AH, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THEIR FACES.

Today I am going to have lunch with someone that I've met online. How fun is that? My new friend, Ellen, has recently moved here from CA. She found my blog at some Saratoga website listing people from Saratoga that have blogs. Who knew? And you all know how much I love it here. Funny that someone out there thinks I'm a good candidate to promote this lovely village we live in. Weird?
Before my story..I want J to know that I still know that I owe her some cookies. I've gone gluten-free and haven't been baking. Not a really good excuse but I want her to know that I just ordered some gluten-free cookbooks. J, someday when you least expect it there will arrive a package at your door full of weird non-gluten treats.
On a funny note...I must tell you about our dinner conversation the other day. My blogger friend, Annalise, had a really funny post the other day. She said that she got a box of condoms and there is a sticker on them that says you should not put the box in the microwave. Being the enormouse intellectual that I am, I got to wondering. Why would someone put a box of condoms in the microwave? And then I intellectualized it down to "What the hell am I missing?". Because everyone always knows something that I don't know. Of this I am sure.
I read Annalise's post right before dinner. Michael is telling me dinner is ready just as I am leaving my comment. I closed down the computer and walked into the kitchen and asked Artie what she knew about microwaving condoms. Hey, she's 18 I'm sure there's a bucket load of stuff that she knows that I don't know. I've enjoyed 11 condom free years thanks to that vasectomy Michael had. I was sure she had to know. All she could say was "Mom!!!" and then when I was explaining why I wanted to know she covered her ears and sang, "La, La, La, La.". I finally weasled it out of her that she had no idea. Do you think that she was trying to shut me up?
Michael and I pondered this subject while we were getting the food on the table. He personally liked the idea that nobody wants a 'chilly willy'. We both agree that microwaving a condom is for those that really want to get pregnant but feel that they have to use the condom because they need to pretend that they don't want to get pregnant. Not the sort of person I want to be hanging out with.
Xan and her friend Gretchen came in to join us for dinner. Of course, if it was just Xan I would have continued the conversation. Embarrassing the hell out of our girls is just one of the services that I offer. Well, the conversation kept coming back to the 'thing' that I really didn't feel I should mention in front of Getchen. After a little while of the poor kid being in the dark my sense of not being rude took over. I told her about what I had read. I lean over to her and say I know how it feels when people are talking about something and not telling you what they are talking about. I hate exclusion like that so I am going to tell you what we are talking about. Xan knew it was coming, she cringed. Artie picked up her plate and started to walk out of the kitchen. I put my motherly foot down and made her come back. I lean over to Gretchen and say, "Do you know what a condom is?" Dead silence. Then she made eye contact and nodded. I told her about the blog. She laughed. Everything is allright if they laugh. Xan whined, "Mom!!!!".
It was over. Gretchen got included. I hate exclusion I can't put up with it under most circumstances.
Gretchen's mom calls us her 'colorful friends'...I have a reputation to live up to.
So dear Jane we are sisters in the 'no filter' realm.
Annalise thanks for prompting a very funny and fun dinner.
And to me...I am proud to be an openminded mom.
Ah, you should have seen their faces.