...numb to the core.

I had wonderful plans to blog about my vacation in Mexico. I had anticipated with warm fuzzy thoughts about the blog that would contain the pictures and my thoughts about J. How glorious to meet J and how dear it was going to be to share that with my blogger friends.
Instead....I have spent the last 4 days in hell. In parent hell.
Artie flew off to Austin, TX on Tuesday last week.
On Wednesday the phone calls of need and loneliness started. We have peaked (hopefully peaked) into how much I hate her and won't come out to Austin and be there for her.. How can I? How can I save her from herself? Oh, this is hard folks. I want to get on that plane. I want to go out there and hug here and hold her. I can not.
We are standing back and allowing our oldest to succeed. We are standing back and allowing her to figure out for herself how she is going to help herself feel better.
What growing pains. I am frozen with fear.
Teary eyed and numb to the core.