MY BLOG HAS MOVED

Hi There All.
It's been a while and I've been busy creating a new website for Terra Cottage Ceramics and a new home for my blog. I've moved everything over to a wordpress template. You can now officially find me over at

www.terracottageceramics.com

Blessings Abound,
Victoria

...onto the next task of the day.

I still haven't taken pictures of our new house and all it's box glory. Sorry.
Just wanted to get that out of the way so I could move on rather guilt free....
It's a busy show month for us. Last weekend we were in Pittsburgh at the 'Three Rivers Arts Festival". We were slam dunk busy and it was a good time. The Wailers played on Sunday evening and it was a nice way to end the show.
So, I'm home for 2 days and running around like a mad woman. Today we (Michael, Xan, and I) are being filmed by a new film maker that is making a documentary about LowerTown (the arts district that we live in). And that means this morning is shopping morning. Petsmart, Office Depot (or Max, whatever it is) and Sam's Club are all on my hit parade.
Did you fell that? The wind?
That was me racing past onto the next task of the day.

Enjoy Mary's writing.....

I want to share a blog with you that my friend Mary writes. Jane she reminds me of you in the way that she is so lyrical and deep and expressive.
I have been so excited about the responses to my post about manifestation, the law-of-attraction, and Abraham.
I think that Mary's post titled, 'where spirit meets matter', should be required reading in every household and public forum across the world. Yeah, I do Mary!! She has put into words what I have always known to be true. And by the by...I don't know how to link to a specific post so you get the added bonus of listening to her most current one titled, 'peace', and then the one I want you to read is next.
So please forgive me Mary for not asking your permission first. I kinda figured that if we're writing here on the internet it's for everyone.
I have been thinking about it and I have decided to create a whole line of posts on deliberately creating and asking some of my friends to do some guest posts.
Enjoy Mary's writing.....

It's my lame excuse and I'm sticking to it!

I'm feeling scattered. I put that comment up on my facebook page and put out the offer that anyone could come over and help me find my bits. I got a funny array of responses.
And I still feel scattered. I dislike it when I have a feeling and I can't trace it's roots. Why am I feeling this way? It beats the bananas out of me!!!! And what I dislike most is that when I get to feeling this particular way I don't seem to get much accomplished. I can't even figure out where to start.
It's like standing in some sort of void that is filled with fog and I just walk around and around with my arms outstretched trying to find something. Anything! I find nothing. Nothing to touch, grasp, anchor my direction too. Nothing.
Jane be proud....I then make lists. Lists help. They really do. Yesterday I made a list and spent most of the day sorting our mail (man, a couple weeks of non-attention really makes a pile), bringing all our show files up to date (some of them I just want to ignore because 1 show wants you to bring proof that your tent is fire retardant, another says you can't use an E-Z-UP tent which we have, another one we have to check in at 10:45 at night and unload our booth in the dark) and figuring out the logistics for the next three shows coming up. This took me most of the day. I know, I know you are all thinking that I know how to have fun, fun, fun.
I even washed the 'new to us' 3 welled sink in the early evening. Xan and I were out there scrubbing off grease with a vengeance.
I emailed our friend Will and gave him all the different scenarios that could be applied to his daughter (Xan's best friend) coming to visit us in a few weeks. YAY!
And with each task I got to make a deliberate scratch on my list.
This done.
That done.
And I still feel scattered.
Maybe it's the boxes that are being left unopened. Or the make-shift shower still being make-shift. Or the table loom that I bought on ebay that is still sitting nicely packed in the box that it arrived in.
Or maybe it's Mars. Yeah let's blame it on some planetary alignment.
The planets are out of whack and therefore I can't get seem to grasp the feeling that I've got my shit together.
It's my lame excuse and I'm sticking to it!

...feel better?

This is something that I wrote as a comment on a friend's blog. I want to share it with everyone because I have been meaning to write about my views on manifestation and the law-of-attraction for a while now. I was thinking that maybe we could get a group of people to play......

Ok...the game background, where I'm coming from and other ramblings by Victoria Terra:
For many years I have been interested in manifestation, law of attraction stuff, and deliberate creation. I follow and practice the teachings of a group of entities that call themselves Abraham and they channel through a woman named Esther Hicks.
As an aside....before we moved here I found out about a group of individuals that meet at the local library once a week and study Abraham. Michael, my husband, and I meet with them once a week. We read and talk about stuff and try to put what we are learning into daily practice. Anywho....
I believe that we are the creators of our realities and that creation is manifested through our thoughts. What we think is what is reflected back into our lives (law of attraction). What I love about Abraham is that they talk about spirit and our connection to that part of ourselves. I believe that I am spirit having a journey in a human body.
Now, the physical guide (the part of ourselves that is our compass) is our emotions. When we are connected to spirit (or source energy) we feel positive emotions (like happiness, enthusiasm, joy) and when we are not connected we feel less positive emotions (like frustration, fear, anger). When one is working on attracting and manifesting they have their guidance system of emotions to let them know how they are doing.
Now...you ask for something (ask the universe, god, goddess, whatever it is that you believe in). I call it 'Manager'. So I tell my Manager that I want a new car. Let's say I want a Toyota Hybrid Prius and that is what I ask my Manager for. Now after I ask it is my job to allow myself to have it. It is my task to align my vibration with the vibration of allowing myself to have that car. Tricky.
This is where our emotional compass comes into play. Positive emotions align and connect us to our source energy and the creating of our wants. Not so positive emotions create a block and we then cannot align or connect to our source energy and therefore can't create what we are wanting.
Now...there is a game that Abraham suggests we play where we write down the things that are frustrating us, things that are making us unhappy and we re-write them in a way that makes us feel better. That raises our vibration.
In a nutshell:
If you take the statements of dis-satisfaction and you re-write them in a way that makes you feel better (gives you hope for instance) then you will feel better and by feeling better you raise your vibration (energy) to be more of a match to your source energy and then you can attain what you are wanting.
It's all there for the taking really. We can have whatever it is that we want. It's just that we keep getting in our own way. Hah!
So, what do you think. Want to post some statements that we (your friends) can help you turn around into more positive things and make you feel better?

Silly me.

I have an amazing daughter. Well, two actually but this time I want to brag on the oldest, Artie.
I was feeling lonely here in my new neighborhood, in my new house. Feeling left out and rather sorry for myself. It's nothing new really. I have felt this way before, probably will again. And I have felt this way every time that we have moved.
I think that I'm over friendly by a couple of degrees. I am a bit 'too much' for people. Too open. Too friendly. Too intimate. As a result, I sit around waiting for new friends to catch up with what I already know....that I am sincere in my love for them.
So, I was feeling lonely and left out. I was thinking about how I'd been here before (who hasn't, right?) and I would just ride it out like I have in the past. I was giving it a lot of thought (because being lonely really isn't pleasant especially the part where you think people aren't warming up to you). You know how there can be one or two people in a group that aren't particularly taken with you and that colors your whole perspective? I hate it when that happens and I tend to fall into that trap.
It occurred to me that Artie had talked about this a while back. She was sharing with me her feelings of loneliness and trying to create ways to get yourself 'unstuck' out of self-pitying behavior. Artie is a great 'intention' creator. She will grab onto an intention and fly with it. She will decide that she is going to open and friendly and make friends. And damn she will. She will decide that she going to think good thoughts all day. And damn she will. She is terrific at deliberately creating. She sets a mean example, my kid.
I was thinking about her and how I have seen in action the power of turning a situation around. So I thought that I should put a post up on my facebook page and on the neighborhood email list that I was going to the movies that night and whoever wants to come over beforehand for wine, cheese, and salad should come on by and then we could all go to the movies together.
I got to fill my table with a group of lovely folk. I got to fill my heart with warmth. I got to see a good movie with a gaggle of fellow movie buffs. I got to remind myself that I am cherished and well liked in the eyes of my neighbors. Believe me, the feeling is mutual.
Loneliness. Feelings of not being liked. Oh, I'm sure that I'll feel those emotions again. Who won't, right?
Hear this my dear friends...when these not good for anything much feelings seep into your being put yourself out there and invite someone over. Do the opposite of what that self-destructive thought pattern in your head is telling you to do. Throw away the pillow so you can't hide under it. For every person that is not attracted to you there a 10 who love and adore you.
I forgot that for a minute.
Silly me.

...I feel complete.

These are pictures of our mailbox and our dome on Lopez Island.
I just got off the phone with a guy that is leasing our meadow from us out on Lopez. It made me homesick to talk about plum trees, the heirloom apples, and the old well. We talked about the history of our property. How Michael and I sat down with one of the island old timers and heard his stories of how he and his father cut down all the apple trees on our land (it was an apple orchard) and how they pulled up all the roots with a team of horses.
We talked about how our leasee's daughter has named all the sheep that he has running on the land at the moment. We talked about what you do with wild roses and canary grass. How to get rid of them is what we really talked about. Burn em? Disc the field?
Do I look like I know such things?
It was a joy to hear that the heirloom plum trees that stand over by the place that was the original farm house are now producing some fruit. They were prolific for the first three years we owned the property and then they got some sort of fungus and we never did figure out what to do about it. I'm glad that our decision to let nature run it's course worked out OK in the long run.
Lopez.
The whole time that we lived in Saratoga Springs I told people that I was from Lopez. Since living in Paducah, I have told people that I from Paducah. I guess I must like it here so far. I do. I like our house (I will post pictures soon). I like our neighborhood. I like being able to walk to the river and to downtown. I like the activities that I am getting involved in. Last night I started my new volunteer job of co-chairing the committee that is screening films for a local film festival here called The Rivers Edge Film Festival. It was great!!! What a hardship to have to sit around and critique films. Oh, it was so hard (ha, ha). I am also involved with a group of women called, COW. Yeah, I'm a COW. It stands for Community Of Women and all they do is fund-raise and do good deeds. How lucky can I be?
I miss my dear sweet dome on Lopez. Michael designed and built her. She has driftwood posts on the inside that hold up the loft. The railing on the stairs is also driftwood. How could we leave? How could we go back and still make money? Ah, the decisions that that thing called 'destiny' is made of.
So, here I sit on my couch in my 'new to me' 4000 sq ft. house that is a grand 130-ish years old and I'm thinking that my destiny has been pretty good so far. Will we ever live full time back on Lopez? I don't know but I do know that our meadow is being well cared for, that our friend Jeffery (who lives on our land) is well and resurrecting the garden, and our dome can be seen by all who drive by as a reminder that 'those hippies' still have a place in the world.
In this moment....I feel complete.

I do love you all.

I have been writing posts in me head. I dream about them in my sleep. I now sit here in front of the computer and I'm blank. I feel like a newly washed black chalkboard at the front of the class.
Not that I'm empty or anything. Hopefully far from it. Just that I had so many great ideas and now I can't remember a lick of 'em.
We moved into our house. About a month ago. The house that we were renting next door sold and we moved in here. It was time in so many ways but....now we are camping with a make-shift shower set up and boxes. Oh, my life is full of boxes! How many of you can relate? I'm waiting on Michael to create the shelving so I can do some more unpacking. But, you know, I lived in a travel trailer for 3 years while we built our dome on Lopez and this is a walk in the park. Seriously.
Xan is off on an Alaskan Cruise with her grandmother having a ball. Artie is still at make-up special effects school and having a ball. I (flying solo without Xan) did a soft opening of The Kookie Bar this weekend and had a ball. And Michael had his studio up and running this weekend and had a ball. We're just a bouncy family.
I have missed my blogger community. I think of you often and I'm ready to be a more faithful friend and poster.
I don't know what my absence was about. Don't feel like I need to know either.
I bought a (what I think and hope) is a very cool little table loom on ebay last week. I have been itching to weave and even though I'm not a table loom lover it is an affordable way to get me started and keep me creative. It's been a bit of a disappointment here because I have not met any other active weavers. I miss my group in Saratoga. You see...there is something about Saratoga that I miss. That's about it so far.
We are getting closer to a court date about the whole estate deal. Yeah, we are still dealing with that. How many years has it been?! The executrix finally, FINALLY, submitted the final accounting and last week we (our lawyer) turned in our objections to it. Now we wait....
Just a couple of days ago I booked four roundtrip tickets to Dublin, Ireland. No kidding. We are taking this trip in honor of my in-laws who always talked about going and never did. They even had a large jug that they saved money into (of course that too never saw it's way into the estate). So we found a great deal. We bought the tickets and we're going to figure out the car rental and where we're going to stay later. We go in February by the way. Thus the cheap airfare.
Many have been bugging me about getting some pics of the new home up on the air waves. It's on my radar and will probably happen soon.
You should check out Michael's blog "www.paducahpossible.blogspot.com" and see the wedding cake that we made for a dear, dear friend a couple of months ago. We felt just like "Ace of Cakes" transporting our baby in our van through Brooklyn. It was a funny adventure.
So that's it folks. I think that I will end (for now) my random babbling to catch you all up on what's been going on around here.
I do love you all!!!!

I have a houseful.

I have a house full of cats. Seriously. We have Ethel who traveled here with us. Then in the beginning of December we went to Petsmart and adopted Cadbury for Xan. Artie took in a stray at college and so cleverly convinced me that Daisy was just the sweetest, sweetest little thing. Artie brought home Daisy the sweetest cat sill in survivor, sorta feral, mode that any sweet cat could be in.
We now have three cats in a small two bedroom house.
It's working out OK.
Cadbury who truly is the sweetest cat ever is a bit terrorized. Ethel has thrown her paws up in the air and is looking at us with an expression of, "Why? Why? Why did you do this?" And Daisy will let you touch her (maybe) for a second or two before your fingers are potential hamburger meat.
In honor of our kitty circus here at Terra Cottage I am sharing a funny youtube video (and because I now know how to post videos and I'm going to be obnoxious about it).
First is this one:
I'm just waiting for the day that our cats achieve such harmony.
Now here is the translation:
I have a houseful.

Hee, hee, hee.

OK I have figured out how to get some youtube videos onto my blog!!!
Oh happy day for us all.
And now you can all start the New Year off with some laughter.
May the incoming year bring us all some humor and hope.





Hee, hee, hee.

Happy Merry Y'all!!!

Happy Merry Y'all!!!

It's good to be home.

I have arrived home. It was good to get off at the Paducah exit and think about home. I'm calling it home.
It's starting to feel like home.
Home.
Home is good.
I flew back East last week to pick up my Mom. We were all feeling uneasy about her driving to Paducah (from MA) by herself and the minute she mentioned that she wanted to pick up Artie at college that was it. The day that I heard that bit of news I got online and booked myself a flight to Providence, RI. I called her and much to her annoyance I flew back to accompany her on her trip.
It took us four days mostly of which were just fine. There was that one day of rain that I could of have done without. At times we couldn't even see the end of the front of the car. I would be driving along and suddenly there were be nothing. NOTHING. I just kept thinking to myself that it couldn't last forever and not to try to hard to think about the tractor trailer in front of me or the one behind me. I think that I lost a few brain cells from the lack of breathing that I did.
But we made it! Mom, her dog, Artie, her cat, and I. It's good to be off the road. Artie is full of funny college stories just like any typical college student. Only her stories involve blood and gunk. She insisted on bringing home two sculptures. One that she is working on for a final project and one that is a gift for Michael. My Mom, her dog, Artie, her cat, me, a trunk overloaded, and two sculptures.
I know, I know....my life is a traveling circus. I felt like the clown car hurling down the by-ways to the carnival.
It's good to be home.

...word of the day for the last few weeks.

Changes.
Really big changes.
Well, maybe not that big.
As I was driving out of the parking lot of (dare I say it?) Sam's Club. I was struck with the battle I have been having with myself. I am being faced with the art of 'acceptance'.
For example, there are many grocery stores here. None of them are particularly "wow" in what they have to offer. I want my Cabot cheese and my Sabra hummus and my Brookshire Farms turkey sausage. I can get the Cabot cheese and the Sabra hummus at ( I'm gonna say it) Sam's Club The Brookshire Farms turkey sausage is beyond my grasp.
I have shopped more at Walmart here than I have in my whole life. It's the only game in town. We need a dust pan, and waste basket, and coffee maker and pyrex pans. Where are we gonna go? I went online and looked for a Target. I like Target. I feel better when I choose the lesser evil of Target. The closest Target is over an hour away. Not worth it for a dust pan.
We get a magazine called 'Fast Company'. For me it is wildly interesting and I always pick up some nugget of information that feeds my head. Well, last year we were vacationing in Mexico and we had brought along the recent copy. An article in there stuck with me. It was about this guy (name long forgotten) who is a major activist and into environmental rights. If I remember correctly he went from GreenPeace ? to consulting for Walmart (the Walmart part I know is correct). He was getting all sorts of major flack from his peers. His thinking was that Walmart is huge! in America and why not work for one of the giants and teach them about being more environmentally conscious. Seriously, this guy is on a mission from a higher source.
I like to think that he is still helping Walmart. I like to think that by buying my 'need to have's' at Sam's Club and Walmart that somehow I am helping to support him support the greater good.
Or am I just pissing in the wind and there's a tangy taste of urine in my mouth?
As an Abraham follower (and someday I will share with you all about Abraham), I believe that we create our own reality. I have held the belief of the evils of Walmart and have never liked to shop there. And here I am giving over my hard earned money for some Vermont cheese that I just gotta have.
OK Abraham, I am going to change my reality. I am focusing on all the good that Walmart can accomplish. They are a powerful presence in our country and for the moment I am going to give it/them all the appreciation I can muster and hopefully I'll learn a thing or two along the way.
Acceptance...it's been my word of the day for the last few weeks.

Much love, The Terra Family

This is a letter that I wrote to some extended family members that are getting married. We were invited to their shower but it's too far away to make it. Instead we found them an old cake plate and made them cookies. We mailed out the package yesterday....
December 4, 2008

Dearests,

There come many times in our life that we truly wish to send the perfect gift. Sometimes this gift is happened upon by the gift giver and when laying eyes upon that certain something they know in their heart that the gift receiver will just love it. They may not be personally drawn to that gift but they just know how perfect it will be for the receiver. Sometimes the gift giver happens upon something that they themselves just love and with a full heart they want to share their love for that gift with the receiver. The receiver may not have otherwise had the opportunity to have been exposed to such a thing.
With that in mind we have happened upon something that we just loved and it took us many trips back to the antique mall and much fondling of this gift before we purchased it for you. We had many heartfelt conversations about how much we wondered if you would like it or be as charmed by it as we are. We gave into our attraction for it and purchased it for you thinking that if you are not drawn to it as we are than we are hoping that everytime you look at it our use it you shall think of us and how this item represents ‘the feel of us’.
We are reminded of the good ole diner days with folks being friendly at the counter sharing stories over pie. We are reminded of good ole hometown hospitality where you can go and knock on your neighbor’s door and ask to borrow a cup of sugar but what you truly want is to visit with a friend for a moment. We love old milk glass and the imprint of the gold is so very ‘Donna Reed’.
We just had to share it and all it makes us think about with you. For you are our family and we love you. We are so thankful to able to cheer along from the sidelines; to pop in every so often and witness the love growing between you both.
So set up your knew cake plate and heap it up with cookies. Grab a glass of milk and sit with each other and share a friendly story about your day. Be reminded of family, friends, and neighbors and be warmed by the generations of cookies, cakes, pies and love that have brought you together in this moment.

You are cherished!

We hope that your Shower party was spectacular. We are sorry to have missed it but we were there in spirit.

Much love,

The Terra Family

...while working away in the window.

Here it is clay fans Michael's first load of art that he is firing in his kiln. It's up. It's running. And he looks like a happy camper. (Personally I think that he is the own inspiration for his artwork.)We are off to Cincinnati, OH tomorrow for an art show. It feels good. As funny as it may sound there is a comfort in knowing that we are getting ready to go on the road. It's what we do. It's the rhythm of Terra. It feels routine and normal.
This past weekend we set up at the neighborhood coffee bar, Etcetera. It was fun to experience the rhythm of the coffee clutch crowd and we got to meet many new friends. This is a picture of the lovely Johanna. She owns the place with her husband, Allen.They are Paducians who decided to invest in Lowertown and what a grand place they have created. Their daughter, Jean, helped them design the bar. Jean was working and I got to hang out with her. She has a bunch of tattoos and when I was looking at a ring of vegetables going around her arm she explained to me that they were all the vegetables that she thought were good to put in a salad. I'm thinkin' that there is a lot to love about this young woman!!! She even has a tat of a clementine behind her ear. What is not to admire about that?!
It was a heart filled day. With new people to meet, Johanna made us dinner, Allen made us laugh, and Michael got to drink all the coffee that he could possibly hold while working away in the window.

I also have a beautiful neighbor.

Our new rental house is very cozy. It has two bedrooms, a bathroom, an open living room & dining room plan, and an open kitchen. Off the kitchen you can find the back door and washer & dryer. In the living room/dining room there are six windows.
SIX GLORIOUS WINDOWS.
A couple of weeks ago I met one of my neighbors who has this great koi pond (with the mother of all koi in there) and has a green thumb. While I was at her house visiting she casually told me that she had a bunch of plants that needed to separate and would I like some.
WOW.
I love house plants and had a cat that destroyed them and then we moved into an apartment (in our house in Saratoga) that didn't have great light or room for lots of plants and for years I have not had many plants in my home. Here I have my SIX GLORIOUS WINDOWS and a cat who won't pee in my plants. I can have plants again.
My neighbor calls me up and says that she has some plants for me on her back porch. She has to take off and go to work but I can just come over and pick them up. Sure! We have errands to do and we'll swing by and pick up some plants.
We stop by her house and what do we find on the back porch? We find an enormous rubber plant, a huge spider plant with babies abounding, a succulent, and a peace lily ready to bloom.
All for me.
I was expecting a few plants in some 4" pots and I got the mother load.
I have SIX GLORIOUS WINDOWS with plants and a cat.
I also have a beautiful neighbor.

...the next long conversation.

STILL.
I have been feeling very still.
The air is still, my heart is still, life is still. I am caught in a moment between arrival and arriving.
I am in mourning for Godiva. Everyday I miss her fat waddle and goofy stare.
I think I have survived the speed bumps and am feeling some of my 'self' return. I just turned around to see Ethel doing round flips chasing her tail. Since Godiva has passed she has been sitting on our laps and purring (a thing that she has not done in the past). Loss followed by a bit of joyous wonder.
We moved.
We have totally lucked into renting a small house that is right next door to our house. Did I tell you that already? It is good to be in our own space. I had an altercation with our landlady and members of her family at our other place and it left me feeling so very misunderstood and frustrated and not welcomed. It was a crummy situation to end up in during my first week here. Dealing with my feelings of being misplaced, not really knowing anyone, loosing Godiva to her new adventures, and then having our landlady being very harsh with me has left me feeling still.
As a child I would sit in my closet and have long talks with ghosts. Usually while sneaking a smoke. Even in my most troubled moments I have known that I am not alone. As an adult I consult with my spirit on a regular basis. Without the smoke.
I have decided (during my long conversations with self and spirit) that it is good to be still and feel all these feelings. To step back and be self-involved and introspective. And even if it is good or not it is what I have been doing.
Today Xan and I shall start homeschooling. Last week we went to two homeschool events here in town and met some very nice people, I volunteered at the Krispy Kreme Donut Fundraiser for Xan's chorus, and on Halloween Xan and I dressed up and gave out cookies shaped liked witch's fingers to our neighbors.
I think that I am stepping out of the closet turning back to tell myself to hold that thought till the next long conversation.

I am here.

I don't know where to start. So I shall start here.
I am here.
I made it.
Michael and Xan flew into Albany late on Thursday night and we spent the weekend packing up the 28 foot 'pup' (as it is called in the biz). We had friends and family there all weekend standing around why Michael's brain considered the complexities of how to fit three 20 foot storage units into this 'pup' and then we all went into action as he directed and pointed about at things and we brought them up for loading. HE DID IT! That amazing man made it all fit and we brought some stuff from the house and made that fit as well. It was a glorious feeling to have to done on Sunday afternoon.
We had our going away party on Saturday evening. Many of our family and friends came to celebrate our time in Saratoga with us. I had a friend make a gluten-free chocolate cake and we bought those disposable cake decorator tubes filled with icing and had everyone sign the cake. We ate the cake in celebration of knowing each other and having all of us together. It was a fun evening. Some relatives on my side of the family had some pre-grumblings about it being a vegetarian potluck but they got over it because there was such a delicious spread!
We packed up the remainder of items from our house and garage, got the cats settled in the van, and we drove off Thursday morning September 25th. We laughed ourselves silly thinking about the 10 hour drive we had ahead of us and how it was the most relaxing thing we had done in weeks. The cats complained for their usual 45 minutes and then settled in. We arrived late at night without incident in New Stanton, PA.
Now it was time to drop off Artie at The Douglas Education Center. We nestled the kitties into our hotel room and made the short drive to Monessen to check Artie into her new house. She was arriving early because of our move and the housing people were making an exception. We arrive get the keys, sign the lease, drive up the ridiculously steep hill to her house, and start the unloading of her stuff. Jeeze, she had a lot of stuff! This kid was set with enough food and kitchen supplies to open her own her cafe. A few boys came out of the woodwork to help and meet the new girl. Her new house is nothing exceptional and her new room is bigger than if she was in a dorm so it's a good trade-off. Michael and I spent the afternoon at Lowe's getting her some muchly needed shelving and went over to the dreaded Walmart and picked her up some hangers and some more pots (I swear she needed them!). She opted to stay the night be herself in the house figuring that she would have to do it sometime and she wanted us to be in close vicinity for that emergency phone call. She was great! She spent three days sleeping all be herself alone in the house before the other kids arrived.
The next day we goofed off in Pittsburgh. We went to this place called the "Mattress Factory" it is a museum that is all art installations. It was very cool and real creative turn on. We then headed over to Trader Joes to do some stocking up for Artie and ourselves. Again we have chosen to live somewhere not near a Trader Joes.
On Sunday we said good-bye to Artie and drove off in rain toward West Virginia and Kentucky.
It was an uneventful drive through hilly West Virginia and into the flatness of mid-Kentucky. We laughed, we listened to a book on tape. We arrived on Monday afternoon.
Home. I am home.
There has been an adjustment period (I'm still in it). I surprised myself that I would feel such a sense of being dis-placed. Everyone is so nice. The air is soft. The sounds are gentle. I am feeling quite out of sorts.
The first few days I moped about. I think it was because I had so much focus and so much to focus on this summer and then I arrive and don't know what to do with myself. The house is coming along nicely. Michael learned that not so much gets done in his absence. I love to walk through and imagine it all done. We are in the process of insulating, sheetrocking, and laying flooring. Our shed was completed one hour before we started unpacking the 'pup'. Michael got some lovely strong burly men to help with all the big furniture and the potter's wheels. Since I have been here we have purchased a fridge, a dishwasher, and a grill. We have acquired a totally groovy antique stove for my Mom's apartment.
This weekend is our first art show since May. I was so looking forward to it but alas I got sick. I am sick with a cold. I think I've working into this tragic cold since about July. It finally truly got me by the balls (so to speak) and I am it's grasp.
And...this past Friday night our beloved cat, Godiva, passed over into spirit. It was a very sad evening and I am beating myself up with not treating her warning signs with more timely concern. We ended up at the Vet's at around 12:30am and Godiva passed over not 10 minutes later. The vet, bless his heart, worked so compassionately and diligently to save her life but she was gone. I still can't believe it. Xan was there and witnessed her first close death. I was there holding Godivan and trying to keep her convulsing legs out of the way of the doctor. We are saddened and heart heavy this weekend. I am so fortunate the universe conspired to make me ill, to keep me home with Xan this weekend (who was going to stay home alone...can you imagine?). The vet seems to think that Godiva has kidney failure. There is a possibility that she got into something toxic. Yesterday Xan and I spent the whole afternoon in our bedroom (where we have been keeping our cats) watching movies and checking Ethel every 10 seconds to see how she is doing. She is doing just fine, by the way.
I am reminded of being a young child and heading off to the vets with a sick pet and having my parent go in there and not coming out with our beloved pet. Now here I am the parent with a child of my own who witnessed the sometimes unpleasantness of passing. I am the parent who comforted my child while saying goodbye to our beloved pet. I am the parent who reassured her that it was Godiva's time and there was nothing we could do. I am the parent who took off Godiva's name tag and told the vet that we need her cremated so that we can plant her in the garden. Xanny lost it in the clinic, I lost it when we got home. Xan stood in the kitchen at 2am saying, "Hey Mom, we switched. Now you are crying."
And I, the parent said, "Well, someone had to drive us home."
I am here.

Happy dance.

This is what I saw as I looked out my window this morning...And this is what I saw as I was outside moving the van...
This is my house.The 'for sale' signs went up yesterday.
My house is 'FOR SALE' and I'm moving in two weeks.
Two weeks.
Two weeks.
Happy dance!

Good Morning.

This morning I woke up at 4:30 when Artie's alarm went off for work. Felt very scratchy and congested so I took some aspirin and Defense Plus and went back to sleep.
Next thing I know is that the phone is ringing so I get up to answer it. "Funny," I think. "It's still dark outside."
It was 5:30 and whoever was supposed to open with Art had not showed up so she had me pawing through her files trying to find a phone number of someone that she would deem useful in this situation. None of the numbers that she had were for anyone of enough authority so I hung up and went back to bed.
The phone rings again. She had decided that the minnow that was of no importance just minutes ago is now a shark and must be called. (Really, I had just climbed back into bed!)
I am so good!
I got her the number and just as I'm reading it to her for the 3rd time (I don't know where she put the earpiece to the phone but it wasn't by her ear while she was trying to write down the number.) John, the assistant manager, arrives sayings, "I'm so sorry!" over and over. I am allowed to stumble back to bed and try to sleep of my congested self.
I awoke with a start. It felt late. I did not put the car in the driveway because I have some big pieces of metal there to go the recycling center.
SHIT.
It was 9am. I haven't slept to 9am since, since, a long time ago.
I grabbed some jeans and race out to the car.
Ah, no ticket.
I move the car across the street and return to the kitchen to make a vitamin C cocktail.
Good morning.