Wouldn't it just be easier?

We stood under the florescent lights of the big box pet store.
He with his pupils so dilated from the drops the eye doctor put in them. Wearing my blue sunglasses with the groovy metal dots on the sides. Wearing my sunglasses even though the sun ha set already and it's about 10 degrees outside.
I with the all natural, no chemical anything, get rid of the fleas cat medicine in my hands.
I had to read all the ingredients to him. He couldn't see a damn thing.
"No not that one, it won't work", he says emphatically. And believe me my husband knows emphatic.
"But she had such a terrible reaction to the last flea medicine we gave her. I don't want to do that to any of us again", I answer back. And believe me the last time we gave Ethel flea medicine we might as well of sprinkled Angel Dust in her cat food. She did not have a good trip.
I read all the labels to him and he picks out one that we did not use last time and he says very convincingly (and he can be very f***ing convincing), "This is not the chemical we used last time and after it happened I went on line and did some research. This is the one to use. This all natural stuff will not kill fleas and won't work."
"Alright we will use this one."
So, here I am almost 24 hrs. after I gave her the medicine. Another bad trip for my precious baby. Michael is off in Virginia at a show. The girls and I got hardly any sleep last night. This trip is lasting way longer than the last one. I called the vet and since she's eating and drinking she feels that we should just ride it out. All day long I have been on edge and hyper sensitive.
Damn! Damn! Damn!
Sometimes I wish that no one was allowed to make any of the choices except for me.
Wouldn't it just be easier?

...a layer of dust.

I love a city with good (to me anyway) public art. I truly like Philadelphia for it's art. New York City takes care with its art in Central Park. Amsterdam is a cherished place (I love the architecture there and because this is my blog I will call that public art too). I like Lancaster, PA because I am a sucker for 'turn of the century' brick buildings. London has some very impressive sculptures and monuments. Cairo doesn't have much but it is exotic and I like it there. But, Paris has ART. Sculptures everywhere for your eyes to feast on. Oh I forgot Washington, DC. Poor Capital (or is it Capitol?) she's a grand city with some very impressive public art.
But, Paris has ART...There is art on the way to the Metro...At the end of the pavilion that houses that flower market...On the side of a building...As you stroll through the park (by the way, there was some guide book that I read that said that Paris did not have many public parks, they were wrong!)...On the way to the restaurant supply store...And yet another park that Paris supposedly does not have...
If you look up you might find this...I am an aesthetic person. I like my surrounding to please my eye. I love Lopez for that reason. I could ride around Lopez everyday of my life and never get bored with the scenery. I have a favorite hill just above the library that when you are at the top you can see Fisherman Bay and beyond into the Sound. I love that view. I think that I could walk Paris for everyday of my life and never get bored with the aesthetic details of that city.
So why doesn't my house feel like an aesthetic paradise? Why is there always a pile of stuff (junk) somewhere on a porch or in the yard? Why does the inside always look like a whirlwind of dishes and chaos.
I guess it is because I am out there wandering the streets of the world with my mind elsewhere feeling the weather all the while my vacuum accumulates nothing but a layer of dust.

Breath Victoria. Breath Victoria.

Sometimes you meet someone standing in line at the supermarket or you talk to someone on the phone in some customer service capacity and you think that it would be great to get to know them. That is how I feel about Monica who is in the planning department office in Paducah, Kentucky.
Monica is the contact person for the Artist Relocation Program there. We've talked about 4 or 5 times now and I'm wondering if she will be the only person that I can relate to there. Monica has been so gracious handling my very frank questions about religion (YES, I know it's the bible belt!), people, school, homeschooling, organic produce, and anything that pops into my head.
"We are Unitarian Universalists and I'm not finding a congregation there. Do you know if there is one?" I ask bluntly. All the while thinking this woman is going to black-ball us even before we get there.
"No there isn't. We had that problem too when we were deciding to move here." she answered so matter of factly.
Here's the deal. According to what we hear and the people that we have talked to down there is that you may not want to live in Kentucky but you want to live in Paducah.
The question is, do I want to live in Paducah?
There are other artist relocation programs. Another one that I am considering is in Cumberland, MD. They do not offer as great a financial package but they have lots of tax bennies. There is also a culinary school there. That would be great for Xan.
Last night I called the contact person for the Kentucky Home Educators Association.
"I am going to be frank and ask you if there are any homeschool groups in Paducah that are not christian based," I asked mustering up the courage because I was afraid I was really going to offend this woman.
"Oh, honey this is the bible belt dear. Of course they are all christian. I don't know of any group in Paducah that is not christian based," she sweetly answered.
Breath Victoria. Breath Victora.
She goes on to tell me that she has spoken there several times and that the group doesn't seem to be overly christian. They do not require you to sign a document of faith like some other groups. A DOCUMENT OF FAITH!!! I gasped. I never knew that groups did that. I am even starting to hyperventilate as I write this.
I am going to go and kick the tires that's all. I am not going to go prejudge the situation. I can live surrounded by christians. (Can you hear me repeating this over and over in my head?)
The homeschool thing has thrown me for a loop. And I don't even have all the information yet.
There must be at leat one other non-christian homeschooling household in Paducah, right? Maybe in my fantasy of fantasies there will be 5 non-christian homeschooling families.
Breath Victoria. Breath Victoria.