger than if she was in a dorm so it's a good trade-off. Michael and I spent the afternoon at Lowe's getting her some muchly needed shelving and went over to the dreaded Walmart and picked her up some hangers and some more pots (I swear she needed them!). She opted to stay the night be herself in the house figuring that she would have to do it sometime and she wanted us to be in close vicinity for that emergency phone call. She was great! She spent three days sleeping all be herself alone in the house before the other kids arrived.
The next day we goofed off in Pittsburgh. We went to this place called the "Mattress Factory" it is a museum that is all art installations. It was very cool and real creative turn on. We then headed over to Trader Joes to do some stocking up for Artie and ourselves. Again we have chosen to live somewhere not near a Trader Joes.
On Sunday we said good-bye to Artie and drove off in rain toward West Virginia and Kentucky.
It was an uneventful drive through hilly West Virginia and into the flatness of mid-Kentucky. We laughed, we listened to a book on tape. We arrived on Monday afternoon.
Home. I am home.
There has been an adjustment period (I'm still in it). I surprised myself that I would feel such a sense of being dis-placed. Everyone is so nice. The air is soft. The sounds are gentle. I am feeling quite out of sorts.
The first few days I moped about. I think it was because I had so much focus and so much to focus on this summer and then I arrive and don't know what to do with myself. The house is coming along nicely. Michael learned that not so much gets done in his absence. I love to walk through and imagine it all done. We are in the process of insulating, sheetrocking, and laying flooring. Our shed was completed one hour before we started unpacking the 'pup'. Michael got some lovely strong burly men to help with all the big furniture and the potter's wheels. Since I have been here we have purchased a fridge, a dishwasher, and a grill. We have acquired a totally groovy antique stove for my Mom's apartment.
This weekend is our first art show since May. I was so looking forward to it but alas I got sick. I am sick with a cold. I think I've working into this tragic cold since about July. It finally truly got me by the balls (so to speak) and I am it's grasp.
And...this past Friday night our beloved cat, Godiva, passed over into spirit. It was a very sad evening and I am beating myself up with not treating her warning signs with more timely concern. We ended up at the Vet's at around 12:30am and Godiva passed over not 10 minutes later. The vet, bless his heart, worked so compassionately and diligently to save her life but she was gone. I still can't believe it. Xan was there and witnessed her first close death. I was there holding Godivan and trying to keep her convulsing legs out of the way of the doctor. We are saddened and heart heavy this weekend. I am so fortunate the universe conspired to make me ill, to keep me home with Xan this weekend (who was going to stay home alone...can you imagine?). The vet seems to think that Godiva has kidney failure. There is a possibility that she got into something toxic. Yesterday Xan and I spent the whole afternoon in our bedroom (where we have been keeping our cats) watching movies and checking Ethel every 10 seconds to see how she is doing. She is doing just fine, by the way.
I am reminded of being a young child and heading off to the vets with a sick pet and having my parent go in there and not coming out with our beloved pet. Now here I am the parent with a child of my own who witnessed the sometimes unpleasantness of passing. I am the parent who comforted my child while saying goodbye to our beloved pet. I am the parent who reassured her that it was Godiva's time and there was nothing we could do. I am the parent who took off Godiva's name tag and told the vet that we need her cremated so that we can plant her in the garden. Xanny lost it in the clinic, I lost it when we got home. Xan stood in the kitchen at 2am saying, "Hey Mom, we switched. Now you are crying."
And I, the parent said, "Well, someone had to drive us home."
I am here.

Happy dance.

2008-09-12T07:24:00.004-05:00

This is what I saw as I looked out my window this morning...And this is what I saw as I was outside moving the van...
This is my house.The 'for sale' signs went up yesterday.
My house is 'FOR SALE' and I'm moving in two weeks.
Two weeks.
Two weeks.
Happy dance!

Good Morning.

2008-08-28T08:23:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up at 4:30 when Artie's alarm went off for work. Felt very scratchy and congested so I took some aspirin and Defense Plus and went back to sleep.
Next thing I know is that the phone is ringing so I get up to answer it. "Funny," I think. "It's still dark outside."
It was 5:30 and whoever was supposed to open with Art had not showed up so she had me pawing through her files trying to find a phone number of someone that she would deem useful in this situation. None of the numbers that she had were for anyone of enough authority so I hung up and went back to bed.
The phone rings again. She had decided that the minnow that was of no importance just minutes ago is now a shark and must be called. (Really, I had just climbed back into bed!)
I am so good!
I got her the number and just as I'm reading it to her for the 3rd time (I don't know where she put the earpiece to the phone but it wasn't by her ear while she was trying to write down the number.) John, the assistant manager, arrives sayings, "I'm so sorry!" over and over. I am allowed to stumble back to bed and try to sleep of my congested self.
I awoke with a start. It felt late. I did not put the car in the driveway because I have some big pieces of metal there to go the recycling center.
SHIT.
It was 9am. I haven't slept to 9am since, since, a long time ago.
I grabbed some jeans and race out to the car.
Ah, no ticket.
I move the car across the street and return to the kitchen to make a vitamin C cocktail.
Good morning.

...mmmphhh.

2008-08-27T09:17:00.004-05:00

I've been sick. UGH! It's so frustrating to have my momentum been slowed,
s l o w e d,
s l o w e d,
s l o w e d
...you get the point.
When I'm not forcing myself to do something productive I am either sitting on the couch or napping.
Jeeze...to have come this far just to be congested and phlegmy.
That's it, that's my big news for this week.
Oh, and I did want to tell you all that I had no idea how many antique dishes and tea cups we owned. They came out of the basement and it was a big surprise.
Maybe all this sniffling is due to all the mold and dust I've been dealing with....mmmphhh.

Jeeze, may we all have such memorable anniversaries.

2008-08-17T08:52:00.007-05:00

There is a bit of a story leading up to the part about my 21st wedding anniversary. Which is today.
Yesterday I worked at the Farmers Market like usual. When I got home there was a package on the table from our dear friend, Andy. Artie has hopping around in the kitchen desperately wanting to open it and having run out of excited patient for my return home.
"Sure, go ahead and open it honey."
Look what was inside:No wonder she was hopping around the kitchen! She knows that Uncle Andy lives near a Lindt factory store outlet and she was hoping that was what was inside. And she was right.
And not two minutes later but the there is a knock at the door and it's a delivery guy delivering an edible bouquet of chocolate covered strawberries from my sweetie. Look at this:How luscious are these? How thoughtful of my man to send me chocolate covered strawberry flowers. Oh, he knows me well.
Now for my funny story....
This week I was talking to Michael about our anniversary. This is the first time that we have ever been apart. I realized that we hadn't even talked about it and I had just assumed that we would do a 'do-over' sometime this Fall when we are settled in Paducah. It turns out that he had assumed the same thing so all was good. He did mention though that I would know that it was our anniversary when the time came. Ooohh I felt bad. I hadn't done anything for him. I told him how bad I felt and he reassured me that it was no big deal. No big deal?! After our phone conversation I felt awful. he did something for me and I didn't do anything for him. So I got to thinking about it. There is a personal joke between that has to do with poetry that he has written to me over the years. He writes very profound and beautiful poetry and a lot of times I don't get it. It took me years to finally tell him that many times I have no idea exactly what he is trying to say to me. So...I thought that it would be funny to write him a poem that made little sense and he would sit there and have no clue what the heck I was trying to say to him.
I sat for hours composing the perfect piece. I put in bits of personal stuff surrounded by stuff that didn't mean anything. I thought for sure that he would be bewildered. And at the bottom I hand wrote, "Because turn-a-round is fair play. I love you.".
Here is my poem for all to read and be bewildered by:

poetry

Your eyes
brown as DUST DEVILS
Whirling, whirly
In the desert of tucson.

Your hair
Black as a raven
Silent as an island night.

Why does the cat meow?

Does the cake whisper to you
As it whispers to me?

IS IT Like being in a dog’s mouth?

Your heart
clear and bright
travels to Glastonbury.

Your hands
Spaces upon spaces
A UNIVERSE OF CLAY DUST.

If only I could nibble on your ear tonight.

Mind you my husband does not have brown eyes or black hair.
Well, I call him up in the early evening and he answers by saying that he is reading a lovely poem from his wife and that I should write more. I was struck dumb. I didn't know what to say. He's going on and on about what a nice poem it is.
'You get it?", I ask.
"Yeah, why?", he replies nonchalantly.
"Because I don't even get it, that's why."
We laugh. Even in my most profound I am as simple as apple pie. And I thought that I was being so sassy and funny.
He did mention, however, that he wondered about the brown eyes and black hair.
Jeeze, may we all have such memorable anniversaries.

Because, you know, I am the Dairy Queen.

2008-08-13T07:35:00.009-05:00

This is us underground.
Yep. We went on a boat ride on an underground lake.
This was one of our Gatlinburg trip highlights. We went to The Lost Sea. This is one of the largest underground lakes in North America. We went on a tour that took about 1 1/2 hours. First we got to walk down the long yellow tunnel and meet up with our tour guide.We walked through the caverns. This place used to be an underground bar. During the prohibition some smart-thinking local set up a bar down there. Apparently too many people got way too rip roaring drunk and fell up the hand carved stairs one too many times and they had to close the operation down. Later food rations were stored down there. When the current owners bought the place an entire cavern was filled with these cracker rations.And this is when the guide turned out the lights.I have to include this picture because I can't tell which end is up. Seriously I've been flipping the thing around for minutes trying to figure it. What do you think? Did I get it right?This is my artsy fartsy picture of a small waterfall that we saw.This part of Tennessee has many underground caverns. I want to go back and do some more exploring. The boat ride was very cool! A while back the owners wanted to figure out where the lake ran into so they tagged a bunch of trout and stocked the lake. The tagged trout have never been discovered anywhere. They just stay in the lake so now the owners keep stocking it with more trout. They have these big lights that are kept on so that the trout won't go blind and all that they eat is Purina trout food. No kidding.
It was great fun and the only thing that made the day better was our trip to the cheese farm. Because, you know, I am the Dairy Queen.

Procrastination time is over!

2008-08-11T07:25:00.006-05:00

I must admit that I am procrastinating this morning. I've got a bunch of little stuff to accomplish before I take off to work at the Queensbury Farmers Market.
I've got two gallery orders to fill and I don't feel like having to pack them up and schlep them off to the post office. And I've got to mail out some overdue graduation gifts. And I've got to get over to Temple Sinai and reserve their function room for our 'going away' party. Like I said..I've got lots of little stuff to do. Oh, and shower. Don't forget to shower.
I am going to be a procrastination enabler to myself and tell you some about my trip to Paducah.
First and foremost...I FORGOT TO BRING MY CAMERA. This is the second time I have been to Paducah and forgot to bring my camera. Jeeze, huh? I don't like to borrow other people's cameras either so I don't have very many pictures of our trip.
Here is a list of anecdotes and some groovy things that we did:
*We went downtown to walk around and went into a store that was going out of business. We bought a Mexican sink for $50 for my mother's bathroom in her apartment. I even have a picture of it. It's not the totally cool Talevera tile that I love but it is sweet.*On that same walk downtown we went into an antique annex and spotted a bureau. This bureau is HUGE. It's made for two people, it's got a large mirror on the top, and it's beautifully carved. It was only $250 so Michael and I bought it for our new master bedroom. Xan was very put out because she wanted it but it is too wide for her bedroom. I don't have a picture of that. I kept meaning to go back and take one but....
*We went to Gatlinburg, TN so that we could go and hang out in the Smokies. That was way fun and very interesting. Gatlinburg is 'cheesetastic'. That is Artie's very own made up word. We all could have done with less 'cheesetastic' but it was a goof and entertaining. We did a couple of small hikes in the early mornings to avoid people and bugs. It was very nice. I would go back for the mountains and skip Gatlinburg. Michael spent a few hours at an art school called "Arrowmont". Very cool and hip place in the middle of cheesetastic-ville.
*We went to Dollywood. Yeah, we did. Been there - done that. Wasn't so terribly impressed. They had a water gun raft ride that we REALLY wanted to go on. When we got to the ride, after having paid to put our bags in a locker, the ride closed because a magnificent thunder and lightning storm hit the park. We hid in an arcade and played a bazillion games of air hockey. We talked a handy man into passing out garbage bags and we made makeshift rain ponchos so that we could get to our car. I was disappointed that we did not get into the Dolly museum. I like Dolly Parton and I was interested. This is a picture of Artie and Xan on one of the rides.
*It was hot, hot, hot! Hot during the day and HOT at night. Ick! Artie asked me why we keep moving to places where the bugs get bigger and bigger. I had no good answer for her.
*I got to see a bunch of transformation on our house. I got to see the addition being torn down and the new one being put up. I got to see the staircase come down, get flipped around, and ready to put up on it's new place. Most of the framing was done so you could see exactly what room was what. It was all very cool.
*Michael and I spent a lot of time making decisions. Picking out flooring, appliances, siding, counter tops, and designing the back yard. I don't like having to make decisions so quickly I had a headache for a whole week! In our new home we will have 3 kitchens. I know, crazy. We have our personal kitchen, the kitchen for the apartment, and the kitchen for the Kookie Bar. We decided that we do not need to go out and buy all new appliances for all of them so we are looking for used everything. That meant a bunch of running around. We did find a good used appliance place and we liked the guy in charge. He seems to like us and he wants us to buy a used Sub-Zero commercial fridge from him for $300. You could have knocked us over with a feather. Sub-Zeros are expensive. Apparently this is one that someone wanted fixed then changed their mind, someone else was going to purchase it then changed their mind, the repair guy just wants his money out of it and get it out of his hair. It just might be ours.
*I met so many delightful people that my head started to hurt. I did mention that headache. By the middle of the second week I told Michael that I just couldn't bear to meet anyone else. I have many years of living there to get to know everyone and to have Michael try to squeeze it into a week was insane.
*I got to have dinner Patience & Bill Renzulli. I adore them! I truly look forward to getting to know them better.
*I got to have dinner with Larry (from the bank) and his wife. Another lovely couple and I look forward to getting to know better.
*I got to meet Kevin. What an interesting man.
*I got to meet Nikki May. She is wonderful.
*I got to meet Charlotte and Ike. What great folk.
*And so many more...I moving into a very rich and vibrant community.
OK folks it's now 9am and I need to get on with my day.
Procrastination time is over!

Transformations of the apartment kind.

2008-08-10T05:51:00.008-05:00

I thought that I would post from Paducah but we didn't get great wifi from the apartment.
I thought that I would post as soon as I got back but....
I have no idea what the heck happened! I have no great reason. No great story of how busy I have been. I mean, I have been busy.
I have been living in transformation.
From this:
Now I am going to have a total aside with you. I just spent the last ten minutes looking for the 'before' picture of my bathroom because it is the biggest transformation that I have. Apparently I have thought about taking a picture of my bathroom so much that I thought that I had done it. I have NO picture of my bathroom in its 'before' state. I love my bathroom. Isn't that a weird thing to say? I really do.
Let me describe my 'before' bathroom to you.
In my bathroom we had tan colored wall that are textured like sand. It's because the guy that we bought the house from used shelving contact paper right on the sheet rock. Oh, yes he did! So I gently ripped off what I could and then for some unknown reason my husband had a gallon of this type of paint that you use on cement. It has grit in it. I used this paint to hide all the flaws of the sheet rock because neither one of us wanted to plaster (too much of a pain). The paint was tan in color and I chose a funky blue as a trim. We got a shower curtain of a tropical island beach scene. We painted the sub-floor brown (ran out of money solution...btw most of our decorating in this apartment are ran out of money solutions). I made a back-splash to go on the wall by the old butlers sink that we installed. The back-splash is made of rocks that I collected from Agate beach on Lopez and shells that I would collect on our working trips to Florida. On the wall I hung beaded garland with fish hanging on it. There were local calenders from Lopez surrounding the toilet alcove. There was a painting that Michael did of a crone looking upward in bliss and a batique of a nude woman worshiping the moon hanging by the mirror. On the wall we installed a collection of canning jars filled with fun stuff. It was our way of getting some ambient light into a small dark space. I loved my bathroom!
Now look at this:
And a closer look:I still love my bathroom. It's totally different and just as groovy.

Here are a few more pictures of the great apartment transformation:
This is my new kitchen. I am very pleased with the new colors and vinyl.

This is the studio. No more hard wood floor covered with clay.

Lots of boxes because I am cleaning out the garage and needed to bring this stuff in.

This is the girls' room. No more blue walls and trim. Ethel seems to like it.

Transformations of the apartment kind.

I gave my cats a special hug yesterday.

2008-07-13T05:09:00.003-05:00

The movers came to move a bunch of furniture into storage.
I woke up at 5am on Friday and did a few last minute things that could get done to make it easy for them. I felt good. Oh so good. I was so ready for them. There really wasn't anymore I could do to be prepared.
They came.
Everything went along swimmingly well. They were FAST!!! and professional. They moved everything out of the apartment in no time. They moved onto the back porch and got the antique stove and potter's wheel. They moved into the garage and got the two pieces of furniture in there out and then they moved on to the old stove and fridge. They were going to load the fridge right into my van for me so that I could take it over to the recycling center (cool).
Here comes my first hurdle of the day:
As they are moving the fridge there is some sort of problem. Vince (the owner of the moving company) looks at me and tells me that there is something dead under the fridge. Apparently something crawled under the fridge and got caught up in the electrical wires under there, couldn't get out and died. I asked if they wanted a bag for it. They declined (darn) and freed whatever it was and left it there in a pile of leaves and insulation. I'll tell you the rest of that story in a few minutes.
We were done here at the house and we all left to go to storage.
Storage, the second hurdle of my day:
I arrive before the movers and open everything up. Waiting, waiting, ah here they come. Vince takes one look at all my boxes and tells me that I packed them in there in the worst way possible (a bit of an ego deflate, I thought that I was doing such a great job). I explained to them that I wanted the furniture packed in such a way as to leave as much room as possible for more stuff to be packed in there (that would be the garage and basement). So these wizards of speed are moving very quickly and as they are about 3/4 of the way done I realize that they have left a ton of open space in the back and I don't have much room at all to pack the rest of my stuff in there. It was dawning on me rather slowly. The realization was on a stealth mission and I was easy prey. As I am paying the movers I am in a fog of trying to think spacious thoughts. They leave. I loose it. I break down in a sobbing huddle in my car. I am crying like a toddler who just had their favorite toy taken away from them.
I screwed up.
If only,
if only,
if only,
I had been more on the ball and used all the time (there was a minimum of time that I had to pay for) and made them rearrange the boxes from the get-go.
Or I had said something when I realized there was a big open space in the back.
Or I had them pack the boxes in and around the furniture as it was being moved in.
Or If only I hadn't paid all that money just to walk away feeling like a complete dope.
I cried. No, I sobbed. I sobbed most of the afternoon. I sobbed myself to sleep.
I sobbed to Michael (who had the great misfortune of calling about an hour after the incident).
I sobbed, hiccuping sobs, on my way to the recycling center and practiced what I was going to say to anyone who saw me. "Don't worry I may be crying but I am OK. Really I am OK."
I'm not as hysterical about it now, just royally bummed out at myself. I blew it, I really blew it.
I am now off my game and things are not moving along with the ease and grace as before. I've called in two terrific girlfriends to help me today to get ready for the painter. Thank goddess I have enough sense to call in the troops for some girl bonding.
My second hurdle:
I spent the whole afternoon sobbing about the storage unit and totally getting my panties in a twist about the dead animal in the garage. I kept thinking that it might be a cat. We have a lot of cats in the neighborhood and they like to crawl into our garage. So, I kept thinking that it might be a cat. I was having a hard time dealing with the thought that I could have possibly participated in killing a cat. After avoiding it for a day. Artie and I made a plan to go out and deal with it. Artie woke up a sick and it didn't work out. I know that I am extremely high strung at the moment and if I went out there by myself and it was a cat I would loose whatever grip on sanity I have. So I did what every good neighbor does, I went across the street to our neighbor's house and talked to John. I sat in his living room. He had just taken a shower and was luxuriously laid out on his recliner. His young son had guests over and they are all stood in the doorway watching their 'trying to keep it together' neighbor explain to John that she needs a friend to come over to her garage and put this dead (Oh goddess if it's a cat!) animal in a bag. They watch her melt into tears as she explains to John that she just can't do this alone because if it is a cat she will loose it and she just needs another human there. John becomes her saviour of the day and they walk past the gawking youngsters to said garage.
IT WAS NOT A CAT.
It was a rat and we got it into the bag without incident. It had been dead at least 6 or 7+ years. So now I don't have to have nightmares about rats in my garage. It probably was in there stuck in the fridge when we bought the house.
Yeah John, thank you John!
My first girlfriend will be here in about an hour. Oh it is so good to have friends.
Girlfriends, guyfriends, understanding husbands, and cat friends.
I gave my cats a special hug yesterday.

What is not to love about them?

2008-07-08T04:36:00.004-05:00

On Saturday I drove up to Corinth to see the fireworks display with my good friends Linda & Volnay.
This is a conversation they had in the car:

Linda...I wish we had known that there were fireworks on Thursday night at the Harness Track, Honey.
Volnay...I hadn't heard about them either.
Linda...That's OK, we had our own fireworks didn't we honey?
Volnay...Yes we did.
Linda...That's right, Amen.

What is not to love about them?

...and I still love you!!!!

2008-07-05T05:30:00.009-05:00

The kitchen is done!!! (and I just realized that I have a different font because Michael is switching things around)
Oh well...The kitchen is done!!!!(And as I tried to post this picture I realize he changed more than the font. Must I share my bed and my blog space?) ((That's meant to be more funny than bitchy. But it does all relate to the time that said husband used my ebay account to try and sell some stuff and I ended up with negative feedback. I didn't like that!))
Anyway...The kitchen is done!!! I took that picture in the wee hours of the morning.
This is what I have to deal with next.And a view from the other side of the room.You know how it is when you're packing and you come across that thing that you're just not sure what to do with? Well this is the room full of such things. As I have been packing I keep moving things that I don't want to deal with. The only room left after this is the bathroom and it's not big enough so the buck stops here. I'm hoping to get everything packed and the furniture moved by the time Artie and I head out to Paducah on the 15th. I say that with a hint of "Oh, it had better be done or I'll be in a very cranky mood!". Things are just not moving as quickly as I want them to.
I spent a lovely three hours at Lowes' the other day. The first two were spent in the learning curve of purchasing and laying carpet and vinyl (no longer linoleum). The third was spent having to pick out said carpet and vinyl. Here's what my mushy brain has come up with.
Vinyl choices:
Carpet choices:
You should go and check out Michael's blog at www.paducahpossible.blogspot.com.
He has all sorts of pictures and videos of what he is doing.
And just to prove to everyone, myself, my husband, that I really do love and cherish that man of mine I ordered him a Utilikilt. Michael used to have one and somehow on our show circuit travels it went 'AWOL'. The other day as I was packing up the studio I found the receipt with all the measurements and style. I called them and got him a replacement. If you read this, Honey, before it arrives...
(((SURPRISE))).
You mess around with my blogger and ebay accounts and I still love you!!!!

"STUFF, the under rated spice of a marriage"

2008-07-03T05:26:00.003-05:00

A conversation:

She..."When does the back building start getting build?"
He..."Well, I've been thinking about that. Since we've added on to the house I'm thinking that we might not need to build it."
She..."So where are you going to put all your stuff?"
He..."What stuff?"
She..."All the stuff you collect."
He..."Mmmmhhhhh."
She..."You have to have a place to put it."
He..."Why?"
She..."Because we need a place for you to put all the stuff that you collect. You're happy because you get to have your stuff. I'm happy because I don't have to look at it. We're both happy."
He..."Right. If we don't have enough room in the back storage of the house we can always get a shed for a couple of thousand instead of paying twenty thousand for that back building."
She..."That's right."

Bill wrote, "STUFF...the under rated spice of life".
I say, "STUFF, the under rated spice of a marriage".

...more fun than me?

2008-07-02T07:31:00.000-05:00

Is it possible that anyone out there is having more fun than me?

www.paducahpossible.blogspot.com

2008-07-01T07:19:00.002-05:00

Michael has started a blog about his adventures renovating in Paducah. Don't know how to do a link in this text so the address is:
www.paducahpossible.blogspot.com
And it seems that he hasn't figured out how to get it in his name (and just yesterday i was bragging about what a computer genius he is).
Check it out and eventually I'll get it linked in my sidebar.
That's:
www.paducahpossible.blogspot.com

...picture of the driveway for you.

2008-06-30T08:46:00.009-05:00

Already today I have been to the dump and our cat, Godiva, has peed and pooped in my closet. What a morning, huh? I could really use some suggestions with how to deal with our kitty's anxiety!
Our bus has moved onto another home. We donated 'Big Red' to the Kidney Foundation. Here is a picture before he left.Moving, moving, moving...
and gone!This all happened over a week ago. I have been meaning to post before and after pictures. Well, the truth is I'm embarrassed to show you any pictures of what my driveway looks like without 'Big Red' there. It looks as bad as I thought it would and slowly I have been picking away at the debris that Michael left behind. I know, I know...they really are treasures in his mind. But then again he thinks that I'm beautiful and amazing too. So something is wrong with him obviously.
I hate to think where 'Big Red' is going. I kinda felt like a bad mother sending him off with strangers. He has served us well and even though he never became the hippy RV that we dreamed of. He was surely the grooviest storage unit in Saratoga Springs! So hail to 'Big Red'! He is off to serve humankind in ways I never imagined.
On a brighter note...I can't leave him behind.
If I get up the nerve I'll take a picture of the driveway for you.

Big sigh!

2008-06-27T06:05:00.005-05:00

...and this is where I sit as we speak (so to speak). Taking a break from packing at 7am doesn't seem so unreasonable after being awake since 4. I lay there for an hour desperately willing myself to fall back into slumber but sleep evaded me.
I am almost done packing up the studio and office. Shared room, don't do that again. Everything is covered in a fine dusting of, well, clay dust.
I chose the studio first because it is the most daunting. You know, Michael's stuff, lots of real thoughtful decision making to do. Most of my time debating how precision this plaster mold is or is this old glass blender top really something that Michael wants (it was). I was determined to finish yesterday and finally gave up at 8:30 to have some dinner and then I promptly went to bed. No wonder I woke up at 4!
As I pack the office this morning I am filled with burning questions.
*Does Michael really need three hole punches and three 3-hole paper punches?
*How many paper clips can one really use?
*If I put all the rulers and yard sticks together can I reach the moon? Or down the block?
*How is it possible to be so hoppin' mad at someone and still love them? (Survival of mankind I assume. And I'm not really all that hoppin' mad anymore. I'm more in the 'Jeeze, Michael you have got way more stuff than me stage.')
The pile o' stuff that you see on the desk is my not paying attention to mail, estate stuff, and show files. It can wait. Look what I have accomplished:These shelves were chock o' block full of Michael's things. Ceramic bisque ware, molds, files, artwork, and antique treasures.
This is Michael's studio table:All the shelves are gone and all of his supplies are packed up. Now there are my plants (moved from the kitchen window so that we could put in the air conditioner) and ceramic art pieces that I am going to use in a back splash in the kitchen (that is my creative treat for when I am done packing).
Today I will be done packing the studio and office.
Happy dance!
Big sigh!

Hey, Happy Summer!

2008-06-23T07:49:00.004-05:00

This is a cake that Artie and I decorated for a friend of ours, Linda (again). It's for Linda's friend who is a Yankee's fan and is turning 80 (OK the next day I found out it was 80 and had to change the numbering).
Is it possible that in the middle of having a total brain freeze about what to do with all our stuff that I can be creative?
I am having a brain freeze (squeeze) because I have to decide what to do with our treasured possessions:
A. Does it spend the summer in my garage? (Realtor hates that idea)
B. Does it go over to where we already have storage and get a unit all it's own? (We have accessibility issues there that I think I might have worked out)
C. Pack it now into a moving cube and have it sent off to storage until September and then get another moving cube in September for the stuff that is still in storage and the house? (Can you now understand my brain freeze?)
D. Pack it all now, everything, into a moving pod/cube/thing and have it sent to storage somewhere?
E. Throw it all away and be done with it?
F. Decorate a cake instead and go hide under a pillow?

The cake was fun and a good distraction. And we did a Yankee's logo transfer. It took us a while to figure it out and our dinner company had to leave in the middle of the whole thing (boo-hoo, I felt so bad Laura & Paul!). But Laura got to frost the cake, right Laura? And we got to dip strawberries in Italian Meringue Buttercream, right?
This morning I think that I figured out the stuff issue. I am getting another storage unit and then in September we will get the humongous moving trailer and we will have to Uhaul our stuff to our house. It's the economical way to go.
So, that's that and I have a hefty list of things to do before I go to work at the Farmers Market.
Hey, Happy Summer!

...I'm paying the well muscled professionals.

2008-06-20T06:45:00.006-05:00

They are off to our new home.After a weekend full of extended family enjoying Barry's 75th birthday and meeting David's fiance, Kiryn, we sent Michael & Xan off in Mogli (our new-to-us van).Michael had that van packed. Every inch was full of things that he and Xan will need for their summer of renovating. On the roof (as you can see) there were bicycles and ladders. In the rear was packed two 8' long antique butcher blocks (to be used for counters in one upstairs kitchen and one downstairs kitchen), 8 or so antique doors (the van was looking a little weighty by then), one very large double cast iron sink (the van was looking like it was ready to give birth any moment), tools and table saw, clothes, bedding, kitchen supplies, a cot, and Xan's goldfish. (the van was about to rub it's butt all the way to Kentucky). Even the front of the cab was packed.Michael didn't realize until the night before he left that he would be traveling through the Appalachian Mountains. (It seems that everyone had that one figured out but him) The poor guy spent two hours online trying to figure the best way to drive through them. He was trying to find the pass with the lowest elevation because the van was so loaded. The Cumberland Gap it was and he did just fine.
I took the train home from our extended family's place. Xan called to tell me when they were entering the mountain range. "Just wanted you to know that we are goin' in, Mom. I'll call you on the other side." she gleefully yelled into the phone. About 4 hours later she called to say that they arrived safely on the other end. Michael told her to tell me that I would not have liked the shear drops off of the edge of the road. He's probably right.
So, they are there. They have moved into their room in Anita's house. Anita made them dinner on their first night (I love her already!). They have been to every official office in city hall, unpacked the van, met with the electric company, and have met with our contractor Duanne. Pronounced Dew-Ain-Uh (and take your time sayin' it).
I am here in Saratoga packing, packing ,packing. If you need any good shit come by my way because I have got a load of it that I am giving away. I could have kissed the feet of the woman that took that old junky kiln off of my back porch. Thank the gods for the recycling email group here! I post it and people email me that they want. And they will come and take it away. Oh how I love that group right now.
I've decided that this is my last move where I am packing up stuff all by myself. Every move that I have made with my husband (and there are many) I am the packer. From apartment to apartment in NYC, from NYC to Albany, NY, from Albany to Tucson, AZ, from Tucson to Lopez Island, WA, from Lopez to Saratoga Springs, NY, and from Saratoga Springs to Paducah, KY.
The next move (if we ever get our asses back to Lopez full time) I'm paying the well muscled professionals.

Have a peaceful day.

2008-06-11T10:32:00.005-05:00

Well, we were at it again.Our good friend Linda, amazing Linda (I really should spend a whole post on Linda and how she gets arrested for us all), asked the girls and I if we wanted to decorate a cake for someone in the Saratoga Peace Alliance. Linda made the cake and brought it over and the girls and I made an Italian meringue buttercream (a new recipe for us and OMG delicious!).
We started off with the idea of doing a tie dye background with a peace sign on the front, that morphed into Xan coming up with a tree that made a peace sign if you turned it upside down, that morphed into Artie creating the tree peace sign right-side up, and that morphed into what we all finally loved...And there are even clouds in the sky...We had such fun creating together!!! And we hope that Jeff did indeed have a peaceful birthday.
By the way...thanks for all the supportive and humorous responses to my ranting post. It's good to feel cared for and things are indeed still stressful but it's good to know that I can be bitchy and still feel like a part of the human race.
Have a peaceful day.

This is the post where she rants.

2008-06-09T06:08:00.006-05:00

Well we are in countdown mode.
Five days and counting.
Remember that post about 5 or 6 months ago where I said I wanted to be honest, just be "me" in my blog. Yeah? Good because...
I am ready to knock my husband's block off!!! (that was in my best confessional whisper)
See how happy we look...I desperately need to hold this image in my head as I hear Michael telling people that he is preparing the house so that I don't need to do anything but paint once he is gone for the summer.
Anything but paint?!!!
This husband of mine is like some sort of out of control speed boat leaving a wake of destruction behind him. I am going to have to do so much work this summer to get us packed up and get this house ready to sell.
Yeah, he's doing prep work so that I can paint the apartment but, he is also leaving patches of plaster on the floor that I was only planning on doing touch-up paint work to and now I am going to have to scrape and sand the whole thing.
And when I try to ask him about things that need to get done, I see his head actually rise a few inches in the air. If it weren't for the skin, bone, and tendon thingies in there I know that his head would be hurtling toward space.
OK, he's stressed. We (the girls, cats, and I) got that. Artie is spending as much time as she can away from home. Xan is hiding in computer land. Me?...I have no idea what I am doing. I think I am waiting for the calm after the storm. That summer apart is sounding rather appealing at the moment.
Don't get me wrong. I love my husband and I am in a committed marriage and all that. But (big BUT) he is a miserable, irritable mess right now and when he is stressed he is rather unbearable (diplomatic word choice).
Here is my list of painting tasks:
1. Go to our storage unit and repack all of the boxes that came out of Audrey's house.
2. Clean out the garage (Michael's stuff...treasure? or trash?...he is a pack rat)
3. Pack up the apartment and move it into the garage.
4. Unload and move the bus (was supposed to happen before he left but the title *poofed*)
5. Clean out the basement and pack it all into the garage? or storage?.
6. Clean and sort all of Michael's stuff on the back porch (again pack rat, old kilns, bottles, in my opinion junkie furniture, etc...).
7. Paint the apartment.
8. Get the floors redone in the apartment.
9. Possibly get our driveway paved because right now it is dirt.
And Michael thinks that I am doing this all by myself. I get to stand around and hear about how he is hiring people to help him. He expects me to do this all by myself. And he expects me to get a part time job. And he wants the house on the market in July.
For the time being he is in no space to hear the reality of how unrealistic he is. That conversation will have to wait for later. When he is removed from his own way- behind-schedule packing hell.
I'm feeling very put out and pissy about the whole ordeal at the moment. (I'm sure that is obvious).
Just holding that picture in my head.
Just holding that picture in my head.
And remembering that what we are moving toward is a joyous thing.

...I'll pack this one up special.

2008-06-05T17:53:00.003-05:00

I have been spending the day packing. Sorting and packing. Packing and sorting.
As I was going through the stuff on our buffet I found this note from Xan.

To My Wonderful Mom,

You are the best mom I could ever wish for.
You are strict when you need to be, but so loving.
I know I sometimes get angry but I know when I sat up in the sky and looked down and chose a mom, I made a wonderful choice.
And I thank the gods that let me grace your presence and let me be your daughter.

Love, Xan
It made my day. I think I'll pack this one up special.

...wish her well on her next try.

2008-06-03T07:26:00.006-05:00

Artie set up at a craft show on Sunday.It was the Jazz and Blues Festival here in Saratoga. There was good music and a steady stream of "Oh, how cool is that!" customers.
Art has been making bottle cap jewelry for a while. It's very fun stuff and the burning desire for extra cash is motivating her to get booth space in some small local shows.
Except for the wind,(we were weighted down very well and I was a bit concerned about the 10 or so other newbie tents that weren't) it was a beautiful afternoon to sit outside and sell one's wares.I think that the use of the Saratoga water bottles was a neat idea for displaying her bracelets and necklaces.She didn't make the gobs of money at this show that she wanted but she covered her expenses and proved to herself that she can get out there with her jewelry and face the public. Let's all think good Artie thoughts and wish her well on her next try.

From Russia, with love.

2008-05-30T07:34:00.006-05:00

The past couple of days have been really hectic for me.
We are in the midst of packing (trying to get things packed up for Michael and Xan so that they can leave on time) and finishing up our homeschool year.
The day before yesterday Xan and I went on an errand extravaganza. We started off with lunch at a Chinese joint (thought it was going to be soup at Panera's but we changed out minds), Lane Bryant (to look at bras. God! I need a comfortable bra. Is there one out there?! And one for under $36 would be nice.), Radio Shack (for the multitude of gidgies that we needed for the next round of physics experiments and I had to put on my science head to figure all that out. It hurt), Spencers (to look for prisms for said physics experiments), the NY DMV (to replace the title to our red bus that we cant find :( which means that the bus can't leave my driveway for another week or two, ugh!), and Petsmart (to look for sand to fill some display bottles for Artie because she is going to sell bottle cap jewelry at a small show this weekend).
As I write it all down it somehow doesn't seem like much but it was. It really was!
Upon our return home I found this on the table. I am posting two pictures. The first is the artsy one.And the next is the more straight forward version.Artie got a package from Russia. How cool.
Art has been buying a bunch of stuff on Ebay these days. She's gotten a Jack Skellington mug, a Johnny Depp mug, a red & white plastic lunch box that snaps together a really neat way, dvd's, music, and lots of other cool teenage stuff. This package holds the coveted cd of Vitas. Vitas is a male singer from Russia and he has got an amazing voice. He can sing high notes like a female opera star. If you have seen the movie "The Fifth Element" than you have heard him sing. His voice is used for part of the song that the alien blue lady sings.
Art has been whining all week that her Vitas cd has not arrived. She had no clue that she ordered it from Russia. Her Ebay consciousness had not expanded globally yet. Sorta has now.
So from Russia over the love lines this cd was ordered.
And it arrived.
From Russia, with love.

...it ebbs and it flows.

2008-05-29T07:27:00.006-05:00

Michael had a gallery opening last Saturday at Galerie BMG in Woodstock, NY.He had to go down alone. Can you believe it? I had to work at the Farmers Market, Artie had to work at Starbucks, and Xan had a soccer game. So, we sent the Lone Ranger off in our new-to-us Hippie van. I woke him up early in the morning to tell him that I would keep the Hippie van and let him take our old faithful with the comfy seats. Nope. I awoke him for nothing because he wanted to take the Hippie van for a test run. This is the van that is going to take him to Kentucky so it made sense.
Michael is off to Woodstock and the rest of the females are off to work & play.
It was good day! A successful opening was had. The crowd was diverse.Michael set himself up with a small table and did some on-site hand sculpting. He created small caricatures for people for $30 bucks a pop. Which means he came home with a wad of money in his pocket. We like that very much!
All of the small faces that Galerie BMG had sold and there is some strong interest in his new work.
I made these pictures big because the pieces are BIG. These heads weigh a ton. Especially the one with the chair.
I like this new direction that Michael is going in.
On the way home the van broke down. Yeah, the Hippie van conked out. But, not too badly it was a belt and we got it fixed the next day. Poor Michael had to wait an hour for AAA to show up and tow him back the last 1/2 hour to Saratoga.
So goes life, it ebbs and it flows.

Happy Sunday Y'all.

2008-05-25T09:27:00.003-05:00

I got up before everyone else this morning. Oops, I cant be honest with that. Artie was up around 6am to go to work at Starbucks. So, in actuality I was the second person up this morning. oops, that is not true either because Michael got up at 8am to answer the phone (but he went back to sleep so maybe it doesn't really count).
I can say this....
It is 10:29am and I am the only one awake. The only human awake that is.
I rolled out of bed with aspirations of updating the links on the sidebar of my blog. It's something that I have been meaning to do for ages.
I've got interesting friends to share, new artwork that I like, and new blogs from Paducah that I read.
I started out on task.
I wrote down all the places that I wanted to send you.
Then I went online to check their web addresses.
This is where I started to wander.
I am a wanderer.
I walk off the path on the trail.
I take the side street.
I follow the links from here to there.
I visited my friends. I left comments. I know all the art shows where the cool art I like will be. I laughed, I sighed, and now I have no desire what-so-ever to go and add in all those links.
But...I do have a list (pat me on the back Jane) and maybe someday this week I will add all my new goodies to my links in the sidebar of my blog.
As is most often the case, I now have a case of 'fanny fatigue'. I've been sitting here for over an hour. I must go replenish and nourish my mind and fingers.
Happy Sunday Y'all.

...'good medicine' too.

2008-05-23T08:24:00.004-05:00

I have invited someone that I was friends with way back in high school to visit my blog.
This post is for you (and everyone else of course).
This is me now.An adventurous journey away from the teenager I was then.
Life is funny (and I don't mean 'ha, ha' funny).
I look back on my life and I don't like the middle of the beginning. I think I liked the start. I was young and giggly. The family clown and adored by my parents. What can I say, I arrived on the planet happy.
As I grew more aware and able to process I realized that my family was unhappy. I had a mom who was not in love with my dad and a dad who adored my mom but was ill-equipped to deal with her. I had a brother who's defense mechanism was to disappear (he really did, I think he is a shaman) and a brother who was prone to violence and alcohol.
I became the 'fix it' girl. Happy and flexible, was who I became. My Dad used to call me, "The dirty dumb blonde at the bar". I was everything that my mom wanted me to be. Pretty, self-involved, skinny, and stupid.
Most importantly I became the sexual play toy of my disturbed brother. For years.
I played the role to appease him, to make him tolerable, to ease the tension in the house, to make the disappearing one appear once in a while, to make my parents not fight....a whole slew of mis-guided, not old enough to understand life yet, reasons.
It was my role, the 'fix it' girl.
I loathe who I was.
I was 25 years old when I realized that I was my own self and not the image of who my mom wanted me to be.
I was 30 years old when I came out of the closet and announced to the world that I was an incest survivor.
I am 46 years old and I have once again discovered the child that I lost. I have not lost my faith in humanity, I believe in forgiveness (not that I can throw myself into it but I know it exists), I believe that I can still be the happy being that I arrived on the planet to be, I believe in love, and I believe in making love.
I have not yet discovered how not to loathe myself during those abusive years and the years up until I was about 25.
It used be that I felt like I walked around with a big sign on my head that said, Hey, look, I'm an incest survivor. It was all I talked about and it was who I was. Now, I feel like I share selectively and know that the person I am now is a summation of all that I have been.
So, my friend from the past...
I feel very vulnerable in contacting you. How do I expect someone to have liked me when I couldn't even like myself. Oh, those retched high school years.
My father passed away and an old friend (from our circle) came to the service. She came up to me and we were chatting and I blurted out to her that I so disliked myself in high school that I can't imagine anyone else liking me. Her response was that it was such an honest and healthy thing to say. I made me laugh...she was good medicine.
Maybe, you and I, talking with each other can be 'good medicine' too.

I'll tell you all about it tomorrow...

2008-05-22T16:29:00.006-05:00

I'm not sure where I have been. Really. It's one of those weird time warps where you jolt into awareness all of a sudden and you are just not quite sure how you got there. Like when you are driving sometimes. Maybe I shouldn't admit to that last part.
But, anywho, here I am present and accounted for.
We had our last show two weeks ago and Michael has been in a production frenzy ever since. He is making stuff, loading the kiln, unloading the kiln, glazing stuff, loading the kiln, and unloading the kiln. I have taken to standing out of his way and just let him whirl around me. He leaves the house. I know he will return. What he is doing and where he has gone is a mystery yet to be solved at some other time. He has so much to accomplish before he takes off to Paducah that I think that I will just let him get what he needs to get done.
The girls have been in a creative zone.They went on a tie-dye binge.Why just this morning Xan came into the kitchen to show off her new tie-dye undies. She's not going to like that I am telling you all this but it's my blog, so there.
Xan and one of her friends painted our new van. Thanks to our good friend, Linda, who gave it to us!! Michael can now drive to Paducah and I can have a car here.
We are moving. We're really moving.
I visited my mom in my absence from you. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. We talked of furniture that she will be bringing to Paducah.
My mom is going to be living with us. She is really going to be living with us.
Dear reader, you can read anything you want into that one because any emotion or subtext that you can think of is probably really close to all the emotions that I feel about it.
All in all, I'm in a good space. My household is hectic. I'd like to say that the house is dirty and unkept because of it but I can't do that and be honest. My house is always dirty and unkept.
And tomorrow I get to work at the Farmers Market and Michael is off to a gallery opening in Woodstock. This is a picture of a some new work that he will be showing. When the weather was nice he had them all outside to glaze them. I'll tell you all about it tomorrow...

Just maybe.

2008-05-19T07:53:00.002-05:00

Maybe when one is sitting at the desk reconciling the checkbook and one is smelling cat poop *sniff*sniff*sniff* then maybe there is truly cat poop way under the desk against the wall where one can't easily reach it to clean it up.
Just maybe.

...some more laughs to be had.

2008-05-01T07:46:00.007-05:00

It's finally catching up with me. This weekend is our last show and then we are diving into our "Paducah Plan". That means no more art show income for 4 1/2 months. YIKES!!!!
That part time job that I've been talking about getting better appear next week.
It's just all happening a lot sooner than I anticipated. And that is so like me. I am always the Mom that is scrambling for the child care at the last minute. Just yesterday I was trying to figure out where Xan could stay this weekend so that she can go to her soccer game. I know you are thinking that it was only Wednesday and I had two days to figure it out. But you are wrong, we leave today to set up for our show and I had totally forgotten about Xan and her soccer game.
It all worked out. She is staying home with Artie for Friday and Saturday and then our friend, Linda, is going to pick her up and play 'soccer mom' on Sunday.
This is why I call myself "THE LOGISTICS MANAGER".
Last night was our last night of our "Wilton 1 Cake Decorating Class". Being the good Terras that we are, we rebelled. The girls and I decided that we were going to make chocolate tortes instead of layer cakes with the ucky Wilton frosting that we have to use. So I made two (Artie and I decided that we would share decorating one) Mocha Pecan Tortes with Milk Chocolate Mocha Glaze (these cakes deserve capitals). We got to thinking that Artie and our upstairs neighbor, Greg, recently had birthdays so we made a birthday cake for them. This is the cake that Artie and I decorated.This is the cake that Xan decorated.Our instructor looked at us strangely when we brought in our cakes. And, OH, you should have seen her face when Artie asked if it was okay not to copy the cake that was shown in the instruction pamphlet. Our illustrious leader was surely shaken by the idea that we wanted to venture off onto our own and her response was that we needed to at least make something that resembled the picture. I think that we were a bit challenging for her and the 'Wilton Way'. One of our classmates told us that the class would not have been as fun without us. Apparently we are very funny and very generous because we each gave her some roses that we made.
We think our cakes were pretty and yummy. So did Greg.Xan and I have signed up for the 'Fondant and Gum Paste' class. Which, by the way, is why we took this cake decorating class in the first place just so that we can get into the fondant class.
So, in our future I see more cakes to be made, another teacher to stretch, and some more laughs to be had.

Oh boy!

2008-04-23T06:42:00.006-05:00

The girls and I have joined a cake decorating class.Every Wednesday we are off to A.C. Moore for our Wilton 1 Cake Decorating class.
Wasn't until the first class that it sunk into my thick skull that we would be needing to do three of everything. That meant that last week we had to bring three cakes. Let me rephrase that...we had to bring three frosted cakes. The day was a logistical nightmare with only one pan (have I told you how many times I have packed up this apartment?), a limited amount of ingredients, two trips to various medical appointments, and this all had to begin with a trip to A.C. Moore to make sure that we had three of everything (that would be pastry bags, and tips, and the special Wilton piping gel, and stuff like that).
We each made our own cake. Xan's was a one egg chocolate cake (we only had one egg at the time), mine was gluten free, Artie's was a boxed gingerbread cake. Artie pulled the box out of her room. I don't even want to go there! We went grocery shopping for the hugest can of Crisco made on this planet and to heft bags of powdered sugar into the back of the van. We made faces of disgust as we mixed Crisco with sugar and butter flavoring (the special Wilton recipe that we have to use for this class). It is as icky as it sounds!!
It was six o'clock with a 6:30 class time. We were still frosting away and trying to figure out the right consistencies for the three different consistencies of frosting that we had to bring to our new class. We blew out of the kitchen as gracefully as a pelican landing on water. The kitchen was a disaster. Oh it was such a disaster!
We made it through our class with a minimum of mishap. Xan and Artie sat next to each other and bickered. Both of them thought that I wore a maid's outfit and it was my task to retrieve every little thing that they needed. We had been asked to bring a simple design to learn how to do transfers onto our cakes or we could use the simple rainbow that Wilton provided.
When it finally came time to do the transfers (and BTW our cakes were not the worst frosted cakes in the room like we thought they would be) I have a petroglyph, Artie has a peace sign, Xan has a Celtic knot, and the rest of the class has (you got it!) the rainbow. We got the last ten minutes of class to work on our cakes so everybody had to take them home to finish them.
Xan finished hers that night and took it over to our next door neighbors.I finished my cake the next day and gave it to our friends that are gluten-free. I was inspired to write that during class when I saw a big 'you know what' right there in the middle of my cake stuck in the frosting.Artie finished decorating hers later in the day and took it to a potluck at her GED class. She forgot to take a picture of it.
Today we have to bring 8 cupcakes each. We're going to learn how to make clowns on the tops. Oh boy!

...we all left the table full.

2008-04-20T21:46:00.007-05:00

We spent days in the preparation!
It was a dear, tender, sweet time. Xan wanted to know my secrets. The one's that a mother passes down to her daughter.
We started with lists. Many lists.
Lists of what we needed for the table.
Then lists of the recipes.
Then lists of ingredients.
Then lists of what we would make each day.
(Jane is proud, this I know)
We started with a whole chicken and worked into grating an orange. In perfect sync we were melting Trader Joe's bittersweet chocolate, boiling eggs, and chopping vegetables. We washed dishes, filled the dish rack, emptied the dish rack and washed dishes again.
I, mother, sharing with Xan, daughter, my years of kitchen experience. It was ancestral. She wanted to know all that I had to share. It was magical.
Women bonding over food.
It's who we are.
The givers of nourishment.
And this is what it was all for.For our Passover Seder dinner.
There is no other holiday that we celebrate where I feel closer to God. Really. I'm not even a Jew. But I love this holiday with a fervor.
We gathered, read the Hagadah (a version which Michael and a friend wrote for the UU Seders that we used to host), ate the ritual food, drank the wine and Rebekah lead a discussion of what people around the table have down to help create freedom in the world.
With food like this to nourish our taste budsand the ritual of Seder to nourish our souls we all left the table full.

Thanks for being so dear.

2008-04-17T06:12:00.007-05:00

We had some very dear extended family members visit with us last week.Ann and Virginia.
When we first decided to move to Lopez Island we needed a place to park our travel trailer while we looked for a piece of land to purchase. We knew one person on Lopez and she put us in touch with Virginia. We called Virginia and told her our plight. We were going to live in the RV and look for land and we were wondering if she would rent us a patch of her yard for some months. She told us that she would think about it and get back to us. Her response was that she just wanted us to come and not pay rent just cover our electric use. We lived in Virginia's driveway for 7 months. We started a ritual called "Virginia night". Virginia came over once a week for dinner. All our years on Lopez we had "Virginia night" just about every week.
And then there was the summer that Artie spent on Lopez and wouldn't come home. She found shelter and haven living with Ann. She didn't come home for 7 months. Seven months. I am so thankful for Ann for taking her in. We call Ann her 'other mother'.
So what do you do with such precious gifts in your life?
You take them down to the mineral springs and look on in amusement as they try the waters.I just love this picture of Artie and Ann.It felt so natural to be together and I love them dearly. They are supportive and happy about our move to Paducah. It's true friends that can love us in our process.Our time together was brief yet so full!
These generous lovely ladies.
What remarkable sisters.
Thanks for being so dear.

Wise words from a good friend.

2008-04-08T08:42:00.003-05:00

I am thinking that this is one possible summation of my sister-in-law, Rosanne.
I refrain from writing about estate stuff. I really do! I could blast this post with all sorts of unbelievable scenarios and tales of unfathomable behaviour. I kid you not.
I'll bet the few that follow my post thought that it was all resolved by now and we had moved on.

Heck no.

The latest is that Rosanne started this thing called a 'construction proceeding'. A portion of the items that are missing from the personal property are items that were in Audrey's (my deceased mother-in-law) dining room. We have pictures and clear documentation that these things were in the dining room. Rosanne's response to these certain items is that Audrey had bequeathed them to her and that she took them.
Audrey had bequeathed Michael a hutch and a bench from the dining room and clearly stated that Rosanne was to receive "all the remaining dining room furniture". Rosanne claimed that all the paintings, prints, lamps, sculpture, silver flatware, etc... was furniture and so she took it. Everything.
We disagreed with her and so she started this construction proceeding to have the judge determine if dining room furniture was 'everything' or just really dining room furniture.
Rosanne starts this proceeding and before the judge determines a ruling she accompanies her daughter to Italy on her daughter's semester abroad.
The ruling comes in.
The judge determines that dining room furniture is really dining room furniture and Rosanne has to return to the estate all the items that she took out of the dining room.
It took our lawyer 4 weeks to get a call back from Rosanne's lawyer.
It took another 2 weeks for Rosanne's lawyer to get in touch with Rosanne.
Rosanne's lawyer gets in touch with our lawyer and says that Rosanne is in rural Italy (and this is the first time that the beneficiaries have been informed that Rosanne is not around and she is in Italy) and that she took all the items from the dining room and put them into a storage unit where they are safe. Our lawyer and her lawyer agree that Rosanne must have made an inventory of these items before she put them into storage and left the country. "Oh, yes, there must be in inventory. It is the job of the executrix to do things like that."
Our lawyer wants that inventory so that we can get the ball rolling on this end. He feels that we can start comparing her inventory to what we know was in the dining room. Maybe we can come up with some solutions via emails how the siblings are going to go about the task of dividing this stuff up.
You know what Rosanne's response to the inventory question is?
I myself am sitting her laughing in amazement.
The hutspa of this woman is...is...is...I have now words.
Her response is...She made no inventory, and when she gets back in June she will make a list or photograph these items and then send this stuff off to auction.

Not only is there so much personal property missing from the estate...

Rosanne cherry picked the items that she wanted and set them aside never letting her brother's have any opportunity to have any say in whether they would like such item...

Rosanne under duress (and only because the brother's retained a lawyer) had to allow her brother's access to the personal property and put post-its on items that they wanted. These were only the items that they were allowed to view (minus the missing items and minus what she had set aside for herself)...

Rosanne then went about the task of equally dividing up these items. She proceeded to give herself most of the items that her brothers had post-its on and gave her brothers items that they did not want...

And now the items that she can not keep she is willing to send off to auction (at the expense of the estate) so that her brothers can't have them. My take on this is that she feels if she can't have any of these items she'll be damned if they can.

I'm on a roll.

This is why I don't post about estate stuff very often because it is all so wacko and crazy making. And who knows if Rosanne knows about this post and reads it. Mostly I refrain because I don't want stuff to come back and bite me in the butt.
As my dear friend Lance once said to me, "Duck and roll, Victoria, duck and roll".
Wise words from a good friend.

...must be the drugs.

2008-04-06T09:33:00.004-05:00

These are my day lillies. It must be Spring!!! But there is still a pile of snow there and it's one of the few left on the street.
I had my wisdom tooth pulled on Thursday. It want really, really well! I must have been in a lot of people's thoughts for it to have gone so smoothly. I was in the dentist's office for 15 minutes tops. I couldn't believe that it was already over and I wanted to bring the tooth home to show Xan but in NY state it's considered a bio-hazard and I had to leave it behind. I wish I had thought about bringing my camera. Oh well.
I have had no swelling, a minimum of pain, and have eaten nothing but pudding, eggs, and ice cream for three days. Did I mention that I like the drugs? I have slept like a baby. It's going to be hard to give up that Hydrocone stuff.
So I thank everyone who held me dear that day. It worked!! Michael came and sat in the waiting room for me. I was so glad to have him there. He's a keeper (most of the time). Now, except for this gaping whole in the back of my mouth, I'm mostly back to normal and doing normal things.
I MADE A LIST (thinking of you Jane the whole time). This is my weekend's list:

*Make folders & show sheets for Fall shows. DONE.
*Apply to those shows.
*Look for more shows in December. STILL LOOKING.
*Strip and make beds. HALF DONE.
*Clean kitchen.
*Organize buffet. (the stuff on the buffet, not plan a buffet)THINKING ABOUT IT.
*Organize and vacuum living room.
*Find Sugarloaf 2009 show schedule. DONE.
*File 2007 receipts. REALLY GOTTA DO THIS.
*Talk about trip to Hawaii. (yep, thinking about taking a trip in the middle of moving and when no money is coming in...that would be me.)

I know Jane is proud of me. I even started a list of things to do this week. I know now Jane that you are starting to love me. This is my week's list:

*Call St. James Court and see if they can tell me if we got into the show.
*Get Xan's work together and mail out to Lopez. (that's homeschool stuff)
*Call Kentucky Guild with questions about their show.
*Invite folks for Passover.
*Rake outside.

That's it so far.
I"m actually enjoying this Jane...must be the drugs.

...it's ours and we're moving.

2008-04-03T08:08:00.005-05:00

This is my new home!I know that I have posted this picture before but it is the only one I have of our new home. We found out yesterday that our proposal was accepted. We have a new home. We will be paying $10.00 (that is not a typo) for our new home. Yep, ten dollars. Our new home in Paducah, KY (not another typo). We are moving to Paducah, KY.
Artie came home from work with these for me.They are so lovely.
We went out for a celebratory dinner at one of our favorite restaurants here in Saratoga. The owner sent over a bottle of champagne because he heard we were celebrating something. When he found out that we were celebrating the ownership of a ten dollar home he made a joke that we should be buying him the champagne. The girls had non-alcoholic delights and we toasted to our thriftyness, our luck, our 3400 square feet, our own bedrooms, our kitchen/dining room that will be bigger than our entire apartment, our new garden space, Michael's studio, Xan & Victoria's 'Kookie Bar', Artie going off to college, and to us 'The Terras'.
Michael and Xan are leaving in June to head down to Paducah and start the renovations. Artie and I will stay here in Saratoga, get jobs and pack up the house to move. We will send Artie off to the Tom Savini's Special Effects Make-Up program at The Douglas School at the end of September than on I go to Paducah to live in my new house. Artie will not see it all until Thanksgiving. Weird, huh? I told her that I will stick all her stuff in her room and she can deal with it then. I'm such a nice mom.
It's almost official. We don't even know yet who to make the check out to or where to send it.
But we know it's ours and we're moving.

...for all the world to see my secrets.

2008-04-01T07:36:00.002-05:00

This is called a "What's on your mind?" bowl. So that whatever you put in it is what's on it's mind.
What's on your mind?
For me it's the thought of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday. I've been having a hard time with my sinuses and come to find out that the roots of one of my upper wisdom teeth are infected so out that sucker is going to come.
I know that lots of people have a hard time with dentists. I think for most of them it is the sounds of the drilling. For me it is having to open my mouth for long periods of time.
It's the emotional fall out from being an incest survivor. I'm a former tooth grinder and I've graduated down to a jaw clencher. It's the result of way too many years of holding a big secret. A whopper. Don't be too surprised or feel sad for me I've been out of the closet for years. When I first starting talking about my incest and doing therapy it was my whole identity. I think that I walked around my world with a big neon sign over my head that said, "Hey how are ya? I'm an incest survivor!".
Last night I was at a get together with my weaving class and I was telling everyone about not wanting to get my tooth pulled and everyone was assuring me that it was no big deal until I explained to them how it was a big deal for me. One of my weaving friends looks me in the eye and told that she, too, is an incest survivor and understood completely. We understood each other completely in that moment.
Once, years ago, I was at an audition for a commercial. The casting director came out to check on all the women waiting for their turn and started talking about this court case that was happening in NYC. Apparently a woman killed a man after he had broken into her apartment and he was in the process of raping her. The prosecution was claiming that since she had left her window open this man had not broken in. Yeah this is true. The casting director then asked how many women in the room had been raped. There must have been 20 or so of us and about 7 of us raised our hands.
I knew all those women completely in that moment, too. And in case you are wondering, it was my worst audition ever. That women brought up so much shit for me and I was the next one that had to go in there and be excited about whatever stupid product it was that I was there to shamelessly promote.
But I ramble.
I am going to the dentist on Thursday and getting my wisdom tooth pulled. I am hoping that it will give my sinuses a break and in return my sinuses will give me a break. I am also hoping that I don't have to sit there too long with my jaw open for all the world to see my secrets.

I just want to hold her close.

2008-03-24T09:02:00.003-05:00

This is my favorite picture from Paris. I just love sculpture. Give me an ass in marble and I'm in heaven. I love this man and infant. It warms my heart to see masculine affection and care. I was truly moved by this piece.
We have just arrived home from our trip to Pittsburgh. My first reaction is dreary. It was a dreary ride into a dreary looking Pittsburgh. On Thursday Artie flew in and she, Xan, and I drove down to Monessen to see The Douglas School and check out the Tom Savini Special Effects Make Up program there. My word of advice to all my friends with kids younger than mine is "Go see the school that your kid wants to go to"!!! Let me tell you if I was in a situation where I was dropping my dear first born off in this town to go to this school and we had never been there before I would be having nightmares.
We drive into Monessen on Thursday around 11am figuring that it will be fun to have lunch before our 1pm tour. Monessen is an old mill town. A very sad, and sorry ass mill town. We see the school right away it is on the main road and it is about 4 or 5 buildings in a row and is surrounded by vacant buildings and a bunch of nothing. No cafes. No coffee shops. No restaurants. Oh wait there are some pizza places and that's it. As we are driving out of town there is a Subway and a Rite Aid. We must of blinked. We must of been wrong. Where is everything college like? So we turned around and there drove back through the other one way street and found the grocery store. OK that's a good sign.
We decide that we will drive back to the other town that we passed that is across the river. It looks bigger and my wheat allergy makes a pizza place a hard choice. So off we go to the town of Charleroi. Charleroi is bigger but just as sad and sorry. I mean there is no Starbucks. There is no diner. There is a donut shop where we stop and ask if there is a breakfast place that serves eggs. We got the blank stare and the monotone response of, "This is a breakfast place". The blank stare got even blanker when I explained that I can not eat gluten and need some different choices than donuts. We got sent down the road to a place that was so smokey I thought I was going to gag. Get this (and this is true, cross my heart), we get seated in the smallest non-smoking I've ever seen and I head off to the bathroom. The bathroom door is wide open and there is a man washing his hands at the sink and behind him there is a young teenage boy standing at the toilet peeing. I was shocked. I stood there processing all this and then thought it best if I do them the favor of closing the door for them. I did. I waited for my turn and relieved myself of all the pent up pee of picking Artie up at the airport, driving for an hour, looking at the run down downtown of Monessen, standing in a time warp at the donut shop, and walking into a furnace of an eating establishment.
Doesn't this all sound grand? But don't despair. The Douglas School has some fine points and Artie was turned on by what she saw. The school is small, only 300 students and the majority of them are in the special effects make up program. The make up program is doing so well that this year they added The Tom Savini Digital Film Program.
Up the incredibly steep hill is the housing. A developer has bought 7 or 8 houses and they rent them out dormitory style to the kids. We drove up there and looked around.
I brought the camera and took not a single picture. I think that if I had documentation of what I saw I might just wilt away.
Artie says that the town is all the inspiration that any student needs to create fantasy and horror.
On our way out of town we went a different route and found the Starbucks. Thank God.
Artie was turned on. This is the place. This is the primo choice for her to learn the craft that she is into.
I'm sitting here with my head in my hands wondering about it all. I'm thinking of that beautiful sculpture of the man holding the infant. I remember how I used to love watching Michael hold our dear Artie. It seems so long ago at this moment sitting here typing up the hilarity of my experience in Monessen. I want to hold her close. I just want to hold her close.

Such is a cat.

2008-03-17T11:53:00.003-05:00

I am still sick, though not as sick.
This morning Artie was reading everyone their horoscopes. Mine said something about not being ready to do something but to do it anyway with grace. Well, duh!!! We have to drive to Pittsburgh tomorrow for Michael's ceramic conference. I'm sick. I'm not ready to go but will graciously get up in the wee hours of the morning and pack myself and others into our awaiting van. I am here to tell you that I will be doing it all with grace and minimum of grumbling. You see, I've got to go because Artie is flying in on Thursday and we are driving down to The Douglas School and checking out the special effects make-up program that she wants to attend. So, I gotta go: Michael will be at the conference, Artie will be flying in and someone has to get her to the school. Poor Xan I don't think that we will be able to do all the things that we wanted in Pittsburgh. But I am sure that there will be HBO and we will do half-day adventures. I really want to go to the Andy Warhol Museum.
On another note....my cat Ethel.
Ethel has been out of sorts all week. Michael and I switched sides of the beds for the week because I have been so sick and need to get up often at night. It's amazing how a hacking cough will enliven you. Ethel jumps up on the bed and looks at me and looks at Michael and gives us a look of Why? Why? Why?. Poor Kitty she is pretty perturbed. She is a funny cat (like most) and has her places in the house that she likes you to pet her. Like on the desk beside this computer, in the bathroom sink (no joke), while she is eating (weird but true), and on my side of the bed. But Dad is there now not Mom and she's taking the change like a true cat. Not well. She won't even let me pet her on the wrong side of the bed, the one I am on now. Oh well, by the time she catches up to the change I will be back on the other side waiting for her nuzzles.
Such is a cat.

The sick...I could do without.

2008-03-13T18:12:00.002-05:00

My house has been very quiet for the past few days.
No shouts of joy.
No loud whines of homeschool protest.
No unruly bickering between the girls.
No harsh words to the kitties to stop whatever mischievous behavior they are up to.
Oh no...we have all been as quiet as church mice. We are all sick with really crummy sore throat chest colds. We have been talking in whispers at best.
It's lovely...the quiet.
The sick...I could do without.

...liked the weather this week all that much either.

2008-03-10T07:07:00.006-05:00

This is it. This is what the front of my house looks like. Can you see all that water? How can you blame me for not posting all week? I've been too busy wading to my van.And this really how I've been feeling all week. Dreary. Dreary. Dreary.But the sun is out now. I can feel the change of season coming on. So can the cats, they've been a little friskier all weekend. As I sit here typing away I can hear birdsong outside the window. Birdsong, sun, snow, still have patches of 4 inch thick ice on my sidewalk...what's wrong with this picture? In my head I'm humming that old kid's show song, "One of these things is not like the other. One of these things just doesn't belong..." But in my case it's two of these things...
To celebrate my brightening spirits I will tell you (what I think anyway) is a charming story.
I'll start off with pillows. Does anyone ever go through the phase of needing to change your pillows? Well, I've been going through my phase for about a year now. It seems that no matter what type of pillow I buy it doesn't seem comfortable and I'm not getting a truly good nights rest. I'm chalking it up to pre-menapause because I'm at a loss.
Yesterday Michael and I went out and did some errands. He stood there chuckling at the counter as I bought yet another pillow. This one is fake down. I have never liked the feel of a down pillow but I'm getting desperate. So we get home and after doing the household chores I want to lie down and test out my pillow. I amble into the studio where Michael is working on this really big head. He is making it as an example for a sculpting class that he teaches. He's got it on his round-about thingy and asking me how I like it from this perspective and that perspective. He wants feedback about the face's expression so I tell him that I think his work will be stronger if he commits to an expression. Really truly commits. Many times he purposefully makes his work ambiguous and I have felt for a while that he should play with really going for an emotional expression. So I told him my opinion and off I go to commune with my new pillow.
I fell asleep. Must have liked the pillow enough (which I do and did). When I wake up I meander into the studio and this is what I find.I guess he hasn't really liked the weather this week all that much either.

...a bigger sense of humor and a stronger back.

2008-03-03T08:43:00.002-05:00

My camera shall be coming home this week. I hope the folks over at Kodak gave him a spa treatment and he feels refreshed and ready to snap away.
I've missed my camera.
Yesterday Michael and I went for a walk around our neighborhood to see how all the snow looked. We have got so much snow.
Let me describe my sidewalk to you.
We live on a corner (Oak & Elm). I live in the tree streets part of town.
We have alternate side parking and every morning we get up and move the van at 8am (except for Mondays which we sleep in). For some reason no matter what side of the street you have to park on that day all the snow plows dump the entire streets snow on the corner of Oak Street right in front of my house. Right on top of my daylillies. Every time they sprout their wee heads in May or June I am astonished to see them alive after being bombarded with tons of road salt for months on end.
Right now the snow bank on our Oak Street corner is about 6'wide and about 5'6" tall. I know the height well because it is as tall as me. I am right cranky about this. I tell you, if it snows again I will not be able to shovel onto our winter residence outside. I am not tall enough to heap it any higher. I am going to be might cranky!!!
We have a shovel wide narrow walkway between this monolith of snow and our house. Depending on the weather this narrow walkway varies between bumpy and treacherous. It's because our roof is slanted toward that side and all the snow falls off onto the sidewalk and if we are not 'johnny on the spot' and get to it right away sometimes it will freeze in place like it did two weeks ago. At the moment I feel like we are all hobbits going to and fro.
When I am re-united with my beloved camera I will take a picture and you can decide how much I am exaggerating.
I am so thankful that I am having the good sense of leaving this part of the country. I bequeath my winter snow pile to someone with a bigger sense of humor and a stronger back.

Again.

2008-02-27T09:19:00.004-05:00

Look out my window with me.
It is snowing. Again.
Which means we have to shovel. Again.
Piles of snow will be slipping down our slate roof. Again.
Roof snow will be compacted into wet heavy heights. Again.
Sometimes beauty is spontaneous and happenstance.
Sometimes it is found in the most unusual of places.
Most of the time it's little sibling, hard work, is trailing behind with a shovel scooping up all the slush and ice that beauty forgot and has discarded like a once loved teddy bear.
Beauty is moving on to the next moment.
I am going to put on my winter boots. Again.

...not always so nice.

2008-02-26T08:15:00.002-05:00

I do have a petty side.
Yesterday was someone's birthday.
And my wish for this person was that they find a wirey, grey hair on their chin.
With all my heart I hope that they felt old.
I truly hope that some part of their day was miserable.
I won't name this person for my petty name-calls are crass and cruel.
I just wanted you all to know that I'm not always so nice.

Yeah, that's what I need.

2008-02-13T11:09:00.005-05:00

I kid you not...my sinuses are constipated. Really constipated.
Tomorrow we are off to our big wholesale show in Philadelphia. It will be nice to see our artist friends and to do some catching up with folk. On Tuesday we will be going to the Rodin Museum. Every year we say we are going and then we don't. This year...we are going.
It snowed last night and we woke up to freezing rain. Yuck...Xan and I had to shovel. I would have taken some pictures but our camera broke. I spent a long while on the phone with a Kodak customer service rep. who did not speak english very well. Maybe I will never get the camera back after I send it out for repairs.
I'm off to busily get ready for our early morning take-off. Better yet I am going to go and make hot chocolate.
Just like in this picture from our trip to Paris. Yeah...that's what I need.

...www.paducaharts.com.

2008-02-08T10:39:00.000-05:00

This is a piece that I wrote for someone about my experience in Paducah...
I am Victoria Terra. My husband, Michael Terra, is a sculptural ceramicist. We have lived part time on Lopez Island in WA State and part time in Saratoga Springs, NY since 1999. We make our living by selling Michael’s ceramic art at art shows. It has been our intention to live on Lopez full time but we realize that the way we make our income is not a good way for us to ‘make it’ on our beloved island at this time. We need time to grow Michael’s ceramic business to a point where we don’t have to travel as much as we do. We don’t resonate with Saratoga Springs and the family need that brought us here has come to an end so… we are in the market to move.
An artist friend of ours from San Francisco told us about the Artist Relocation Program (ARP) in Paducah, KY. We were intrigued and looked into the city’s incentives for artists. Here is what they offer for artists wanting to move into Lowertown (their historic arts district):
• Lowertown is dual zoned for commercial and residential use. This enables residents to have gallery/studio, restaurant/ café, etc. and living space all under one roof.
• 100% financing for purchase and rehabilitation of an existing structure or the building of a brand new structure.
• Basic loan package is 7% - 30yr. fixed rate up to 300% of appraised value.
• Free lots for new construction as available.
• City will pay up to $2500 for architectural services or other professional fees.
• National marketing of Lowertown Arts District and Paducah.
In our exploration we found other ARPs in the Midwest and Northeast. It became quite clear to us that Paducah’s program is the ‘mother’ of them all. It was started in 2000 and the city is committed to marketing its Arts District.
Michael and I decided to take a trip down there to ‘kick the tires’. We felt that the location was a good fit for us. Paducah is closer to most of the urban cities of our client base than either place that we live in now.
We were in Paducah for all of 2 full days and I walked away with a smile on my face. What a wonderful group of people (and not just the artists that we met). We stayed with Bill & Patience Renzulli in a room that they rent in their house. They couldn’t have been more hospitable to us. Bill and Patience are one of the first artists to have moved into Lowertown. They hosted a dinner party for us on our second night there and invited 4 other couples that live/work in the neighborhood. We had a delightful time full of the sense of support and community. At the end of the evening as we are all saying our good-byes, we were being hugged and given encouragement to come and live with these fine folks. Every person that I met invited me to come and make my home in Paducah; from the cashier at Krogers, to the owner of the coffee shop, to the waiter at the Mexican restaurant. Everyone was incredibly nice!
We sat in Paducah Bank with Larry Rudolph (the VP that works with the artists getting loans) and Monica Bilak (the representative for the ARP) and we heard all about the plans for the city. They are going to build a marina on the Ohio River, a River Heritage Museum, a convention center, and a new hotel complex. The city is revitalizing its downtown and it is going to be the home of the Paducah School of the Arts. There is a huge performing arts center, The Carson Center. My feeling is that this town is on the verge of exponential growth.
The only downside for us is that we are now on the second/third-ish wave of growth in Lowertown. The first wave of artists have come in and done beautiful renovations to old Victorians. The price of these beauties is out of our budget but there are still some ‘diamonds in the rough’ to be had. We looked at so many properties that my head is still spinning.
After being home for a week we have decided to make the move into Lowertown. Everything and everyone just felt ‘right’. So, we are going to look no further and my husband is busily putting together a proposal to the city for a house that we are very interested in.
I must mention here that it was made abundantly clear to us by many of the artists living there and by town officials that Paducah is not the place for a working artist to come and think that they are going to set up a gallery/studio in Lowertown and hunker back and live off of selling their artwork out their front door. Don’t get me wrong, there are many galleries that are doing well there. But if an artist walks in and thinks that they can have little savings to open up shop and solely depend on that for their income they are sadly mistaken. There are a percentage of artists that have come and gone solely for that reason. Luckily for us our income is primarily based on our traveling to art shows peppered with some wholesale accounts and gallery representation. We have every intention of opening up our own gallery/studio in Lowertown for another ‘small’ income stream. Hopefully we are not walking into this project with allusions of grandeur.
Go figure, I’m moving to Kentucky. I will now have lived in every time zone in the United States.
To find out more about the Paducah Artists Relocation Program go to their website at www.paducaharts.com.

A bit nerve racking isn't it?

2008-02-06T23:34:00.000-05:00

I feel that I should clarify for everyone that this is NOT our house....yet. First we have to let the planning department know that we are officially making a proposal for the house. Then the planning department puts an add in paper and posts a sign up in front of the house that they are open to receiving proposals on that property. All of this comes with some sort of time/date time line.
So...that means that when the time comes for our proposal to go before the "committee" that reviews it and says, "Yay or Nay.", we could be one of several wanting this property.
A bit nerve racking isn't it?

Yeah, this is my dream house.

2008-02-05T20:01:00.000-05:00

This is it. I have decided that we are moving to Paducah. We are making a proposal to the city for this lovely piece of real estate. I will write more later.
Still have a crummy cold..it's really cramping my style!
Yeah...this is my dream house.

Bon Voyage.

2008-01-28T08:26:00.000-05:00

I've been sick with a crummy cold.
It's a 'I think that sitting on the couch watching movies is about my speed' sick.
On Friday I didn't have it in me to homeschool Xan. Nor did Xan want to homeschool because she woke up much more snorgally than myself. (I'm pretty sure that snorgally is a made up word.) I wanted to have some sort of educational experience and not just totally blow the whole day off.
Let's see, there was 'Unsolved Mysteries' (my personal favorite for when I am sick) but Xan doesn't like to watch that. I didn't want to watch "Let's be a Super Model" at least I knew it was going to be as ridiculous as the title. Or 'Wife Swap', doesn't that sound like a winner? Then we remembered that we had 'SICKO' that we got in Netflix ages ago (yes we are behind on our Netflix viewing).
"That's the ticket!" I thought. We could watch about the American Health Care System while we are sick and it's educational.
By the way it's a great documentary.
We watched all the special features and we spent time online learning how you can immigrate to New Zealand, Australia, and Canada. Sorry that England really isn't open these days. In the special features there is a segment about Norway.
Norway has no death penalty and no life sentences in it's prison system. The longest that someone can spend in jail is 21 years. Norway has the lowest murder rate in the world. Hhhmmmm, Norway? What if we moved to Norway?
Wouldn't it be great to live in a place that is progressive, has health care for all, and either free or subsidized education? I'm thinkin' so. But could I live with myself for leaving this problem of the United States instead of trying to be part of the solution? I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin', I'm thinkin' that I'm thinkin' way too much these days.
Washington state is the most progressive place that I have lived in the US. The state health care is excellent, the homeschool rules are above and beyond the friendliest I've come across (a homeschool child can participate as much or as little in Public School as they choose), and WA state is very environmentally conscious.
So, why am I thinking about not moving back there for a while? Again I'm doing too much thinkin'.
In the past few weeks I have come across many Artist Housing and Artist Relocation Programs (not to mention that New Zealand and Australia would welcome us) and I'm going to spend some time writing about what I'm thinkin' and what I'm learning about our next adventure.
Tomorrow morning Michael and I are flying into Nashville and driving to Paducah, KY for the first of our "kick the tires" tour. Now when I write 'Paducah, KY' there is a woman who lives there that has 'google alerts' set up for 'Paducah, KY'. I got so many comments on my post about feeling scared about the Christian homeschool scene there. Frankly, I am embarrassed because for years I've had a very small blogger community and when I wrote that post I was writing to them and it turned out that I shared my feelings with a lot more people than I had intended. I'm not going to take back or apologize for what I said. Anybody who knows me knows about my Christian hang-ups. I am admittedly embarrassed though. But not enough to censure myself in the future.
If I get a chance I will write from Paducah. If not you will hear from me next weekend.
Bon Voyage.

Wouldn't it just be easier?

2008-01-24T19:40:00.000-05:00

We stood under the florescent lights of the big box pet store.
He with his pupils so dilated from the drops the eye doctor put in them. Wearing my blue sunglasses with the groovy metal dots on the sides. Wearing my sunglasses even though the sun ha set already and it's about 10 degrees outside.
I with the all natural, no chemical anything, get rid of the fleas cat medicine in my hands.
I had to read all the ingredients to him. He couldn't see a damn thing.
"No not that one, it won't work", he says emphatically. And believe me my husband knows emphatic.
"But she had such a terrible reaction to the last flea medicine we gave her. I don't want to do that to any of us again", I answer back. And believe me the last time we gave Ethel flea medicine we might as well of sprinkled Angel Dust in her cat food. She did not have a good trip.
I read all the labels to him and he picks out one that we did not use last time and he says very convincingly (and he can be very f***ing convincing), "This is not the chemical we used last time and after it happened I went on line and did some research. This is the one to use. This all natural stuff will not kill fleas and won't work."
"Alright we will use this one."
So, here I am almost 24 hrs. after I gave her the medicine. Another bad trip for my precious baby. Michael is off in Virginia at a show. The girls and I got hardly any sleep last night. This trip is lasting way longer than the last one. I called the vet and since she's eating and drinking she feels that we should just ride it out. All day long I have been on edge and hyper sensitive.
Damn! Damn! Damn!
Sometimes I wish that no one was allowed to make any of the choices except for me.
Wouldn't it just be easier?

...a layer of dust.

2008-01-22T08:34:00.000-05:00

I love a city with good (to me anyway) public art. I truly like Philadelphia for it's art. New York City takes care with its art in Central Park. Amsterdam is a cherished place (I love the architecture there and because this is my blog I will call that public art too). I like Lancaster, PA because I am a sucker for 'turn of the century' brick buildings. London has some very impressive sculptures and monuments. Cairo doesn't have much but it is exotic and I like it there. But, Paris has ART. Sculptures everywhere for your eyes to feast on. Oh I forgot Washington, DC. Poor Capital (or is it Capitol?) she's a grand city with some very impressive public art.
But, Paris has ART...There is art on the way to the Metro...At the end of the pavilion that houses that flower market...On the side of a building...As you stroll through the park (by the way, there was some guide book that I read that said that Paris did not have many public parks, they were wrong!)...On the way to the restaurant supply store...And yet another park that Paris supposedly does not have...
If you look up you might find this...I am an aesthetic person. I like my surrounding to please my eye. I love Lopez for that reason. I could ride around Lopez everyday of my life and never get bored with the scenery. I have a favorite hill just above the library that when you are at the top you can see Fisherman Bay and beyond into the Sound. I love that view. I think that I could walk Paris for everyday of my life and never get bored with the aesthetic details of that city.
So why doesn't my house feel like an aesthetic paradise? Why is there always a pile of stuff (junk) somewhere on a porch or in the yard? Why does the inside always look like a whirlwind of dishes and chaos.
I guess it is because I am out there wandering the streets of the world with my mind elsewhere feeling the weather all the while my vacuum accumulates nothing but a layer of dust.

Breath Victoria. Breath Victoria.

2008-01-20T06:16:00.000-05:00

Sometimes you meet someone standing in line at the supermarket or you talk to someone on the phone in some customer service capacity and you think that it would be great to get to know them. That is how I feel about Monica who is in the planning department office in Paducah, Kentucky.
Monica is the contact person for the Artist Relocation Program there. We've talked about 4 or 5 times now and I'm wondering if she will be the only person that I can relate to there. Monica has been so gracious handling my very frank questions about religion (YES, I know it's the bible belt!), people, school, homeschooling, organic produce, and anything that pops into my head.
"We are Unitarian Universalists and I'm not finding a congregation there. Do you know if there is one?" I ask bluntly. All the while thinking this woman is going to black-ball us even before we get there.
"No there isn't. We had that problem too when we were deciding to move here." she answered so matter of factly.
Here's the deal. According to what we hear and the people that we have talked to down there is that you may not want to live in Kentucky but you want to live in Paducah.
The question is, do I want to live in Paducah?
There are other artist relocation programs. Another one that I am considering is in Cumberland, MD. They do not offer as great a financial package but they have lots of tax bennies. There is also a culinary school there. That would be great for Xan.
Last night I called the contact person for the Kentucky Home Educators Association.
"I am going to be frank and ask you if there are any homeschool groups in Paducah that are not christian based," I asked mustering up the courage because I was afraid I was really going to offend this woman.
"Oh, honey this is the bible belt dear. Of course they are all christian. I don't know of any group in Paducah that is not christian based," she sweetly answered.
Breath Victoria. Breath Victora.
She goes on to tell me that she has spoken there several times and that the group doesn't seem to be overly christian. They do not require you to sign a document of faith like some other groups. A DOCUMENT OF FAITH!!! I gasped. I never knew that groups did that. I am even starting to hyperventilate as I write this.
I am going to go and kick the tires that's all. I am not going to go prejudge the situation. I can live surrounded by christians. (Can you hear me repeating this over and over in my head?)
The homeschool thing has thrown me for a loop. And I don't even have all the information yet.
There must be at leat one other non-christian homeschooling household in Paducah, right? Maybe in my fantasy of fantasies there will be 5 non-christian homeschooling families.
Breath Victoria. Breath Victoria.

...dream house in Paducah, Kentucky?

2008-01-19T06:48:00.000-05:00

I am having one those 4am thinks. Just like the ones I've been having all week.
We got back last night. On our way back from Paris we missed our connection in Frankfurt, Germany. Lufthansa put us up in a very militarialistic (if there is even such a word?) hotel and we wandered about Frankfurt for a few hours. We attempted to cross the river Meine on a pedestrian bridge but my fear of heights took over (and I knew it would be worse after the beer) so we stayed on whatever side of the river we were on and went to a real tourist house of beer and got schnockerd on one really big glass of beer each.
Now I'm home and sitting in the cold dark doing email stuff and catching up with life.
Mostly this morning I've been looking at real estate. Yeah, real estate.
I am exhilarated and scared to death.
On the morning of our Bon Voyage to Gay Pareeee I was on the computer booking Michael and I some flights to Paducah, Kentucky. Oh, you read that right. I am willingly trekking to Kentucky.
Back track a moment...
In 1993 I left Tucson, AZ because of a love, a dream, for Lopez Island. We couldn't afford a house there so we bought land. We packed up all our cherished items and U-hauled them out to the island and the day they arrived we unpacked them into a storage unit. They are still there. The items of my life that have such sentimental meaning. The family heirlooms, paintings from my childhood, the dining room table. I have just always referred to is as "my stuff". I use to go to storage periodically and stand there and weep with loss over not being to fit 'my stuff' in our small dome-home.
Those first years on Lopez, as wonderful and as much as I love it there, were so very hard. We were broke, on Welfare, and eventually declared bankruptcy just so we could survive. Those were dark years of waking up crying and going to bed crying. It truly is a wonder that Michael and I are still married after living with all that stress. But we prevailed. We have a small dome-home that Michael designed and built himself. We had enough stamina to pay off our land. It's now mine, and Mother Earth's of course.
But I got to thinking. And this was even before all those early morning 'thinks'. I've been thinking that I want a house. Nothing new to anyone in my family. I want a house with a dining room and a guest bedroom and room for 'my stuff'. I want to live with 'my stuff'. I want to have room for parties and host visiting artists or professors or whatever.
So I said what I had been thinking out loud over christmas.
"What if when we sell our house in Saratoga we do something like buy a property in Paducah, KY (I'll get to "Hello, why Paducah?!" in a minute) and live there in house that we can purchase outright with the money from the sale of the Saratoga house and build up Michael as an artist more before we head back to Lopez?"
I said it and to my shock everyone in the family thinks that it is a good idea.
Paducah, KY is a place that a fellow artist told us about last Fall. This town is offering artists the opportunity to buy buildings in what is called "Lowertown" and make them into artist studios, galleries, and homes. We could buy a 3000 sq. ft. brick Victorian for around $100,000. The program is called 'The Artist Relocation Program'. They offer 100% financing for the price of the building and any rehab that needs to be done. The offer $2,500 in architect fees. Paducah is 2 hours from Nashville and 2 1/2 hours from St. Louis. It's a good location for our business and travellig to art shows. It's right on the Ohio River and the it's a tourist stop for the river boats that cruise up and down. There is some big time quilt museum there. Maybe my dream house if there.
We are thinking that by moving to Paducah it will give us the time that we need to grow our ceramic business to the point that we don't have to travel to so many art shows. And that would make living on Lopez easier.
We are looking for a building that has enough room for a studio, a mother-in-law apartment for my mom, and some sort of cafe/cookie bar for Xan and I start to a business together. All in Paducah, Kentucky.
You say something out loud to the Universe and she takes it and runs. This idea has certainly snow-balled into a serious consideration.
In two weeks I am flying into Nashville with Michael and we are renting a car to drive to Paducah. We will be checking out the scene and seeing if we like it there.
Michael calls it "kicking the tires" and he is very clear that this is all my choice. He is quite clear that we ended in Saratoga because of his needs and now it is my turn to do something for my needs. I get to start the paragraph for this chapter.
Not move back to Lopez after dreaming of nothing else for 8 years?
Shit, what if I do find my dream house in Paducah, Kentucky?

I'm thinking crepes for breakfast.

2008-01-14T02:42:00.000-05:00

It is amazing how many things you can think about between the hours of 1am and 4am. I've has lots of early morning 'thinks' this week. Oh well, so much for the homeopathic jet-lag remedy. Xan was saying yesterday when everyone asks her about her trip to Paris she will look at them sleepy eyed and say, "(Yawn) Did I see Paris?"
I agree with Annalise, Paris is a beautiful city. I have been to many cities in my lifetime. London, Edinburgh, Cairo, Madrid, Malmo, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Los Angeles, New York, Seattle... It has struck me here that because the streets are narrow and curved I don't get the sense of being in a big place. It's not like being in New York where everything is set up like a grid and you can see all the way down Broadway or Fifth Avenue. The color of Paris is beige. All the building are built out ot beige stone. I was surprised by that. I don't know what I was expecting but I guess it wasn't beige. I was struck by how grey Madrid was when I was there. I was always struck by how 'tall' New York is when I lived there. I am struck by Paris' beigeness.
Yesterday we walked past the French Judicial building. I now know exactly what the US Supreme Court building was modelled after. The Supreme Court building is so lovely to me. I have been thinking about all of our great buildings in the US and where their influence comes from. I am walking around here thinking this and suddenly everything I see here I see imitated at home. When walking along the Seine, Xan and I comment that the building we see reminds us of this beautiful old Railroad building that is in Albany, NY. I was thinking that the Parliament (sp?) building in London is a very similiar landscape to this row of buildings that are near Notre Dame. I wonder what was built first? And both built right along the river.
For the past two days we have been over at Notre Dame. Not specifically to see the church (which we did) but to see first the flower market and then the exotic bird market. Notre Dame is a stunning piece of architecture. We walked around inside and out. Imagine being some pure shlub in the 1400's wandering around and you come upon something like Notre Dame. You live in a mud hut and here is this gargantuan monolithic structure full of sculptures and stain glass. Imagine seeing something like that for the first time and it is all built in the the name of a god. Well, The God. How many people got converted this way? I felt the same way when I went to Glastonbary Abbey in England. Oh the poor shlubs.
Today we are off the Louvre. Xan has a list of things we want to see so we will go on a 'treasure hunt'.
I'm thinking crepes for breakfast.

Au Revoir my friends...

2008-01-12T03:43:00.000-05:00

I think that it is a pretty safe bet to assume that Annalise is not awake every morning from 3am to 5am. I awake and think "Jeeze I wonder what Annalise is doing right now? Ah, sleeping like all good people in this part of the world are. Just like I should be." Alas I am not.
I am having a wonderful time. In the future when people tell that the French are rude and not very nice I will have to disagree with them. I speak no French and even without Michael to interpret I am finding the people here to be warm and charming.
Yesterday we took a tour of Le Cordon Bleu. Very small school for the all the hype. We got to spend a few minutes watching some classes. It was very cool to hear the master chef speak in the french and the interpreter to translate in english and the students to talk amoungst themselves in a variety of languages. We found a groovy chocolate shop where Michael and I bought some chocolate raisins that had been soaked in armangac. They were so tasty! Xan got a variety of chocolates and we have been taste testing them. I (not on purpose) found Pierre Hermes, a chocolate and macaron store. Macarons are these merengue cookies that have a creamy filling. A kilo costs 74 euros (yes, that's a lot!) and we bought three of them. A chestnut, a rose petal, and an olive oil one. We sat in the buffet at the Eiffel Tower overlooking the Seine and at our very decadent Pierrre Hermes macarons. I loved them all for their exotic and unusual tastes and textures. Xan did not like any of them and Michael likes the macarons that do not having any filling better than these chick litte wonders. We were in the store and people were buying huge boxes of them. There are even truffle flavors.
Today we are off to the flower market and I am being reminded that we better motivate.
Au Revoir my friends....

Kiss, kiss until later.

2008-01-10T07:44:00.000-05:00

SSSHHHH! Everyone is asleep.
I must say that I've tried to get a blog in for the past two days but we were too busy packing and running around taking care of all our last minute errands.
I'm in Paris.
Did you hear?
I'm in Paris.
We are in our apartment. Which I must say is the size of a postage stamp and cute as all hell. The owners met us here this morning after our night flight and handed us croissants (ooohhh they were good, but I had only 1 bite because I really can't do the gluten these days) and the keys. The wife, Sandy, is Canadian and a voice-over artist.
As I sit here on a wee stool typing, Xan is in the tiny little roll-away sleeping but a few feet away from us. My feet are cold. I'm embarrassed to say that I've turned the heat almost all the way up and it's still chilly in here. Welcome to Paris! Xan looks so sweet sleeping in Paris. I can see her auburn dyed head peeping out of the red wool blanket. By the way, I've got to find another blanket for me because I awoke from my nap with cold feet. But I can't get to the armour because Xan's tiny little roll away bed is in the way. Meaning...I can't unpack or nothin'.
I want these lay abouts to wake up so that we can go the market that Sandy told us about this morning. She says they have regional fruits and vegetable and do all sorts of samples. SAMPLES. I love samples. And I really think I'm going to love SAMPLES in Paris. Why won't they wake up?
So, here I am on day one of Xan's 'Coming of Age' trip. I will try and post everyday and write about all the tastes and sounds. Our goal is to photograph every meal that we eat. Alas I won't be able to post pictures until we get home.
Today as we took the subway to get to our apartment I noticed that the foot traffic was so fast. People were movin' man! It was like one big ant farm.
Also, we got in at 6am and it was pitch dark. We got to the apartment at 9am and the sun still hadn't come out. Very dark and grey here so far.
I am tickled by the fact that I am in the same (or pretty damn close to it) as Annalise. I always think of her eating lunch while I eat breakfast and I'm sleeping while she is eating her breakfast. Now dear Annalise we can be eating at the same time and starting our days in unison. Just thinkin' and being kinda giddy from 3 hours of sleep.
We used a homeopathic rememdy "No Jet-Lag". I think that so far it's great.
Kiss, Kiss until later.

Shall we take a ride?

2008-01-07T09:42:00.000-05:00

I hope that all my friends had some joyous holidays.
I wish you all a warm and hunker-down winter full of hot soup and roasted root vegetables.
Food is always on my mind. You too?
Anybody who knows me (or has seen me) knows that I am a large woman. My children tell me that I have a Goddess figure. For me being over weight is sort of a triumph. I grew up with the constance influence that the only thing a woman has to offer is her looks. In high school I was thin. Believe me not before that! I was a chubby kid right up until middle school. Magically I got taller and thinner. "Wow!" I thought, "I am acceptable now. I can fit in."
What a load of crock that was.
A few years into high school and I was bulemic. When I see pictures of me in my high school year book I look puffy and unwell. My mother would tell me stories of all the laxatives that she had taken in her lifetime to loose weight. I've worshipped the porcelain queen more than any bad frat boy I know. I was bulemic from the middle of high school until I was 25. It was such a part of who I was. I was so convinced that my total worth was the figure that I carried.
Over the years that I have gone from a size 6 to a size 20 (and I have no idea how much I weigh) I have learned that people are able to like me for me not my body image. It's been a liberating experience to be liked at size 14 and still be liked at size 20.
Lately I have been feeling fat. Over Christmas I bought my first size 20. Is that my wake up call? Have I put on too much weight, I think so friends. I feel winded too easily, I think. I think that it is time to get more exercise and start cutting out some fats. So this year I want to get into shape. Not necessarily loose weight but to exercise more and slow down, cook my own meals (do that anyway), and truly appreciate what I am eating.
My coming out of winter, out of hibernation, resolution is to make my blog more personal. To truly share what I am feeling and to make intimate connections with my friends. I am a very internal creature. I share more intimacies with myself than any other human. I don't feel lonely just not connected to others. My childhood was sad and truamatic and my defense was to be with myself and share my feelings with me. It's time for me to break yet another cycle of my past.
I've spent weeks having a personal discussion with myself about who I am and what I want. It's time to share all that is going on with me with all my friends.
So be prepared, I want to talk about my marriage, my weight, my politics, and my life. I want to share this one time trip as ME with some people other than myself.
Shall we take a ride?

Ah, home.

2007-12-18T08:52:00.000-05:00

Where have I been in the last six weeks? Let's see: Hartford, CT; Gaithersburg, MD; Washington, DC; Lancaster, PA; Westfield, NJ; a weekend at home; and then onto Morristown, NJ.
We have celebrated Xan's 13th birthday, had a Hannukah party (any excuse to eat latkes), got very surprised by the 'coolness' of downtown Lancaster, Xan took a willow branch making furniture workshop and made a friend a table, got a ticket for a headlight being out (and now the other one is out---go figure!); we have home-schooled a lot in the car, and Michael's back has gone out and he came down to Morristown anyway. Which brings me to the almost present.
We had the big family pow-wow "does he or doesn't he come to Morristown". We need this show. We need the money. He is the one who always stablizes the panels and focuses the lights. So we need him for that. So we book a last minute hotel so that we can be near the show instead of staying about 40 minutes away with our dear friends. He comes. We leave on Thursday morning and about 15 miles into our drive we hit the snow storm that we thought we would drive through later on in our journey. The drive that takes us 3 hours took us 7 and we arrive just in time to unload the car (which had become my highest priority of the day). We go to the hotel which turns out not to be as groovy as I thought a La Quinta owned property should be. But we are whupped and so we go with it. Next day we do that which I hate to do...We set up on the day that we are open for business and this time we are open until 8pm. We send Michael back to the hotel and stood around waiting for the crowd to show up. We waiting all weekend. So very disappointing for our last show of the year and one needs the money. Michael stayed in the hotel all weekend. Xan and I worked the show and we did breakdown all by ourselves. Xan was fabulous.
Sunday night after breakdown found us standing in the PathMark down the street from the hotel in the frozen foods section picking out our most favorite delicacies that we can micro-wave. We were tired and brain dead by that point. I got Amy's Kitchen enchiladas. Xan got mashed potatoes and Tabatchnick's soup. We got Michael a chicken pot pie. We get back to the hotel in the ice storm and hunker in for a really poor movie on HBO "Deck The Halls" with Mathew Broderick and Danny DeVito and eat our dinners. By then it was 9.
I drove us all back home yesterday. We unloaded the back seat (just our personal stuff) and I got Xan off to voice lessons and chorus rehearsal. I went off to the post office and then to the grocery store. Came home and made a quick hot&sour soup and then off to pick up Xan and took her with me for my weaving class' 'pie night' to see all the projects finished (not mine!) and then we left there and went to the movie store and got "Meet the Robinsons" and "Hairspray".
We hunker down with hot&sour soup and "Meet the Robinsons".
Ah, home.
Where the plowed snow piles are frozen and shining.
Where our sidewalk is a speed-skaters dream.
Where the powdery gently gusts of snow flurries are starting right outside my window.
Ah, home.

...the taste of words on my tongue.

2007-12-06T09:18:00.001-05:00

I am astounded by how many wonderful writers are out there blogging.
Jane is just about the most heartfelt writer I know.
J writes with such intelligence.
Annalise writes with a great sense of humor.
Shauna creates pictures before my eyes and I can practically taste the food she writes about.
Just to mention a few of my favorites.
Sometimes I surf and I'm blown away by words. Words. Words.
I am fed by the taste of words on my tongue.

...continue to spread your joy.

2007-12-04T07:47:00.000-05:00

Last weekend was our fourth show in a row in four weekends.
Note to self (just like I do every year at this time): Do not book four shows in four weekends in a row!!!
I have lots to blog about but I need to take this time to write about Bubba.
A member of my tribe has been lost.
We do a lot of shows with a promoter called Sugarloaf. Nice promotion company and I like the shows. Over the past few years we have become part of the community. Every show we are at we share stories, break bread, stand around and kibbitz, and help out when a fellow artist needs to take a break (i.e. pee).
This past weekend we were not a Sugarloaf show but at a show by a little tyrant I call, "Little Dickie" (ands that's another story). A bunch of the artists are fellow Sugarloafians and we all do our thing of tribe like behaviors (yes, the good and the bad) and Sunday one of us gets the call that Bubba, who is in Columbus, Ohio at another show, was found dead in his hotel room. Xan heard it and came and told Michael and I.
I must admit that my first thought was, "Thank God he didn't die in a car accident". There are so many of us that get in car accidents.
I tear up. We have lost Bubba. Bubba was such a presence at shows. He was a very tall, very round bellied fellow who sold leather stuff. He was always walking around bellowing 'hello's and 'how are ya's to everyone as he came by your booth. He was always cheerful and present with people.
I didn't hang out with him. Whenever I saw him I would say 'hello' and try and match his beauty with my voice.
Bubba has/had a son (5 kids really). The son that he brought to shows is mentally challenged. He is around 30 or so and very shy. I talked to a friend yesterday (who called to see if we had heard) and she told me that Nathan, Bubba's son, once got she and a bunch of women artists to go and play lazer tag with him. He asked each one individually and they all found out about each other once they got there. "Must have been about 10 of us", she told me. What a crack up. I know Nathan because he loves 'Middle Earth Studios' which is a children's theater that comes to the shows for kid entertainment. We have set up near them at some shows and Nathan is at every theater performance. Of course, Xan knows him well because she likes 'Middle Earth' too.
Next weekend there is a Sugarloaf show in Chantilly, VA. We won't be at that one. I know that there will be something done in Bubba's honor. I'm sorry we will miss it.

Hail to Bubba. Thanks for being a bright aura among us. Sorry you had to leave. You will be missed but I promise you this:
I will always strive to greet people at shows with the same enthusiasm that you did. I will always do this in your honor so that a part of you will live on as I continue to spread your joy.

How could we resist a tour of this?

2007-11-24T08:03:00.000-05:00

This one is a quickie because we have to get ready to go to work. Well, first we have to stop at the post office (stamps for a mailing for our next show) and then off to the train station (dropping Artie off so that she can get back to Saratoga for work).
On Monday and Tuesday we took a bunch of tours in D.C. All thanks to our local congressman. We went into the Capital Building, The Supreme Court, The Library of Congress, and The Kennedy Center. Usually we spend our time in D.C. at some part of the Smithsonian it was nice to branch out and see other sites.
Here are some quickie photos of our day:

And I've got to add this one just to let you know that we know how to have a good time.How could we resist a tour of this?

What do you think?

2007-11-21T09:41:00.000-05:00

"it occurred to her in the moment that gravity took over that only her reaction to events made a difference"

This past weekend we were at the Sugarloaf Arts and Craft Festival in Gaithersburg, MD. What would have been an OK weekend for us turned into a very good weekend thanks to our new benefactor Helen. Helen is a jeweler and sculptor from Tennessee. She was in the booth across from us.
Here's the funny thing...
On Thursday we leave in the morning for our usual 9 hour drive to Gaithersburg for our set up. We hit traffic and construction on the way and we arrive at the fairgrounds (where the show is) 10 minutes before the show office is closing. Thankfully we get checked in and now it is 8pm. We decide to set up our 10 x 10 outdoor tent (we have an outdoor space at this show) and unload the car into it. We do that and we button up the hatches and we drive away knowing that we have to do what we really don't like to do...get up really early the next morning and set up our booth before the show starts at 10am.
We get up too early the next morning. We are all pissy and tired. We arrive at the fairgrounds to find that the high winds during the early morning have totally torqued and broken our trusty tent. Michael took one look at it and commented on how it must be our turn. Over the years we have seen this sort of thing happen many times to others.
Now we have to figure out what to do. Rent a tent? Go buy a new tent? Thankfully all of our inventory was still in the bins. If we had set up the night before we would have been in a real pickle (basically we would have been screwed!). We find out how much it is to rent a tent...ouch. We look for a BJ's or Costco. We finally find out that we can move locations and set up in a barn and we won't need a tent. So at 9:30am we are frantically loading up the car to move our stuff to a different location and then we have to unload the car all before "5 minutes ago" because our car has to get off the fairgrounds because the show is about to open.
We are working like clockwork. We are laughing and moving at the speed of TERRA. We unload the car, get it moved off the grounds, and then we are left to set up our space. We were hustling. We were open for business with lights on and cash box ready at around 1pm. We went back to our old space and left a sign letting all our customers from our mailing know where we were. A big sigh of relief, pats on the back, running into all sorts of other vendors who have to comment on the fact "oh, that was you" and we are standing around twiddling our thumbs because there aren't very many customers walking around. All of our neighbors are talking about how well we handled the situation and in what good spirits we are in. Well sure, shit happens and just like our good friend Lance has advised us we duck and roll.
If we hadn't hit traffic and construction, if our tent hadn't mangled itself into a twisted piece of art, if someone hadn't have moved out of the barn to somewhere else making their old space open we wouldn't have ended up across from Helen. She 'made' our show financially and emotionally.
Is it all coincidence or is it fate?
What do you think?

And that morning's moment of greatness was over.

2007-11-13T12:37:00.000-05:00

I awoke yesterday morning feeling refreshed and perky. That's pretty unusual for a Monday morning after a show weekend. And even more unusual because we drove home the night before and got in around midnight.
So I am feeling spunky and I am getting all sorts of things accomplished all before 8AM. I am amazing!! I did the banking, wrote a post, put together some pictures of a baby blanket that I took off the loom...I am multi-tasking away. I put the sausage on the stove to make sausage and eggs for breakfast. I am a goddess. I put in a load of laundry, I check the printer, do some more futzing and then the perfect alignment of my morning crumbled.Oops! I forgot about the sausage burning away. But all was not lost...we ate them anyway with our omelets. And that morning's moment of greatness was over.

So many logistics so little time.

2007-11-12T08:05:00.000-05:00

We have now officially started our 4 shows in 4 weekends in a row. Last weekend was Hartford, CT, then we have Gaithersburg, MD, then Lancaster, PA, then Westfield, NJ. We did have 5 shows in a row but our last show is in an armory and the National Guard has been called so the promoter had to switch the dates. All of the artists that had already booked their hotels on priceline are SOL...what a drag. We always stay with friends so it was easy to switch weekends.
For the past month Xan and I have been totally consumed with a trip. When each of our girls turns 13 they are allowed to pick a place to travel to with Mom and Dad. It's our way of celebrating their 'coming of age'. Artie chose to go to NYC and Xan has chosen to go to Paris. That's right, Paris.
So we again decided that we need to spend money that we do not have and we have booked our air and we are in the process of booking an apartment. We are getting an apartment in the Latin Quarter for about $700 a week. Let me tell you that when we first starting seriously planning this trip 500 euros (the cost of the apartment) was $716 and now it is $730. Oh woe is us...all of us. We are thinking about buying our euros now because we get to pay for the apartment in cash when we arrive. If we wait for 2 or 3 months who knows what 500 euros will convert into. These are bad days for the dollars.
Xan is working very hard these days at shows to make as much money as she can for the trip. She's helping to fund the trip...all her idea.
Get this....over Thanksgiving Xan is driving to Cleveland, Ohio to work for a woman who paints on silk and makes clothing with it. This past weekend Xan worked for her and it was great. So off she is going to Ohio to work a show with Denise and will fly back into Albany when the show is over. She will miss Thanksgiving because that is their set-up day and under normal circumstances we wouldn't let it happen but there's the Paris trip and Xan is so motivated to go and make money.
I must be off to figure out her plane home and to figure out how Artie is going to get to Maryland to meet us for Thanksgiving. So many logistics so little time.

...no matter how cool it looks.

2007-11-07T11:51:00.000-05:00

I signed up for the Mablahblahblah. You know that thing where you post everyday for a month. I thought it would be so much fun. Two of my favorite bloggers do it and I wanted to feel the commraderie.
I missed the second day.
I have been so depressed about it that I haven't posted since the first day.
I missed the stupid second day.
How lame is that?

So back to blogging. In my own time in my own way....
Halloween!!!This is what my kitchen table looked like for a whole day before we brought the pumpkins out into our tent that we set up.We serve hot mulled cider to all the grown ups and give away toys of some sort to all the kids. This year we had kazoos and they were a big hit. It was a blast to teach the little kids how to use them.
Artie's costume:
Xan's costume that she designed and totally made herself (Goddess, I love homeschooling):
Our upstairs neighbors came out and played for everyone. Greg is an amazing guitar player and luthier and Maggie is almost done getting her teaching certificate. We are so blessed to have them in our house!
It was a groovy, groovy evening with lots of crowds stopping by. All the grown ups telling us that they look forward to our stop every year. It's nice to hear the appreciation for something that we love to do.
The next day Artie was outside and noticed a small bird on some of the spider web that we had put out. She thought that the bird looked so beautiful that she took some pictures.While she was snapping away she realized that the poor bird was stuck. So she got Xan and some gloves and she cut the bird free taking care not to touch the bird in any way. The deed was done and the little guy flew off to safety.
Note to self...Next year do not use the spider web on the sunflowers no matter how cool it looks.

Anything beats the heat around here.

2007-11-01T18:58:00.000-05:00

The weather here is unseasonably warm. So warm that kids were out last night in those skimpy two piece costumes that they can only wear in mid-July. It was an eye opener.
On my way home from getting the mail today I passed a house that I just love. This house is a big white rambling oasis on a corner. It's owned by this real outrageous black woman who loves to garden with old tires. There's mostly a white picket fence that surrounds the yard.
Today I noticed that the matronly black bear (of the chain saw variety) was wearing a faux-fur coat. Standing there up by the tree just waiting winter.
What a glorious sight.
I, too, am waiting for winter. Anything beats the heat around here.

...gotten through for now.

2007-10-29T07:42:00.000-05:00

Let's face it. I do retail almost every weekend, all weekend long. I stand around in (what I hope is) a funky, interesting, and creative outfit. I put on my best "I am only paying attention to you and you only" face and I hopefully sell enough of Michael's ceramics to pay the mortgage, buy new winter coats, pay for soccer, and if I'm lucky splurge a little on the groceries. I don't sell all by myself Michael is there. In fact he is much better at it than I am. Not that I am bad or anything but he is much better with the schmoozing part.
Last weekend we trek, and I mean we trek, to Novi, MI for a show with a promoter that we work with a lot. We get up at 3:30 in the morning on Thursday and we are in the car ready to go at 4:00. We drive in intense fog for hours. It must have been Mother Nature's little "Ha, Ha" on the Terra's and their big white van, Moby. We trade off driving and sleeping about every 3 hours. Xan did some homeschool in the car. We listened to "The Stories of Oz". The original ones, weird, and most of them are not very pleasant. But we feel righteous for having done it because they are classics. We had such an unremarkable lunch that for the life of me I can't remember where we ate. And finally, finally we pull into the Rock Financial Center at 5:00pm to set up our booth. We are there until 8:00 and we are not even done yet. It took us a while to figure out a new set up because Michael is a 'demo artist' (which to us means that we get a free booth space in exchange for Michael working at the show). We get to the hotel and this time it is a good one. We are staying at a Marriott and they have an indoor pool. We go to an 'Olive Garden' for dinner. Michael and I each order a glass of wine and we were all barely able to pick up our forks to eat dinner. Back to the hotel and some tv watching and as usual I am the first one asleep.
The weekend was a bust. Novi is a bedroom community for Detroit. For me, that about sums it up. We were packed all weekend. We worked our butts off and for all our hard effort we broke even. People stood in front of our booth, stared, mouths fell slightly open, heads tilted to one side, mouths open, words come out, "Can you explain this to me?" That's what we did all weekend. Talk, talk, talk, explain, explain, explain. Very little wrapping was done.
It happens. We have doing this enough years now that we take it in stride. Every show is a learning experience and you never how economically successful you are going to be until you try. We know people who who raked in the dough.
At home yesterday sitting at our kitchen table I had out the bill box and was sorting through them picking out which bills to pay and which to leave until after the next show. I am in a constant flux of 'putting all my eggs in one show'. The loan payment can wait because even though it is due the 1st I really have until the 16th before they charge a late payment. Must pay the credit cards because they are nasty, nasty corporations who will raise my APR if I am 2 seconds late in paying. I always try to prioritize 'people' we owe money to right after the credit cards because they are people and they need the money just like we do. I want to give them the opportunity to sit at their kitchen table with their bill boxes and play their version of check roulette.
I open up the Sprint bill. Ouch. It's over $500. $469 of it is Artie's from the 3 weeks that she is in Austin. I just remembered that I haven't told her yet. That will smart. Austin seems like forever ago.
Another show is in the bag. Another day with the bills has been, well, it has been gotten through for now.

I'm thinking about Turkey.

2007-10-25T07:00:00.000-05:00

On our way to Michigan last week I had the map out in the car. we were going to do a detour to Niagara Falls. Xan and I are looking at the map...
"Hey Mom, does that say Buffalo?"
"Yeah sweetie."
"I know, isn't Buffalo a country?"
"No honey, Buffalo is a city."
"No I'm sure it is a country."
"It's not. It's a city in New York state dear."
"No, no, no I"m sure that it is a country."
"It's not honey, it is a city in New York state and we are going to drive through there to get to Niagara Falls on Monday."
"No Mom, I'm sure it's a country. It's (long pause). Oh, ha-ha, it's Turkey. I'm thinking about Turkey."

...it's all working out.

2007-10-17T06:52:00.000-05:00

Everyone sent me such kind and supportive wishes during the time that Artie was in Austin. I just want everyone to know that she is home and doing great. Really great.
I think that this experience helped her do some maturing. She is taking a pastels portrait class, working at a coffee shop and looking for another job, and (get this) she is taking classes to prepare her for getting her GED. She is actively looking at colleges for special effects make-up design.
Michael and I are yet once again 'wowed' by our daughter.
She's happy, productive, and she's home. I must admit it's good to have her home, it's all working out. Thank Goddess it's all working out.

...off the loom last month.

2007-10-16T08:24:00.001-05:00

I haven't posted in a while because I've been waiting for everyone to see the pictures of J. But it is time to move on and you should really look at my last post and see the pictures of J.
We went to Baltimore a few weekends ago for an art show. Last year at this time we were at the same art show staying with the same wonderful friends, the Rashkins. Our friend, Laura, is someone that used to rent an apartment from us when we lived in Tucson, AZ. Oh, let's say, about 17 or 18 years ago.
Laura arrived at our doorstep a few days before Thanksgiving one year wanting to rent our apartment. She stayed, she had Thanksgiving with us and she has been a feature in our lives ever since. We even went to her wedding. How lucky for us to know Laura!!!
So...last year I asked her daughter, Anna (then 3), if I could make her a rug in my weaving class. It was decided that I could. And here it is a year later and I am bringing the rug to Anna's house unfinished. I spent one night sitting on the floor tie-ing off the ends so that I could leave the rug with her. I am the slowest weaver!! It takes me about 6 months to a year (obviously) to get one project done from start to finish.
I got up early on the morning that we were leaving so that I could take some pictures of Anna with her new rug. See how happy she is...See how excited she is to have a rug that Victoria made just for her...See how she can smile when asked, "Why aren't you smiling, Anna?".The rug is finished...now on to the baby blankets I took off the loom last month.

...and a helluva woman.

2007-09-27T21:14:00.000-05:00

Finally, finally I can tell you about the day that I got to meet J. Beautiful, beautiful J. She is so wonderful that she even let me borrow her luscious hair for a few moments.Now what kind of woman that you have never met in person before will let you have the hair that you have always dreamed for a few moments? J rocks!!!
J and her family came to a show that we were doing in Manassas, VA. And what a lovely family they are.She has three young boys that had loads of fun playing with some clay that Michael got out for them. See them having loads of fun.OK so maybe ice cream is more fun.But seriously folks...I got to meet a very special woman. I look forward to reading her blog. She makes my day better every time she leaves a comment on mine. She is a gifted wordsmith and a helluva woman.

Is this really happening?

2007-09-23T10:59:00.001-05:00

A bottle of wine later and good nights sleep and now I am ready to blog about it.
Yesterday my Mom calls me from Texas. She is out there visiting her best friend and just so happens to be two hours away from Austin.
She says, (and this is after not calling me when she arrived in Texas, like she said she would, a few days previously) "I just want you to know that I am on my way to Austin to go and get Artie. I thought that you would be relieved to know."
"Are you picking her up, like taking her away from there for good?"
"I've been talking to her a lot lately and I think that she needs to get out of there so I am picking her up so that she can spend a few days with me in Junction (where she is staying with her friend)."
"OK then Mom. I, too, have been talking with Artie a lot lately and I am not going to intervene in this situation no matter what my feelings about it are. Artie is in a position where she needs to be making decisions on her own and I am not going to tell her or you what to do."
"I think that she needs me to come and get her so I am going."
That's about the jist of it.
Later in the day I get a phone call from Artie that she has been waiting outside of her apartment complex for over 1/2 an hour. Her grandmother is late and she is worried. I told her that Granny could be lost but there was nothing to do but wait. And to please call me when she is in the car with Granny.
She doesn't call.
I called a couple of hours later. They are in a restaurant somewhere on the way to Junction and everything is groovy. I ask her to please call me when they get to Junction.
A couple of hours later....
I call to make sure that everythiing is OK.
"Everything is fine Mom we are just taking the scenic route."
"Do you know where you are?"
There's some talking back and forth in the car with Artie and Granny.
"Yeah, Granny says we are in San Antonio."
"Great!"
This is not such a great 'great' by the way. It's getting dark. My mother has really crappy night vision. They are in San Antonio which is out of the way of where Junction is. I'm thinking that this is not such a good thing. And Artie is assuring me how everything is fine.
"Everything is not really fine dear, your grandmother has a really hard time seeing at night."
"I know Mom, I'm helping her."
"That's good dear call me when you get to Junction. And if you need me to mapquest anything for you call me!!!"
They got to Junction a few hours later around 11pm their time. Artie has no cell service there and it took her a while to figure out how to use the rotary dial telephone.
And my Mom is going to take her back to Junction on Monday? Is this really happening?

....she's coming home.

2007-09-21T07:59:00.000-05:00

So she has finagled money out of my Mom and she is coming home.
Big breath.
She's coming home.
We are in no way helping her to get here but we are clear that we will not turn her away if she shows up on our doorstep.
She's coming home.
She had it all figured out how to get herself to Lopez. She had a place to live and a job but after a heart to heart talk with her about doing what she really wants to do vs. making another mistake she let us know that she is coming home to be with us.
She's coming home.
She has found a job here and we are being very clear with her that things will not be the same for her around here.
She's coming home.
Xan is not too thrilled with the whole thing. I think that she has seen enough of the emotional trauma that we have been through this week and thinks that Artie would be better out on Lopez.
She's coming home.
I don't know how I really feel about the whole thing. I don't think that Artie really gets the magnitude of the personal growth that she is giving up. I will not let her come home and live like an emotional cripple.
She's coming home.
Oh God...she's coming home.

Stamina, stamina, stamina...

2007-09-20T08:46:00.000-05:00

Yesterday morning was totally sucked into the Artie emotional hysteria. Yesterday afternoon was totally sucked into the Artie emotional hysteria. Yesterday evening I had just gotten home from working at the Farmers Market and she calls I told her that I couldn't talk to her until after dinner was made and we had eaten and watched our movie. She called three times before the movie was over and each time we told her that we would be calling her when the movie was over.
I called when the movie was over and we had a reasonably good conversation. Both she and I have been talking to reps from the Vancouver Film School. But in this conversation she tells me about how she has tried to hurt herself by taking too many aspirins. She's thinking that if she hurts herself we will come out and get her. Then she tells me that just that very day she has burned herself. On purpose.
What do you do?
I told her that the 5 aspirin that she told me she took won't kill her.
"That was only the 5 I took Mom! I stopped myself."
What do you say?
Our conversation got better. I kept it focused on this costume rental place near her house that is hiring. Lucy in Disguise with Diamonds....how fun does that sound? I kept it focused on the Starbucks application that she has. I kept it focused on the Vancouver Film School. I told her yet again that she needs to stay out there for some personal growth....and she needs to learn how to deal with herself.
I actually went to bed feeling fairly good. Then I woke up at 4am. Michael is still working and tells me that he has spent most of the evening on the phone with our oldest. On Sunday night she stooped to the "You don't love me that's why you won't let me come home". Last night it was her "My best friends' parents are better parents than you are". Michael said that the phone call was over because she was getting too hurtful and would regret the things that she was saying. She called back an hour later crying and apologizing and they talked for an hour.
Needless to say I didn't go back to sleep for a very long time.
So far this week we have missed soccer, a hair appointment, been late to work at the market, a cheese tour, and barely homeschooled yesterday morning. We are so sucked up in this emotional drama we are not functioning properly.
Stamina, stamina, stamina......

....into the pits of despair.

2007-09-19T08:37:00.000-05:00

We've had one good day. ONE GOOD DAY. Well if you can consider that Art was pissed off enough (at us) to get her ass on the city bus and ride it. She told me that day that she was coping by putting on a facade.
"OK...if that's what you need to do to get through this."
Yesterday we were back to the I hate it here(s) and I want to come home(s).
She called in the wee hours of the morning and Michael told her that we need some rest and that we need to sleep so we will talk to her in the morning.
She told me yesterday that she has a job interview today at a coffee shop at the airport. She is going in and they will talk and do a background check. And she's got a job interview for a cashier position at some restaurant called Jimmy Chews.
Michael said yesterday (before we started receiving more distressing phone calls) that I should blog everyday about this so that we can have a record of how great this move to Austin has been for us. Little did we know that we were about to be plunged down again into the pits of despair.

...numb to the core.

2007-09-17T08:52:00.000-05:00

I had wonderful plans to blog about my vacation in Mexico. I had anticipated with warm fuzzy thoughts about the blog that would contain the pictures and my thoughts about J. How glorious to meet J and how dear it was going to be to share that with my blogger friends.
Instead....I have spent the last 4 days in hell. In parent hell.
Artie flew off to Austin, TX on Tuesday last week.
On Wednesday the phone calls of need and loneliness started. We have peaked (hopefully peaked) into how much I hate her and won't come out to Austin and be there for her.. How can I? How can I save her from herself? Oh, this is hard folks. I want to get on that plane. I want to go out there and hug here and hold her. I can not.
We are standing back and allowing our oldest to succeed. We are standing back and allowing her to figure out for herself how she is going to help herself feel better.
What growing pains. I am frozen with fear.
Teary eyed and numb to the core.

I love to fly, don't you?

2007-08-28T21:39:00.000-05:00

Today we did the massive 12 housr drive to Maryland to stay with our friends and they are going to drive us to the airport in the morning. Early morning...not really to far from now.
On our drive we stopped at a Starbucks in NJ. A woman who works there was working on a sign that she wanted to put up about a coffee. Michael asked her what she was doing and she showed him her work and was discouraged. Michael offered to do it for her. "Are you good at this sort of thing?" She asked.
We got free Frappucinos and coffee out of the deal.
I told her that we would stop by once a month when they need to change the sign.
I'll be back from Mexico next week...hopefully with lots of good pics.
Mom is ok, by the way, not great but there are a lot of tests being done at the moment and her cardiologist and her primary care guy seem to think that her blood pressure problem is not the awful incurable disease that it could be. We'll know next week.
I'm going snorkeling...and this time tomorrow I'll be in a different country.
I love to fly, don't you?

Love you all......

2007-08-20T12:53:00.000-05:00

So, I am here in MA with my Mom doing my best not to loose it. Xan arrived last Monday and I was hoping that Mom would be up and running in a few days but she is not. She is having a problem where she will be fine sitting down but when she stands up her blood pressure drops and she's a gonner.
I borrowed her car on Friday (my 20th wedding anniversary) and drove to Stockbridge, MA to help Michael set up for a show. We went over to Jacob's Pillow (be still my heart this place if fabulous) and saw a dance performance. It was wonderful and beautiful. Spent the night at a friend's house and then I left on Saturday to come back to my Mom's.
Today we went to see the doctor again. He is taking her off one more medication that she takes that might have something to do with her blood pressure. If that doesn't work than he is pretty sure she has the lucky fortune of have a blood pressure system that does not know how to regulate itself. This is a royal pain the ass to deal with but better to know what is going on and deal with it than not know and not be able to walk around.
I have cleaning my Mom's house...ICK!!!
This past Friday my brother and his wife signed papers on her (his wife) dream house. It is in Wareham, MA. In the town where she grew up and ever since she can remember she has wanted to live in this house. It was built in the 1700's. Her kids have grown up with her driving by it and telling them that someday they would live there. Now they do. Pretty cool huh? She wants Michael to come over and wood burn the word "dream" into one of the old beams in the kitchen. Of course he will!!!
Today I get to park my ass on the ride around mower and mow the yard. Tomorrow Artie is taking the bus in to help me keep my sanity. She's a good kid. She is all packed for Austin and is going to fly out in the middle of September.
I have been watching the progress of Hurricane Dean. Tomorrow it should hit the Yucatan Peninsula. And we are flying out there in a week. EEK.
We'll see what happens.
I know that I've been tagged but I got to move on to other things on the internet and then get back to Mom's. Ahhkkk, this is the second time from the 2nd person and sooner or later I'll do my 8 things.
Love you all.....

...our trusty navigator for company.

2007-08-13T08:44:00.000-05:00

I have been so selfishly self-involved in my vacation search that I forgot to mention that my Mom just got a pacemaker put in. She came home from the hospital on Saturday and my brother did the weekend duty. Now, today, Xan & I are going to take the bus down to be with her until Friday when we take the bus to the Berkshires to set up for a show.
So, I am travel bound this week. Hopefully we will make it to the library and I can blog.
When I told my friend, Beth, yesterday about my experience with Artie and the bus station she said that it was too bad Xan wasn't there. Because we all know that Xan would have had that itinerary out and questioning every little detail.
Thankfully I will have our trusty navigator for company.

...midnight update.

2007-08-12T22:26:00.000-05:00

It's official.
We are flying out of Washington, DC from Reagon International Airport for Cancun on Wed. Aug. 29th until Sept. 5th for $213 a person. We are staying in a two bedroom condo in Akumel on the Riviera Maya for a week for $705. Not too shabby.
I highly recommend this website www.vrbo.com...that's vacation rental by owner.
We are renting from a nice couple in NH that live near our friend Andy.
That's my midnight update.

...to be had at my finger tips.

2007-08-12T09:06:00.000-05:00

We have decided that we want to do something celebatory. Not just the usual dinner but something "wow". Something really special.
Michael and I have our 20th wedding anniversary this month, next month he is turning 50, and Artie is leaving the nest and moving to Austin, TX and our best friend, Andy, has his birthday this month and wants to join in on the fun.
Our first thoughts were that we wanted to take a cruise on the Hudson River. We wanted something that would take us down to NYC and see the Statue of Liberty from the water and come back up. That was a no go...couldn't find anything that was doing that. Then I looked into smaller cruises. We could take an all day sail out of Kingston on the tall ship "Clearwater". It was commissioned to be built by Pete Seeger and it's mission is to promote envirionment issues dealing with the Hudson. That sounded fun but Michael thought that some of us would be bored. Bored? OK so I moved on.
I started to think of all things that I wanted to show the girls here on the East Coast and what haven't we done yet. Niagara Falls and Nova Scotia and Acadia National Park in ME. So I start looking into these possibilities. Niagara Falls is 6 hours away and we all agree that we don't want to be spending a lot of time in the car because we spend a lot of time in the car anyway and want to avoid that. I looked into flying and taking the train and taking the car ferry to Nova Scotia. Nothing is gelling together. I even looked into castles. I thought that it would be fun to spend the night in a castle and there a few here in NY. Then somehow this has all morphed into snorkeling.
Snorkeling.
We all love to snorkel. We have wonderful memories of being in the Bahamas and walking out our timeshare and snorkeling off the beach. Xan was just a baby and Artie must have been 6. Oh it was glorious. Why not go snorkeling?
I sit myself down in front of Expedia and my fingers are flying across the key board. We have so many variables. Because we travel and we want to squish this celebration in between shows we have about six different airports we could leave from. From Boston, Providence, Hartford, all the NYC ones, Albany, or Washington, DC. We can leave near where a show is ending or end up near a show that is just starting. We can fly to anywhere that there is snorkeling.
I started with the most northern island in the carribean and worked my way down. My fingers did the walking from the Dominican Republic to Aruba. I was there for about 7 hours straight. This is what I have done pretty much excusively for two days.
And we did call a travel agent to see if they could come up with anything better. You know, not really.
Nearing the end...I think. We have decided to fly in and out of Boston so that we can travel with Andy (but late last night I think that we might have changed our minds on this point) and we are either going to Jamaica or the Riviera Maya outside of Cancun. In both places we can stay on the beach and snorkel to our hearts content.
When I first started this search vacation packages were about $500 a person. I thought that that was reseasonable. But right before my eyes the cost of flying went up. Damn. Now we are looking at options from $600 (flight and villa) or $750 (for an all inclusive). How are we going to afford this? We talked about it yesterday and realized that we do all sorts of things that we can't afford and we want to do this so we will.
I must away to check out something that I thought of last night but refrained from getting out of bed to check on.
I"m obsessive about this kind of stuff...always thinking that there is a better deal to be had at my finger tips.

WE HAD A NICE HUG.

2007-08-06T06:55:00.000-05:00

Finally here are the pictures that I told a few friends I was going to post up on my blog days ago. I am so amazed at what she has done over the past 5 weeks. WOW. I knew she was talented I just had no idea that she could draw like this.
Michael has a saying, "It's been a long year today". Well, it was a long year yesterday. Artie came home from Skidmore on Friday and had plans to leave for Pensic (a re-enactment sort of thing for medieval time period and before that time period enthusiasts) on Saturday. Well the kid was an emotting mess. She was all wigged out about finishing her art program and then saying goodbye to friends, packing up all her stuff to move home, unpacking all her stuff at home, packing up all the stuff that she needed for Pensic, and then getting reading to take the bus to Pittsburgh. I stayed home from work (we were at a show in VT) to be with her on Saturday.
The morning began with frustration and her wanting to throw things (she had a lot of artwork to deal with from her art classes at Skidmore). The mid-day turned into her wanting to leave on Sunday instead of Saturday. Good choice in my book but her pick up in Pittsburgh wanted her to arrive on Sunday. So, she gets herself ready to leave on the bus for Saturday.
We take a cab to the Saratoga Springs bus station. Really not to far from our house but with two suitcases and 80+ degree weather I thought it wise. Art wants me to come and sit with her and wait for the bus. It's ok with me. We met all the crazies that are heading back to Albany after drinking at the racetrack all day. One woman wants to know if Artie and I are girlfriends. Uh, no!
So, dear emotionally wrenched Artie gets on the bus for Pittsburg. All is well. She has her itinerary printed out. She is going to Port Authority in NYC to transfer to a bus for Pittsburgh. We did a lot of planning for this. Making sure that she is in NYC during a time of day so that she is present and awake to make her transfer. The bus will get her into Pittsburgh at 6:30am. It's a long ride from here to Pittsburgh.
So.....Artie gets to Port Authority at 9:30pm and is catching an 11:15pm bus. She gets there. Calls us to let us know that she is there. The cell connection is awful so we only chat for a second. But she is there and OK. The kid is overwhelmed with the size of the place and goes to the information counter to help her figure out where the bus to Pittsburg is. The really nice guy at the information place wants to help her out and carries one of her bags for her over to the gate for the bus. This really nice guy who most likely really meant to be nice. This really nice guy who walked my really nice kid to the wrong gate. She didn't check to see what gate she was at. She didn't check to make sure that the bus number on her itinerary matched the bus number at the gate. She goes ahead and gets on the bus. She didn't even question the bus driver when told her that she would be transferring in Philadelphia. She knew damn well that she wasn't transferring anywhere but in NYC.
I called her at 11:30pm just as I was getting into bed. Just to say goodnight and make sure that she got on the bus. She then tells me what the bus driver said to her when she got on the bus. I am thinking, "This is not good". I hang up with her and get online and see that there is no transfer like I thought and I'm thinking, "Where the hell is she going?". Once back on the phone with her she tells me that everyone is asleep and there is noone to ask and the person next to her is asleep and she can't get out to talk to the bus driver. We make a plan for her to call me when the bus stops.
I fall asleep with the phone next to me. I am woken up at 12:30am.
"Hi Mom, I got on the wrong bus. I'm in Philadelphia."
"OK, what time and where is your connection to Pittsburgh?"
"I don't know."
"Didn't you ask the driver when you got off the bus?"
"No."
"Do you see a ticket office with ticket agents?"
"Yes."
"Go and ask the ticket agent what time and where the bus to Pittsburgh is and call me right back."
"OK."
Wait, wait, wait.
"Mom (her sobbing starts) I have to wait until 5:45am (my gut is wrenching). I feel so stupid I never checked to see that I was getting on the right bus because the information guy took me there."
"I know sweetie, I know (Oh fuck my 18 yr. daughter has to spend the night in the bus station in Philly)."
"Mom, I feel so stupid. I didn't want to leave today anyway. Mahhhhummmm."
"I know sweetie (I think I could just about puke right now)."
Meanwhile Michael is across the street sitting with Xan because she is babysitting for a neighbor and it's late. I now walk across the street.
"Well Honey you are going to have to sit in the station until the bus comes."
"I know."
Michael gets on the phone and gives her some great advice about asking the ticket agent where the safest place to sit is and that she should take her purse off and zip it into her bag and then sit on her luggage so nobody can take it if she falls asleep.
We all chat back and forth for a little while. Apparently there is a tv on there so she goes and sits somewhere where she can stay awake and watch tv.
I go home and get into bed with the phone.
Michael got a serious vibe at 3am and called her while some yahoo was trying to pick her up. She told me later that morning that there was a homeless woman that sat with her and thought that Artie was her daughter. She took out her journal and wrote about all the displaced nuts that she saw and met.
I set our alarm for 5:25am so that I could make sure that she was up and getting on the bus.
We chat and the bus is late. She gets on the bus around 6:30am and I tell her to go to sleep because the bus only has a few stops and she doesn't get off until it's last stop in Pittsburgh.
I never go back to sleep and we have to leave the house at 8am to be in VT in time for our show.
Of all the things to happen that morning we leave both of our cell phones behind and don't realize it until we are too far on the way to Vt to turn around. It's OK we have lots of friends with phones. I phone Artie at 12:30 to make sure that she got to Pittsburgh Ok. Got her voicemail which did not thrill me and left her a message. She called back and got my dear friend Lisa and told her that she was with Mark (her pick up) and all is well.
All was well. I became a bowl of jello. Exhausted and limp. I floated through the rest of the day can't wait to get home and crawl onto the couch.
Mid morning Xan wanted to give me a hug. Michael, who knows me so well, said to her, "Don't touch Mommy honey until this is all over then you can hug her all you want." He knows so well how tightly compact I put all that anxiety in there and one hug can let it all unravel. He knows I hate that.
In the afternoon I looked at him teary eyed, "We lived through it honey. I know it's not the first time nor will be the last but we got through this one."
We had a nice hug.

GOOD, BECAUSE I MISS HIM.

2007-06-30T08:20:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that so much time has passed since my last blog entry.
We got Xan off to Tucson alright. She had the good fortune of sharing a whole row by herself with another young (homeschooler to boot!) girl who was travelling alone as well. The plane arrived an hour early. Dig that...an hour early. The Continental folks whisked her off to some office where she waited for an hour and a half for Keith to finally catch up with her and all the miscommunication with the airline. I've got a great picture of her on the airplane with the captain. Will have to download it later as I am using my friend's computer.
Which brings me to the present. I went to my Mom's for 5 days and hung out with her while she had cataract surgery. Then I came here to Andy's to cat sit. Two days by myself with no phone or car. Downright unamerican. Downright decadent, if you ask me. Yesterday I watched Hitch (cute), The Public Eye (very good flic), and The Weatherman (depressing and quite real). Here I am ALONE. Just me and the kitties. And, of course, a good book. I am reading "Thud" by Terry Pratchett. I just got turned onto Terry Pratchett and am enjoying him.
Mom's: I think my max 'Mom limit' is about 4 days. Sad to say, sad to admit. She really does drive me bonkers. Even that was too humorous for the actual emotions. She is a frustrating woman very self centered and is pretty negative these days. I have been thinking about aging. I believe that as we grow older we can choose to just settle into a part of ourselves. That part is of your choosing. Me? I want to be old and funny and cute. Loose my mind with an air of the absent minded professor. Hum dee doe-doe and loveable. My Mom who is witty and intelligent is choosing the unattractive parts of herself to hunker down into in her elder years. She wants to complain about others and play emotional mind games with her (maybe boyfriend) bridge partner. I have been bold with her and told her to stop complaining about him and their relationship if she is not willing to TALK to him about how she feels. She keeps telling me it's how her generation operates.
A weird thing happened on this trip. I never am comfortable in my parents' house. I never sleep well. This time on the second night that I was there something sat on the bed next to me. At first I thought that my cat, Ethel, had jumped on the bed then I realized that was not possible and woke up out of a sound sleep flailing my body across the bed to get rid of my unseen entruder. I always have this feeling when I am at parents' house that there is something that wants my attention. So, when I am there without my family and I am sleeping alone upstairs I always tell this non-seen thing that I am not interested in it getting my attention. I do this before I go to sleep. Not this time, I was doing it in the wee hours of the morning that I was not interested in having my attention 'got' at this or any other time. Oh yeah, I went back to sleep. Sometime I will tell you about my mother-in-law trying to get my attention be driving behind me in her car (after she had passed over, of course) and I knew damn well that she wanted me to pull over and talk to me. Michael has asked on several ocassions "Why didn't you stop?". Let me tell you I was not and am not interested in my mother-in-law wanting me to fix her daughter. Not my job. Don't want to go there. And I knew damn well that's what she wanted to talk about way back in April of 2006.
Life is weird.
Michael and Stuart, his brother, got to go over to their mom's house and pick up items of personal property. The horrid sister gave them one day only to complete a daunting task. As with all stories of this estate it is long and involved and I am not going to go into it. Suffice to say that we now have a storage unit and this is far from over. She continues to be dishonest and dishonorable. I choice these words diplomatically.
I am off to reconcile my bank statements to my check books. This way I won't feel like a total slouch.
Michael will arrive tonight. Good, because I miss him.

And so it goes...

2007-06-10T07:54:00.000-05:00

It's been a hectic time here at Terra Cottage. We are trying to wrap up our homeschooling before Monday or Tuesday so that we can send off all of our documentation to Lopez. It's been funny to read whole chapters with all their sections of history. Getting almost the whole European Middle Ages in one sitting is quite a lot to chew on. Very funny to zip through The Crusades when under different circumstances we might spend a month on those.
Artie came down with us last week to NYC for an art show at Lincoln Center. More hectic logistics with Xan staying behind bouncing between friends so that she could play two soccer games. We left a day early because we had arranged with a friend of mine who is the props master for 'Beauty and the Beast' for Artie to hang out with the make-up guy who does the make-up for the beast. Long story short, my friend had forgot about our date earlier in the week and made arrangements for another guy, Joel to meet us at the backstage door. Well, Joel was 45 minutes late, the backstage door guy was a jerk, and Artie got into the theater for only 15 minutes. David later called us and says that he owes us big time. But, Artie loved Vinney the make-up guy who filled her head with lots of info in a short time. He showed her how he does the beast's make-up. He showed her the wig room. And to top it all off he had done some special effects make-up for the movie "Dogma". He created the shit monster. Artie was on cloud nine.
I hope this experience helped. It was planned with the intention that it could help Artie decide if she wanted to go to special effects make-up school. She is now talking about trying to get into an internship at Jim Henson Studios. She's 18, who knows what she'll want to do next week. I'll keep you posted.
We got Artie off on a plane to Seattle that weekend. One down one to go! She is now safely entrenched in island life for a month before coming back here for a studio arts summer program at Skidmore College.
Now Xan is jumping around wanting all the focus on her because she is flying out to Tucson, AZ this coming Saturday. She is going to travel with some dear friends of ours. She's packing, stressing, and driving us all bonkers over here.
So in a week Michael and I will be alone for the 1st time in 18 years. Both girls gone and a few days later I have to go down to my Mom's because she is having eye surgery. Isn't that the way of things.
From my Mom's I will travel up to NH to cat sit for our best friend. He is going off to Prince Edward Island in Canada for his own family fun. Michael will meet me in NH after he gets Artie off to Skidmore and then we will do some toodling in Maine for a few days before we are off to an art show.
The weather here is thick and humid. We've got some important court dates coming up. We've been having some intense family discussions about Xan and I moving back to Lopez in the Fall. Our lawyer has informed me that I can't go because he needs my documentation skills too much. He wants me to come and work for him. Nope.
Today is another humid day on the East Coast. Xan has a choral conert for us all to attend.
And so it goes...

OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO.

2007-05-27T07:42:00.000-05:00

Whew!! This is going to be short because I just spent the last 45 minutes diddling around with my links. I have put up two new ones. One for Ellen, my new friend that has moved to Saratoga Springs and we met online. Last week we had lunch together and she brought me some hand-folded envelopes that she had made. What a woman!
The other is for one of my favorite charitable organizations, Food For Life Vrindavan.
A few weeks ago I ran into an old friend. She used to live in our neighborhood and has moved out to the country in a big old (OLD) farmhouse. So sweet. Her husband is a Hare Krishna and we have spent many a fine celebration at their house. She mentioned to me that they were having a fundraiser for their favorite charitable organiztion that is run by their friend Rupa. Since Xan wants to be a chef when she grows up so we try and hook her up with as many cooking experiences that we can. Last Thursday and Friday Xan spent the the day with our friend, Beth, preparing for a vegetarian Indian meal and then she stayed for the event and served.
Oh my gosh, it was amazing! We had samosas, palak paneer, deep fried cauliflower, chickpeas with some tomato stuff, and rice. For desert we had some sort of semolina pudding with orange in it and a sweet spiced yogurt with raisins in it. It was so awesomely yummy. We got to sit with some people that we had not met before and that is always fun.
After we stuffed ourselves to the gills we watched a presentation by Rupa about all the work that is being done in this town, Vrindavan, in India. What a mench. Not only does he feed people everyday, provide medical care, help with housing, has started a school...Not only has he accomplished all this. He has now started a program so progressive that I get shivers everytime I think about it.
In India, in this part of India, people are poor. Dirt poor. When girls are born they are considered a curse. A curse. A curse up on their family because someday they will have to be married and that means that the family is going to have to pay a dowry. Most, pretty much all, families try to marry their daughters off as soon as they turn 13 because at that age it is the least amount of money a family will have to spend to have their girls married off. Tragic. I think Rupa's school has been around for about 4 yrs. now and he has seen girls vanish from a classroom from one day to the next. So he got to thinking about how can he motivate a family to let the girls stay in school. This is how I understand his solution:
He (I"m sure there is many more people than 'he'. It is just that I have met Rupa.) is in the process of setting up a fund, an interest bearing bank account for each girl in the school. Through donations each girl gets money in the account. The family is told that the girl may have this money when she graduates from school. The money that the girl receives upon graduation is greater than the sum that the family would receive if they marry her off at an any age. What Rupa has not made truly clear to the family is that the money is the girls'. It is theirs to do whatever they choose to do with it.
Did you get chills? Are tears running down your face? Yeah, me too.
What an inspired thing to do. What a way to change a girls' life.
Michael and I have not stopped talking about it. We are so moved by this act of social change. The bravery and humanity of it.
Like I said, I added the link into my sidebar. Oh, the places you'll go.