...a layer of dust.

I love a city with good (to me anyway) public art. I truly like Philadelphia for it's art. New York City takes care with its art in Central Park. Amsterdam is a cherished place (I love the architecture there and because this is my blog I will call that public art too). I like Lancaster, PA because I am a sucker for 'turn of the century' brick buildings. London has some very impressive sculptures and monuments. Cairo doesn't have much but it is exotic and I like it there. But, Paris has ART. Sculptures everywhere for your eyes to feast on. Oh I forgot Washington, DC. Poor Capital (or is it Capitol?) she's a grand city with some very impressive public art.
But, Paris has ART...There is art on the way to the Metro...At the end of the pavilion that houses that flower market...On the side of a building...As you stroll through the park (by the way, there was some guide book that I read that said that Paris did not have many public parks, they were wrong!)...On the way to the restaurant supply store...And yet another park that Paris supposedly does not have...
If you look up you might find this...I am an aesthetic person. I like my surrounding to please my eye. I love Lopez for that reason. I could ride around Lopez everyday of my life and never get bored with the scenery. I have a favorite hill just above the library that when you are at the top you can see Fisherman Bay and beyond into the Sound. I love that view. I think that I could walk Paris for everyday of my life and never get bored with the aesthetic details of that city.
So why doesn't my house feel like an aesthetic paradise? Why is there always a pile of stuff (junk) somewhere on a porch or in the yard? Why does the inside always look like a whirlwind of dishes and chaos.
I guess it is because I am out there wandering the streets of the world with my mind elsewhere feeling the weather all the while my vacuum accumulates nothing but a layer of dust.

Breath Victoria. Breath Victoria.

Sometimes you meet someone standing in line at the supermarket or you talk to someone on the phone in some customer service capacity and you think that it would be great to get to know them. That is how I feel about Monica who is in the planning department office in Paducah, Kentucky.
Monica is the contact person for the Artist Relocation Program there. We've talked about 4 or 5 times now and I'm wondering if she will be the only person that I can relate to there. Monica has been so gracious handling my very frank questions about religion (YES, I know it's the bible belt!), people, school, homeschooling, organic produce, and anything that pops into my head.
"We are Unitarian Universalists and I'm not finding a congregation there. Do you know if there is one?" I ask bluntly. All the while thinking this woman is going to black-ball us even before we get there.
"No there isn't. We had that problem too when we were deciding to move here." she answered so matter of factly.
Here's the deal. According to what we hear and the people that we have talked to down there is that you may not want to live in Kentucky but you want to live in Paducah.
The question is, do I want to live in Paducah?
There are other artist relocation programs. Another one that I am considering is in Cumberland, MD. They do not offer as great a financial package but they have lots of tax bennies. There is also a culinary school there. That would be great for Xan.
Last night I called the contact person for the Kentucky Home Educators Association.
"I am going to be frank and ask you if there are any homeschool groups in Paducah that are not christian based," I asked mustering up the courage because I was afraid I was really going to offend this woman.
"Oh, honey this is the bible belt dear. Of course they are all christian. I don't know of any group in Paducah that is not christian based," she sweetly answered.
Breath Victoria. Breath Victora.
She goes on to tell me that she has spoken there several times and that the group doesn't seem to be overly christian. They do not require you to sign a document of faith like some other groups. A DOCUMENT OF FAITH!!! I gasped. I never knew that groups did that. I am even starting to hyperventilate as I write this.
I am going to go and kick the tires that's all. I am not going to go prejudge the situation. I can live surrounded by christians. (Can you hear me repeating this over and over in my head?)
The homeschool thing has thrown me for a loop. And I don't even have all the information yet.
There must be at leat one other non-christian homeschooling household in Paducah, right? Maybe in my fantasy of fantasies there will be 5 non-christian homeschooling families.
Breath Victoria. Breath Victoria.

...dream house in Paducah, Kentucky?

I am having one those 4am thinks. Just like the ones I've been having all week.
We got back last night. On our way back from Paris we missed our connection in Frankfurt, Germany. Lufthansa put us up in a very militarialistic (if there is even such a word?) hotel and we wandered about Frankfurt for a few hours. We attempted to cross the river Meine on a pedestrian bridge but my fear of heights took over (and I knew it would be worse after the beer) so we stayed on whatever side of the river we were on and went to a real tourist house of beer and got schnockerd on one really big glass of beer each.
Now I'm home and sitting in the cold dark doing email stuff and catching up with life.
Mostly this morning I've been looking at real estate. Yeah, real estate.
I am exhilarated and scared to death.
On the morning of our Bon Voyage to Gay Pareeee I was on the computer booking Michael and I some flights to Paducah, Kentucky. Oh, you read that right. I am willingly trekking to Kentucky.
Back track a moment...
In 1993 I left Tucson, AZ because of a love, a dream, for Lopez Island. We couldn't afford a house there so we bought land. We packed up all our cherished items and U-hauled them out to the island and the day they arrived we unpacked them into a storage unit. They are still there. The items of my life that have such sentimental meaning. The family heirlooms, paintings from my childhood, the dining room table. I have just always referred to is as "my stuff". I use to go to storage periodically and stand there and weep with loss over not being to fit 'my stuff' in our small dome-home.
Those first years on Lopez, as wonderful and as much as I love it there, were so very hard. We were broke, on Welfare, and eventually declared bankruptcy just so we could survive. Those were dark years of waking up crying and going to bed crying. It truly is a wonder that Michael and I are still married after living with all that stress. But we prevailed. We have a small dome-home that Michael designed and built himself. We had enough stamina to pay off our land. It's now mine, and Mother Earth's of course.
But I got to thinking. And this was even before all those early morning 'thinks'. I've been thinking that I want a house. Nothing new to anyone in my family. I want a house with a dining room and a guest bedroom and room for 'my stuff'. I want to live with 'my stuff'. I want to have room for parties and host visiting artists or professors or whatever.
So I said what I had been thinking out loud over christmas.
"What if when we sell our house in Saratoga we do something like buy a property in Paducah, KY (I'll get to "Hello, why Paducah?!" in a minute) and live there in house that we can purchase outright with the money from the sale of the Saratoga house and build up Michael as an artist more before we head back to Lopez?"
I said it and to my shock everyone in the family thinks that it is a good idea.
Paducah, KY is a place that a fellow artist told us about last Fall. This town is offering artists the opportunity to buy buildings in what is called "Lowertown" and make them into artist studios, galleries, and homes. We could buy a 3000 sq. ft. brick Victorian for around $100,000. The program is called 'The Artist Relocation Program'. They offer 100% financing for the price of the building and any rehab that needs to be done. The offer $2,500 in architect fees. Paducah is 2 hours from Nashville and 2 1/2 hours from St. Louis. It's a good location for our business and travellig to art shows. It's right on the Ohio River and the it's a tourist stop for the river boats that cruise up and down. There is some big time quilt museum there. Maybe my dream house if there.
We are thinking that by moving to Paducah it will give us the time that we need to grow our ceramic business to the point that we don't have to travel to so many art shows. And that would make living on Lopez easier.
We are looking for a building that has enough room for a studio, a mother-in-law apartment for my mom, and some sort of cafe/cookie bar for Xan and I start to a business together. All in Paducah, Kentucky.
You say something out loud to the Universe and she takes it and runs. This idea has certainly snow-balled into a serious consideration.
In two weeks I am flying into Nashville with Michael and we are renting a car to drive to Paducah. We will be checking out the scene and seeing if we like it there.
Michael calls it "kicking the tires" and he is very clear that this is all my choice. He is quite clear that we ended in Saratoga because of his needs and now it is my turn to do something for my needs. I get to start the paragraph for this chapter.
Not move back to Lopez after dreaming of nothing else for 8 years?
Shit, what if I do find my dream house in Paducah, Kentucky?

I'm thinking crepes for breakfast.

It is amazing how many things you can think about between the hours of 1am and 4am. I've has lots of early morning 'thinks' this week. Oh well, so much for the homeopathic jet-lag remedy. Xan was saying yesterday when everyone asks her about her trip to Paris she will look at them sleepy eyed and say, "(Yawn) Did I see Paris?"
I agree with Annalise, Paris is a beautiful city. I have been to many cities in my lifetime. London, Edinburgh, Cairo, Madrid, Malmo, Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Los Angeles, New York, Seattle... It has struck me here that because the streets are narrow and curved I don't get the sense of being in a big place. It's not like being in New York where everything is set up like a grid and you can see all the way down Broadway or Fifth Avenue. The color of Paris is beige. All the building are built out ot beige stone. I was surprised by that. I don't know what I was expecting but I guess it wasn't beige. I was struck by how grey Madrid was when I was there. I was always struck by how 'tall' New York is when I lived there. I am struck by Paris' beigeness.
Yesterday we walked past the French Judicial building. I now know exactly what the US Supreme Court building was modelled after. The Supreme Court building is so lovely to me. I have been thinking about all of our great buildings in the US and where their influence comes from. I am walking around here thinking this and suddenly everything I see here I see imitated at home. When walking along the Seine, Xan and I comment that the building we see reminds us of this beautiful old Railroad building that is in Albany, NY. I was thinking that the Parliament (sp?) building in London is a very similiar landscape to this row of buildings that are near Notre Dame. I wonder what was built first? And both built right along the river.
For the past two days we have been over at Notre Dame. Not specifically to see the church (which we did) but to see first the flower market and then the exotic bird market. Notre Dame is a stunning piece of architecture. We walked around inside and out. Imagine being some pure shlub in the 1400's wandering around and you come upon something like Notre Dame. You live in a mud hut and here is this gargantuan monolithic structure full of sculptures and stain glass. Imagine seeing something like that for the first time and it is all built in the the name of a god. Well, The God. How many people got converted this way? I felt the same way when I went to Glastonbary Abbey in England. Oh the poor shlubs.
Today we are off the Louvre. Xan has a list of things we want to see so we will go on a 'treasure hunt'.
I'm thinking crepes for breakfast.

Au Revoir my friends...

I think that it is a pretty safe bet to assume that Annalise is not awake every morning from 3am to 5am. I awake and think "Jeeze I wonder what Annalise is doing right now? Ah, sleeping like all good people in this part of the world are. Just like I should be." Alas I am not.
I am having a wonderful time. In the future when people tell that the French are rude and not very nice I will have to disagree with them. I speak no French and even without Michael to interpret I am finding the people here to be warm and charming.
Yesterday we took a tour of Le Cordon Bleu. Very small school for the all the hype. We got to spend a few minutes watching some classes. It was very cool to hear the master chef speak in the french and the interpreter to translate in english and the students to talk amoungst themselves in a variety of languages. We found a groovy chocolate shop where Michael and I bought some chocolate raisins that had been soaked in armangac. They were so tasty! Xan got a variety of chocolates and we have been taste testing them. I (not on purpose) found Pierre Hermes, a chocolate and macaron store. Macarons are these merengue cookies that have a creamy filling. A kilo costs 74 euros (yes, that's a lot!) and we bought three of them. A chestnut, a rose petal, and an olive oil one. We sat in the buffet at the Eiffel Tower overlooking the Seine and at our very decadent Pierrre Hermes macarons. I loved them all for their exotic and unusual tastes and textures. Xan did not like any of them and Michael likes the macarons that do not having any filling better than these chick litte wonders. We were in the store and people were buying huge boxes of them. There are even truffle flavors.
Today we are off to the flower market and I am being reminded that we better motivate.
Au Revoir my friends....

Kiss, kiss until later.

SSSHHHH! Everyone is asleep.
I must say that I've tried to get a blog in for the past two days but we were too busy packing and running around taking care of all our last minute errands.
I'm in Paris.
Did you hear?
I'm in Paris.
We are in our apartment. Which I must say is the size of a postage stamp and cute as all hell. The owners met us here this morning after our night flight and handed us croissants (ooohhh they were good, but I had only 1 bite because I really can't do the gluten these days) and the keys. The wife, Sandy, is Canadian and a voice-over artist.
As I sit here on a wee stool typing, Xan is in the tiny little roll-away sleeping but a few feet away from us. My feet are cold. I'm embarrassed to say that I've turned the heat almost all the way up and it's still chilly in here. Welcome to Paris! Xan looks so sweet sleeping in Paris. I can see her auburn dyed head peeping out of the red wool blanket. By the way, I've got to find another blanket for me because I awoke from my nap with cold feet. But I can't get to the armour because Xan's tiny little roll away bed is in the way. Meaning...I can't unpack or nothin'.
I want these lay abouts to wake up so that we can go the market that Sandy told us about this morning. She says they have regional fruits and vegetable and do all sorts of samples. SAMPLES. I love samples. And I really think I'm going to love SAMPLES in Paris. Why won't they wake up?
So, here I am on day one of Xan's 'Coming of Age' trip. I will try and post everyday and write about all the tastes and sounds. Our goal is to photograph every meal that we eat. Alas I won't be able to post pictures until we get home.
Today as we took the subway to get to our apartment I noticed that the foot traffic was so fast. People were movin' man! It was like one big ant farm.
Also, we got in at 6am and it was pitch dark. We got to the apartment at 9am and the sun still hadn't come out. Very dark and grey here so far.
I am tickled by the fact that I am in the same (or pretty damn close to it) as Annalise. I always think of her eating lunch while I eat breakfast and I'm sleeping while she is eating her breakfast. Now dear Annalise we can be eating at the same time and starting our days in unison. Just thinkin' and being kinda giddy from 3 hours of sleep.
We used a homeopathic rememdy "No Jet-Lag". I think that so far it's great.
Kiss, Kiss until later.

Shall we take a ride?

I hope that all my friends had some joyous holidays.
I wish you all a warm and hunker-down winter full of hot soup and roasted root vegetables.
Food is always on my mind. You too?
Anybody who knows me (or has seen me) knows that I am a large woman. My children tell me that I have a Goddess figure. For me being over weight is sort of a triumph. I grew up with the constance influence that the only thing a woman has to offer is her looks. In high school I was thin. Believe me not before that! I was a chubby kid right up until middle school. Magically I got taller and thinner. "Wow!" I thought, "I am acceptable now. I can fit in."
What a load of crock that was.
A few years into high school and I was bulemic. When I see pictures of me in my high school year book I look puffy and unwell. My mother would tell me stories of all the laxatives that she had taken in her lifetime to loose weight. I've worshipped the porcelain queen more than any bad frat boy I know. I was bulemic from the middle of high school until I was 25. It was such a part of who I was. I was so convinced that my total worth was the figure that I carried.
Over the years that I have gone from a size 6 to a size 20 (and I have no idea how much I weigh) I have learned that people are able to like me for me not my body image. It's been a liberating experience to be liked at size 14 and still be liked at size 20.
Lately I have been feeling fat. Over Christmas I bought my first size 20. Is that my wake up call? Have I put on too much weight, I think so friends. I feel winded too easily, I think. I think that it is time to get more exercise and start cutting out some fats. So this year I want to get into shape. Not necessarily loose weight but to exercise more and slow down, cook my own meals (do that anyway), and truly appreciate what I am eating.
My coming out of winter, out of hibernation, resolution is to make my blog more personal. To truly share what I am feeling and to make intimate connections with my friends. I am a very internal creature. I share more intimacies with myself than any other human. I don't feel lonely just not connected to others. My childhood was sad and truamatic and my defense was to be with myself and share my feelings with me. It's time for me to break yet another cycle of my past.
I've spent weeks having a personal discussion with myself about who I am and what I want. It's time to share all that is going on with me with all my friends.
So be prepared, I want to talk about my marriage, my weight, my politics, and my life. I want to share this one time trip as ME with some people other than myself.
Shall we take a ride?

Ah, home.

Where have I been in the last six weeks? Let's see: Hartford, CT; Gaithersburg, MD; Washington, DC; Lancaster, PA; Westfield, NJ; a weekend at home; and then onto Morristown, NJ.
We have celebrated Xan's 13th birthday, had a Hannukah party (any excuse to eat latkes), got very surprised by the 'coolness' of downtown Lancaster, Xan took a willow branch making furniture workshop and made a friend a table, got a ticket for a headlight being out (and now the other one is out---go figure!); we have home-schooled a lot in the car, and Michael's back has gone out and he came down to Morristown anyway. Which brings me to the almost present.
We had the big family pow-wow "does he or doesn't he come to Morristown". We need this show. We need the money. He is the one who always stablizes the panels and focuses the lights. So we need him for that. So we book a last minute hotel so that we can be near the show instead of staying about 40 minutes away with our dear friends. He comes. We leave on Thursday morning and about 15 miles into our drive we hit the snow storm that we thought we would drive through later on in our journey. The drive that takes us 3 hours took us 7 and we arrive just in time to unload the car (which had become my highest priority of the day). We go to the hotel which turns out not to be as groovy as I thought a La Quinta owned property should be. But we are whupped and so we go with it. Next day we do that which I hate to do...We set up on the day that we are open for business and this time we are open until 8pm. We send Michael back to the hotel and stood around waiting for the crowd to show up. We waiting all weekend. So very disappointing for our last show of the year and one needs the money. Michael stayed in the hotel all weekend. Xan and I worked the show and we did breakdown all by ourselves. Xan was fabulous.
Sunday night after breakdown found us standing in the PathMark down the street from the hotel in the frozen foods section picking out our most favorite delicacies that we can micro-wave. We were tired and brain dead by that point. I got Amy's Kitchen enchiladas. Xan got mashed potatoes and Tabatchnick's soup. We got Michael a chicken pot pie. We get back to the hotel in the ice storm and hunker in for a really poor movie on HBO "Deck The Halls" with Mathew Broderick and Danny DeVito and eat our dinners. By then it was 9.
I drove us all back home yesterday. We unloaded the back seat (just our personal stuff) and I got Xan off to voice lessons and chorus rehearsal. I went off to the post office and then to the grocery store. Came home and made a quick hot&sour soup and then off to pick up Xan and took her with me for my weaving class' 'pie night' to see all the projects finished (not mine!) and then we left there and went to the movie store and got "Meet the Robinsons" and "Hairspray".
We hunker down with hot&sour soup and "Meet the Robinsons".
Ah, home.
Where the plowed snow piles are frozen and shining.
Where our sidewalk is a speed-skaters dream.
Where the powdery gently gusts of snow flurries are starting right outside my window.
Ah, home.

...the taste of words on my tongue.

I am astounded by how many wonderful writers are out there blogging.
Jane is just about the most heartfelt writer I know.
J writes with such intelligence.
Annalise writes with a great sense of humor.
Shauna creates pictures before my eyes and I can practically taste the food she writes about.
Just to mention a few of my favorites.
Sometimes I surf and I'm blown away by words. Words. Words.
I am fed by the taste of words on my tongue.

...continue to spread your joy.

Last weekend was our fourth show in a row in four weekends.
Note to self (just like I do every year at this time): Do not book four shows in four weekends in a row!!!
I have lots to blog about but I need to take this time to write about Bubba.
A member of my tribe has been lost.
We do a lot of shows with a promoter called Sugarloaf. Nice promotion company and I like the shows. Over the past few years we have become part of the community. Every show we are at we share stories, break bread, stand around and kibbitz, and help out when a fellow artist needs to take a break (i.e. pee).
This past weekend we were not a Sugarloaf show but at a show by a little tyrant I call, "Little Dickie" (ands that's another story). A bunch of the artists are fellow Sugarloafians and we all do our thing of tribe like behaviors (yes, the good and the bad) and Sunday one of us gets the call that Bubba, who is in Columbus, Ohio at another show, was found dead in his hotel room. Xan heard it and came and told Michael and I.
I must admit that my first thought was, "Thank God he didn't die in a car accident". There are so many of us that get in car accidents.
I tear up. We have lost Bubba. Bubba was such a presence at shows. He was a very tall, very round bellied fellow who sold leather stuff. He was always walking around bellowing 'hello's and 'how are ya's to everyone as he came by your booth. He was always cheerful and present with people.
I didn't hang out with him. Whenever I saw him I would say 'hello' and try and match his beauty with my voice.
Bubba has/had a son (5 kids really). The son that he brought to shows is mentally challenged. He is around 30 or so and very shy. I talked to a friend yesterday (who called to see if we had heard) and she told me that Nathan, Bubba's son, once got she and a bunch of women artists to go and play lazer tag with him. He asked each one individually and they all found out about each other once they got there. "Must have been about 10 of us", she told me. What a crack up. I know Nathan because he loves 'Middle Earth Studios' which is a children's theater that comes to the shows for kid entertainment. We have set up near them at some shows and Nathan is at every theater performance. Of course, Xan knows him well because she likes 'Middle Earth' too.
Next weekend there is a Sugarloaf show in Chantilly, VA. We won't be at that one. I know that there will be something done in Bubba's honor. I'm sorry we will miss it.

Hail to Bubba. Thanks for being a bright aura among us. Sorry you had to leave. You will be missed but I promise you this:
I will always strive to greet people at shows with the same enthusiasm that you did. I will always do this in your honor so that a part of you will live on as I continue to spread your joy.

How could we resist a tour of this?

This one is a quickie because we have to get ready to go to work. Well, first we have to stop at the post office (stamps for a mailing for our next show) and then off to the train station (dropping Artie off so that she can get back to Saratoga for work).
On Monday and Tuesday we took a bunch of tours in D.C. All thanks to our local congressman. We went into the Capital Building, The Supreme Court, The Library of Congress, and The Kennedy Center. Usually we spend our time in D.C. at some part of the Smithsonian it was nice to branch out and see other sites.
Here are some quickie photos of our day:



And I've got to add this one just to let you know that we know how to have a good time.How could we resist a tour of this?

What do you think?

"it occurred to her in the moment that gravity took over that only her reaction to events made a difference"

This past weekend we were at the Sugarloaf Arts and Craft Festival in Gaithersburg, MD. What would have been an OK weekend for us turned into a very good weekend thanks to our new benefactor Helen. Helen is a jeweler and sculptor from Tennessee. She was in the booth across from us.
Here's the funny thing...
On Thursday we leave in the morning for our usual 9 hour drive to Gaithersburg for our set up. We hit traffic and construction on the way and we arrive at the fairgrounds (where the show is) 10 minutes before the show office is closing. Thankfully we get checked in and now it is 8pm. We decide to set up our 10 x 10 outdoor tent (we have an outdoor space at this show) and unload the car into it. We do that and we button up the hatches and we drive away knowing that we have to do what we really don't like to do...get up really early the next morning and set up our booth before the show starts at 10am.
We get up too early the next morning. We are all pissy and tired. We arrive at the fairgrounds to find that the high winds during the early morning have totally torqued and broken our trusty tent. Michael took one look at it and commented on how it must be our turn. Over the years we have seen this sort of thing happen many times to others.
Now we have to figure out what to do. Rent a tent? Go buy a new tent? Thankfully all of our inventory was still in the bins. If we had set up the night before we would have been in a real pickle (basically we would have been screwed!). We find out how much it is to rent a tent...ouch. We look for a BJ's or Costco. We finally find out that we can move locations and set up in a barn and we won't need a tent. So at 9:30am we are frantically loading up the car to move our stuff to a different location and then we have to unload the car all before "5 minutes ago" because our car has to get off the fairgrounds because the show is about to open.
We are working like clockwork. We are laughing and moving at the speed of TERRA. We unload the car, get it moved off the grounds, and then we are left to set up our space. We were hustling. We were open for business with lights on and cash box ready at around 1pm. We went back to our old space and left a sign letting all our customers from our mailing know where we were. A big sigh of relief, pats on the back, running into all sorts of other vendors who have to comment on the fact "oh, that was you" and we are standing around twiddling our thumbs because there aren't very many customers walking around. All of our neighbors are talking about how well we handled the situation and in what good spirits we are in. Well sure, shit happens and just like our good friend Lance has advised us we duck and roll.
If we hadn't hit traffic and construction, if our tent hadn't mangled itself into a twisted piece of art, if someone hadn't have moved out of the barn to somewhere else making their old space open we wouldn't have ended up across from Helen. She 'made' our show financially and emotionally.
Is it all coincidence or is it fate?
What do you think?

And that morning's moment of greatness was over.

I awoke yesterday morning feeling refreshed and perky. That's pretty unusual for a Monday morning after a show weekend. And even more unusual because we drove home the night before and got in around midnight.
So I am feeling spunky and I am getting all sorts of things accomplished all before 8AM. I am amazing!! I did the banking, wrote a post, put together some pictures of a baby blanket that I took off the loom...I am multi-tasking away. I put the sausage on the stove to make sausage and eggs for breakfast. I am a goddess. I put in a load of laundry, I check the printer, do some more futzing and then the perfect alignment of my morning crumbled.Oops! I forgot about the sausage burning away. But all was not lost...we ate them anyway with our omelets. And that morning's moment of greatness was over.

So many logistics so little time.

We have now officially started our 4 shows in 4 weekends in a row. Last weekend was Hartford, CT, then we have Gaithersburg, MD, then Lancaster, PA, then Westfield, NJ. We did have 5 shows in a row but our last show is in an armory and the National Guard has been called so the promoter had to switch the dates. All of the artists that had already booked their hotels on priceline are SOL...what a drag. We always stay with friends so it was easy to switch weekends.
For the past month Xan and I have been totally consumed with a trip. When each of our girls turns 13 they are allowed to pick a place to travel to with Mom and Dad. It's our way of celebrating their 'coming of age'. Artie chose to go to NYC and Xan has chosen to go to Paris. That's right, Paris.
So we again decided that we need to spend money that we do not have and we have booked our air and we are in the process of booking an apartment. We are getting an apartment in the Latin Quarter for about $700 a week. Let me tell you that when we first starting seriously planning this trip 500 euros (the cost of the apartment) was $716 and now it is $730. Oh woe is us...all of us. We are thinking about buying our euros now because we get to pay for the apartment in cash when we arrive. If we wait for 2 or 3 months who knows what 500 euros will convert into. These are bad days for the dollars.
Xan is working very hard these days at shows to make as much money as she can for the trip. She's helping to fund the trip...all her idea.
Get this....over Thanksgiving Xan is driving to Cleveland, Ohio to work for a woman who paints on silk and makes clothing with it. This past weekend Xan worked for her and it was great. So off she is going to Ohio to work a show with Denise and will fly back into Albany when the show is over. She will miss Thanksgiving because that is their set-up day and under normal circumstances we wouldn't let it happen but there's the Paris trip and Xan is so motivated to go and make money.
I must be off to figure out her plane home and to figure out how Artie is going to get to Maryland to meet us for Thanksgiving. So many logistics so little time.

...no matter how cool it looks.

I signed up for the Mablahblahblah. You know that thing where you post everyday for a month. I thought it would be so much fun. Two of my favorite bloggers do it and I wanted to feel the commraderie.
I missed the second day.
I have been so depressed about it that I haven't posted since the first day.
I missed the stupid second day.
How lame is that?

So back to blogging. In my own time in my own way....
Halloween!!!This is what my kitchen table looked like for a whole day before we brought the pumpkins out into our tent that we set up.We serve hot mulled cider to all the grown ups and give away toys of some sort to all the kids. This year we had kazoos and they were a big hit. It was a blast to teach the little kids how to use them.
Artie's costume:
Xan's costume that she designed and totally made herself (Goddess, I love homeschooling):
Our upstairs neighbors came out and played for everyone. Greg is an amazing guitar player and luthier and Maggie is almost done getting her teaching certificate. We are so blessed to have them in our house!
It was a groovy, groovy evening with lots of crowds stopping by. All the grown ups telling us that they look forward to our stop every year. It's nice to hear the appreciation for something that we love to do.
The next day Artie was outside and noticed a small bird on some of the spider web that we had put out. She thought that the bird looked so beautiful that she took some pictures.While she was snapping away she realized that the poor bird was stuck. So she got Xan and some gloves and she cut the bird free taking care not to touch the bird in any way. The deed was done and the little guy flew off to safety.
Note to self...Next year do not use the spider web on the sunflowers no matter how cool it looks.

Anything beats the heat around here.

The weather here is unseasonably warm. So warm that kids were out last night in those skimpy two piece costumes that they can only wear in mid-July. It was an eye opener.
On my way home from getting the mail today I passed a house that I just love. This house is a big white rambling oasis on a corner. It's owned by this real outrageous black woman who loves to garden with old tires. There's mostly a white picket fence that surrounds the yard.
Today I noticed that the matronly black bear (of the chain saw variety) was wearing a faux-fur coat. Standing there up by the tree just waiting winter.
What a glorious sight.
I, too, am waiting for winter. Anything beats the heat around here.

...gotten through for now.

Let's face it. I do retail almost every weekend, all weekend long. I stand around in (what I hope is) a funky, interesting, and creative outfit. I put on my best "I am only paying attention to you and you only" face and I hopefully sell enough of Michael's ceramics to pay the mortgage, buy new winter coats, pay for soccer, and if I'm lucky splurge a little on the groceries. I don't sell all by myself Michael is there. In fact he is much better at it than I am. Not that I am bad or anything but he is much better with the schmoozing part.
Last weekend we trek, and I mean we trek, to Novi, MI for a show with a promoter that we work with a lot. We get up at 3:30 in the morning on Thursday and we are in the car ready to go at 4:00. We drive in intense fog for hours. It must have been Mother Nature's little "Ha, Ha" on the Terra's and their big white van, Moby. We trade off driving and sleeping about every 3 hours. Xan did some homeschool in the car. We listened to "The Stories of Oz". The original ones, weird, and most of them are not very pleasant. But we feel righteous for having done it because they are classics. We had such an unremarkable lunch that for the life of me I can't remember where we ate. And finally, finally we pull into the Rock Financial Center at 5:00pm to set up our booth. We are there until 8:00 and we are not even done yet. It took us a while to figure out a new set up because Michael is a 'demo artist' (which to us means that we get a free booth space in exchange for Michael working at the show). We get to the hotel and this time it is a good one. We are staying at a Marriott and they have an indoor pool. We go to an 'Olive Garden' for dinner. Michael and I each order a glass of wine and we were all barely able to pick up our forks to eat dinner. Back to the hotel and some tv watching and as usual I am the first one asleep.
The weekend was a bust. Novi is a bedroom community for Detroit. For me, that about sums it up. We were packed all weekend. We worked our butts off and for all our hard effort we broke even. People stood in front of our booth, stared, mouths fell slightly open, heads tilted to one side, mouths open, words come out, "Can you explain this to me?" That's what we did all weekend. Talk, talk, talk, explain, explain, explain. Very little wrapping was done.
It happens. We have doing this enough years now that we take it in stride. Every show is a learning experience and you never how economically successful you are going to be until you try. We know people who who raked in the dough.
At home yesterday sitting at our kitchen table I had out the bill box and was sorting through them picking out which bills to pay and which to leave until after the next show. I am in a constant flux of 'putting all my eggs in one show'. The loan payment can wait because even though it is due the 1st I really have until the 16th before they charge a late payment. Must pay the credit cards because they are nasty, nasty corporations who will raise my APR if I am 2 seconds late in paying. I always try to prioritize 'people' we owe money to right after the credit cards because they are people and they need the money just like we do. I want to give them the opportunity to sit at their kitchen table with their bill boxes and play their version of check roulette.
I open up the Sprint bill. Ouch. It's over $500. $469 of it is Artie's from the 3 weeks that she is in Austin. I just remembered that I haven't told her yet. That will smart. Austin seems like forever ago.
Another show is in the bag. Another day with the bills has been, well, it has been gotten through for now.

I'm thinking about Turkey.

On our way to Michigan last week I had the map out in the car. we were going to do a detour to Niagara Falls. Xan and I are looking at the map...
"Hey Mom, does that say Buffalo?"
"Yeah sweetie."
"I know, isn't Buffalo a country?"
"No honey, Buffalo is a city."
"No I'm sure it is a country."
"It's not. It's a city in New York state dear."
"No, no, no I"m sure that it is a country."
"It's not honey, it is a city in New York state and we are going to drive through there to get to Niagara Falls on Monday."
"No Mom, I'm sure it's a country. It's (long pause). Oh, ha-ha, it's Turkey. I'm thinking about Turkey."

...it's all working out.

Everyone sent me such kind and supportive wishes during the time that Artie was in Austin. I just want everyone to know that she is home and doing great. Really great.
I think that this experience helped her do some maturing. She is taking a pastels portrait class, working at a coffee shop and looking for another job, and (get this) she is taking classes to prepare her for getting her GED. She is actively looking at colleges for special effects make-up design.
Michael and I are yet once again 'wowed' by our daughter.
She's happy, productive, and she's home. I must admit it's good to have her home, it's all working out. Thank Goddess it's all working out.

...off the loom last month.

I haven't posted in a while because I've been waiting for everyone to see the pictures of J. But it is time to move on and you should really look at my last post and see the pictures of J.
We went to Baltimore a few weekends ago for an art show. Last year at this time we were at the same art show staying with the same wonderful friends, the Rashkins. Our friend, Laura, is someone that used to rent an apartment from us when we lived in Tucson, AZ. Oh, let's say, about 17 or 18 years ago.
Laura arrived at our doorstep a few days before Thanksgiving one year wanting to rent our apartment. She stayed, she had Thanksgiving with us and she has been a feature in our lives ever since. We even went to her wedding. How lucky for us to know Laura!!!
So...last year I asked her daughter, Anna (then 3), if I could make her a rug in my weaving class. It was decided that I could. And here it is a year later and I am bringing the rug to Anna's house unfinished. I spent one night sitting on the floor tie-ing off the ends so that I could leave the rug with her. I am the slowest weaver!! It takes me about 6 months to a year (obviously) to get one project done from start to finish.
I got up early on the morning that we were leaving so that I could take some pictures of Anna with her new rug. See how happy she is...See how excited she is to have a rug that Victoria made just for her...See how she can smile when asked, "Why aren't you smiling, Anna?".The rug is finished...now on to the baby blankets I took off the loom last month.

...and a helluva woman.

Finally, finally I can tell you about the day that I got to meet J. Beautiful, beautiful J. She is so wonderful that she even let me borrow her luscious hair for a few moments.Now what kind of woman that you have never met in person before will let you have the hair that you have always dreamed for a few moments? J rocks!!!
J and her family came to a show that we were doing in Manassas, VA. And what a lovely family they are.She has three young boys that had loads of fun playing with some clay that Michael got out for them. See them having loads of fun.OK so maybe ice cream is more fun.But seriously folks...I got to meet a very special woman. I look forward to reading her blog. She makes my day better every time she leaves a comment on mine. She is a gifted wordsmith and a helluva woman.

Is this really happening?

A bottle of wine later and good nights sleep and now I am ready to blog about it.
Yesterday my Mom calls me from Texas. She is out there visiting her best friend and just so happens to be two hours away from Austin.
She says, (and this is after not calling me when she arrived in Texas, like she said she would, a few days previously) "I just want you to know that I am on my way to Austin to go and get Artie. I thought that you would be relieved to know."
"Are you picking her up, like taking her away from there for good?"
"I've been talking to her a lot lately and I think that she needs to get out of there so I am picking her up so that she can spend a few days with me in Junction (where she is staying with her friend)."
"OK then Mom. I, too, have been talking with Artie a lot lately and I am not going to intervene in this situation no matter what my feelings about it are. Artie is in a position where she needs to be making decisions on her own and I am not going to tell her or you what to do."
"I think that she needs me to come and get her so I am going."
That's about the jist of it.
Later in the day I get a phone call from Artie that she has been waiting outside of her apartment complex for over 1/2 an hour. Her grandmother is late and she is worried. I told her that Granny could be lost but there was nothing to do but wait. And to please call me when she is in the car with Granny.
She doesn't call.
I called a couple of hours later. They are in a restaurant somewhere on the way to Junction and everything is groovy. I ask her to please call me when they get to Junction.
A couple of hours later....
I call to make sure that everythiing is OK.
"Everything is fine Mom we are just taking the scenic route."
"Do you know where you are?"
There's some talking back and forth in the car with Artie and Granny.
"Yeah, Granny says we are in San Antonio."
"Great!"
This is not such a great 'great' by the way. It's getting dark. My mother has really crappy night vision. They are in San Antonio which is out of the way of where Junction is. I'm thinking that this is not such a good thing. And Artie is assuring me how everything is fine.
"Everything is not really fine dear, your grandmother has a really hard time seeing at night."
"I know Mom, I'm helping her."
"That's good dear call me when you get to Junction. And if you need me to mapquest anything for you call me!!!"
They got to Junction a few hours later around 11pm their time. Artie has no cell service there and it took her a while to figure out how to use the rotary dial telephone.
And my Mom is going to take her back to Junction on Monday? Is this really happening?

....she's coming home.

So she has finagled money out of my Mom and she is coming home.
Big breath.
She's coming home.
We are in no way helping her to get here but we are clear that we will not turn her away if she shows up on our doorstep.
She's coming home.
She had it all figured out how to get herself to Lopez. She had a place to live and a job but after a heart to heart talk with her about doing what she really wants to do vs. making another mistake she let us know that she is coming home to be with us.
She's coming home.
She has found a job here and we are being very clear with her that things will not be the same for her around here.
She's coming home.
Xan is not too thrilled with the whole thing. I think that she has seen enough of the emotional trauma that we have been through this week and thinks that Artie would be better out on Lopez.
She's coming home.
I don't know how I really feel about the whole thing. I don't think that Artie really gets the magnitude of the personal growth that she is giving up. I will not let her come home and live like an emotional cripple.
She's coming home.
Oh God...she's coming home.

Stamina, stamina, stamina...

Yesterday morning was totally sucked into the Artie emotional hysteria. Yesterday afternoon was totally sucked into the Artie emotional hysteria. Yesterday evening I had just gotten home from working at the Farmers Market and she calls I told her that I couldn't talk to her until after dinner was made and we had eaten and watched our movie. She called three times before the movie was over and each time we told her that we would be calling her when the movie was over.
I called when the movie was over and we had a reasonably good conversation. Both she and I have been talking to reps from the Vancouver Film School. But in this conversation she tells me about how she has tried to hurt herself by taking too many aspirins. She's thinking that if she hurts herself we will come out and get her. Then she tells me that just that very day she has burned herself. On purpose.
What do you do?
I told her that the 5 aspirin that she told me she took won't kill her.
"That was only the 5 I took Mom! I stopped myself."
What do you say?
Our conversation got better. I kept it focused on this costume rental place near her house that is hiring. Lucy in Disguise with Diamonds....how fun does that sound? I kept it focused on the Starbucks application that she has. I kept it focused on the Vancouver Film School. I told her yet again that she needs to stay out there for some personal growth....and she needs to learn how to deal with herself.
I actually went to bed feeling fairly good. Then I woke up at 4am. Michael is still working and tells me that he has spent most of the evening on the phone with our oldest. On Sunday night she stooped to the "You don't love me that's why you won't let me come home". Last night it was her "My best friends' parents are better parents than you are". Michael said that the phone call was over because she was getting too hurtful and would regret the things that she was saying. She called back an hour later crying and apologizing and they talked for an hour.
Needless to say I didn't go back to sleep for a very long time.
So far this week we have missed soccer, a hair appointment, been late to work at the market, a cheese tour, and barely homeschooled yesterday morning. We are so sucked up in this emotional drama we are not functioning properly.
Stamina, stamina, stamina......

....into the pits of despair.

We've had one good day. ONE GOOD DAY. Well if you can consider that Art was pissed off enough (at us) to get her ass on the city bus and ride it. She told me that day that she was coping by putting on a facade.
"OK...if that's what you need to do to get through this."
Yesterday we were back to the I hate it here(s) and I want to come home(s).
She called in the wee hours of the morning and Michael told her that we need some rest and that we need to sleep so we will talk to her in the morning.
She told me yesterday that she has a job interview today at a coffee shop at the airport. She is going in and they will talk and do a background check. And she's got a job interview for a cashier position at some restaurant called Jimmy Chews.
Michael said yesterday (before we started receiving more distressing phone calls) that I should blog everyday about this so that we can have a record of how great this move to Austin has been for us. Little did we know that we were about to be plunged down again into the pits of despair.

...numb to the core.

I had wonderful plans to blog about my vacation in Mexico. I had anticipated with warm fuzzy thoughts about the blog that would contain the pictures and my thoughts about J. How glorious to meet J and how dear it was going to be to share that with my blogger friends.
Instead....I have spent the last 4 days in hell. In parent hell.
Artie flew off to Austin, TX on Tuesday last week.
On Wednesday the phone calls of need and loneliness started. We have peaked (hopefully peaked) into how much I hate her and won't come out to Austin and be there for her.. How can I? How can I save her from herself? Oh, this is hard folks. I want to get on that plane. I want to go out there and hug here and hold her. I can not.
We are standing back and allowing our oldest to succeed. We are standing back and allowing her to figure out for herself how she is going to help herself feel better.
What growing pains. I am frozen with fear.
Teary eyed and numb to the core.

I love to fly, don't you?

Today we did the massive 12 housr drive to Maryland to stay with our friends and they are going to drive us to the airport in the morning. Early morning...not really to far from now.
On our drive we stopped at a Starbucks in NJ. A woman who works there was working on a sign that she wanted to put up about a coffee. Michael asked her what she was doing and she showed him her work and was discouraged. Michael offered to do it for her. "Are you good at this sort of thing?" She asked.
We got free Frappucinos and coffee out of the deal.
I told her that we would stop by once a month when they need to change the sign.
I'll be back from Mexico next week...hopefully with lots of good pics.
Mom is ok, by the way, not great but there are a lot of tests being done at the moment and her cardiologist and her primary care guy seem to think that her blood pressure problem is not the awful incurable disease that it could be. We'll know next week.
I'm going snorkeling...and this time tomorrow I'll be in a different country.
I love to fly, don't you?

Love you all......

So, I am here in MA with my Mom doing my best not to loose it. Xan arrived last Monday and I was hoping that Mom would be up and running in a few days but she is not. She is having a problem where she will be fine sitting down but when she stands up her blood pressure drops and she's a gonner.
I borrowed her car on Friday (my 20th wedding anniversary) and drove to Stockbridge, MA to help Michael set up for a show. We went over to Jacob's Pillow (be still my heart this place if fabulous) and saw a dance performance. It was wonderful and beautiful. Spent the night at a friend's house and then I left on Saturday to come back to my Mom's.
Today we went to see the doctor again. He is taking her off one more medication that she takes that might have something to do with her blood pressure. If that doesn't work than he is pretty sure she has the lucky fortune of have a blood pressure system that does not know how to regulate itself. This is a royal pain the ass to deal with but better to know what is going on and deal with it than not know and not be able to walk around.
I have cleaning my Mom's house...ICK!!!
This past Friday my brother and his wife signed papers on her (his wife) dream house. It is in Wareham, MA. In the town where she grew up and ever since she can remember she has wanted to live in this house. It was built in the 1700's. Her kids have grown up with her driving by it and telling them that someday they would live there. Now they do. Pretty cool huh? She wants Michael to come over and wood burn the word "dream" into one of the old beams in the kitchen. Of course he will!!!
Today I get to park my ass on the ride around mower and mow the yard. Tomorrow Artie is taking the bus in to help me keep my sanity. She's a good kid. She is all packed for Austin and is going to fly out in the middle of September.
I have been watching the progress of Hurricane Dean. Tomorrow it should hit the Yucatan Peninsula. And we are flying out there in a week. EEK.
We'll see what happens.
I know that I've been tagged but I got to move on to other things on the internet and then get back to Mom's. Ahhkkk, this is the second time from the 2nd person and sooner or later I'll do my 8 things.
Love you all.....

...our trusty navigator for company.

I have been so selfishly self-involved in my vacation search that I forgot to mention that my Mom just got a pacemaker put in. She came home from the hospital on Saturday and my brother did the weekend duty. Now, today, Xan & I are going to take the bus down to be with her until Friday when we take the bus to the Berkshires to set up for a show.
So, I am travel bound this week. Hopefully we will make it to the library and I can blog.
When I told my friend, Beth, yesterday about my experience with Artie and the bus station she said that it was too bad Xan wasn't there. Because we all know that Xan would have had that itinerary out and questioning every little detail.
Thankfully I will have our trusty navigator for company.

...midnight update.

It's official.
We are flying out of Washington, DC from Reagon International Airport for Cancun on Wed. Aug. 29th until Sept. 5th for $213 a person. We are staying in a two bedroom condo in Akumel on the Riviera Maya for a week for $705. Not too shabby.
I highly recommend this website www.vrbo.com...that's vacation rental by owner.
We are renting from a nice couple in NH that live near our friend Andy.
That's my midnight update.

...to be had at my finger tips.

We have decided that we want to do something celebatory. Not just the usual dinner but something "wow". Something really special.
Michael and I have our 20th wedding anniversary this month, next month he is turning 50, and Artie is leaving the nest and moving to Austin, TX and our best friend, Andy, has his birthday this month and wants to join in on the fun.
Our first thoughts were that we wanted to take a cruise on the Hudson River. We wanted something that would take us down to NYC and see the Statue of Liberty from the water and come back up. That was a no go...couldn't find anything that was doing that. Then I looked into smaller cruises. We could take an all day sail out of Kingston on the tall ship "Clearwater". It was commissioned to be built by Pete Seeger and it's mission is to promote envirionment issues dealing with the Hudson. That sounded fun but Michael thought that some of us would be bored. Bored? OK so I moved on.
I started to think of all things that I wanted to show the girls here on the East Coast and what haven't we done yet. Niagara Falls and Nova Scotia and Acadia National Park in ME. So I start looking into these possibilities. Niagara Falls is 6 hours away and we all agree that we don't want to be spending a lot of time in the car because we spend a lot of time in the car anyway and want to avoid that. I looked into flying and taking the train and taking the car ferry to Nova Scotia. Nothing is gelling together. I even looked into castles. I thought that it would be fun to spend the night in a castle and there a few here in NY. Then somehow this has all morphed into snorkeling.
Snorkeling.
We all love to snorkel. We have wonderful memories of being in the Bahamas and walking out our timeshare and snorkeling off the beach. Xan was just a baby and Artie must have been 6. Oh it was glorious. Why not go snorkeling?
I sit myself down in front of Expedia and my fingers are flying across the key board. We have so many variables. Because we travel and we want to squish this celebration in between shows we have about six different airports we could leave from. From Boston, Providence, Hartford, all the NYC ones, Albany, or Washington, DC. We can leave near where a show is ending or end up near a show that is just starting. We can fly to anywhere that there is snorkeling.
I started with the most northern island in the carribean and worked my way down. My fingers did the walking from the Dominican Republic to Aruba. I was there for about 7 hours straight. This is what I have done pretty much excusively for two days.
And we did call a travel agent to see if they could come up with anything better. You know, not really.
Nearing the end...I think. We have decided to fly in and out of Boston so that we can travel with Andy (but late last night I think that we might have changed our minds on this point) and we are either going to Jamaica or the Riviera Maya outside of Cancun. In both places we can stay on the beach and snorkel to our hearts content.
When I first started this search vacation packages were about $500 a person. I thought that that was reseasonable. But right before my eyes the cost of flying went up. Damn. Now we are looking at options from $600 (flight and villa) or $750 (for an all inclusive). How are we going to afford this? We talked about it yesterday and realized that we do all sorts of things that we can't afford and we want to do this so we will.
I must away to check out something that I thought of last night but refrained from getting out of bed to check on.
I"m obsessive about this kind of stuff...always thinking that there is a better deal to be had at my finger tips.

WE HAD A NICE HUG.

Finally here are the pictures that I told a few friends I was going to post up on my blog days ago. I am so amazed at what she has done over the past 5 weeks. WOW. I knew she was talented I just had no idea that she could draw like this.
Michael has a saying, "It's been a long year today". Well, it was a long year yesterday. Artie came home from Skidmore on Friday and had plans to leave for Pensic (a re-enactment sort of thing for medieval time period and before that time period enthusiasts) on Saturday. Well the kid was an emotting mess. She was all wigged out about finishing her art program and then saying goodbye to friends, packing up all her stuff to move home, unpacking all her stuff at home, packing up all the stuff that she needed for Pensic, and then getting reading to take the bus to Pittsburgh. I stayed home from work (we were at a show in VT) to be with her on Saturday.
The morning began with frustration and her wanting to throw things (she had a lot of artwork to deal with from her art classes at Skidmore). The mid-day turned into her wanting to leave on Sunday instead of Saturday. Good choice in my book but her pick up in Pittsburgh wanted her to arrive on Sunday. So, she gets herself ready to leave on the bus for Saturday.
We take a cab to the Saratoga Springs bus station. Really not to far from our house but with two suitcases and 80+ degree weather I thought it wise. Art wants me to come and sit with her and wait for the bus. It's ok with me. We met all the crazies that are heading back to Albany after drinking at the racetrack all day. One woman wants to know if Artie and I are girlfriends. Uh, no!
So, dear emotionally wrenched Artie gets on the bus for Pittsburg. All is well. She has her itinerary printed out. She is going to Port Authority in NYC to transfer to a bus for Pittsburgh. We did a lot of planning for this. Making sure that she is in NYC during a time of day so that she is present and awake to make her transfer. The bus will get her into Pittsburgh at 6:30am. It's a long ride from here to Pittsburgh.
So.....Artie gets to Port Authority at 9:30pm and is catching an 11:15pm bus. She gets there. Calls us to let us know that she is there. The cell connection is awful so we only chat for a second. But she is there and OK. The kid is overwhelmed with the size of the place and goes to the information counter to help her figure out where the bus to Pittsburg is. The really nice guy at the information place wants to help her out and carries one of her bags for her over to the gate for the bus. This really nice guy who most likely really meant to be nice. This really nice guy who walked my really nice kid to the wrong gate. She didn't check to see what gate she was at. She didn't check to make sure that the bus number on her itinerary matched the bus number at the gate. She goes ahead and gets on the bus. She didn't even question the bus driver when told her that she would be transferring in Philadelphia. She knew damn well that she wasn't transferring anywhere but in NYC.
I called her at 11:30pm just as I was getting into bed. Just to say goodnight and make sure that she got on the bus. She then tells me what the bus driver said to her when she got on the bus. I am thinking, "This is not good". I hang up with her and get online and see that there is no transfer like I thought and I'm thinking, "Where the hell is she going?". Once back on the phone with her she tells me that everyone is asleep and there is noone to ask and the person next to her is asleep and she can't get out to talk to the bus driver. We make a plan for her to call me when the bus stops.
I fall asleep with the phone next to me. I am woken up at 12:30am.
"Hi Mom, I got on the wrong bus. I'm in Philadelphia."
"OK, what time and where is your connection to Pittsburgh?"
"I don't know."
"Didn't you ask the driver when you got off the bus?"
"No."
"Do you see a ticket office with ticket agents?"
"Yes."
"Go and ask the ticket agent what time and where the bus to Pittsburgh is and call me right back."
"OK."
Wait, wait, wait.
"Mom (her sobbing starts) I have to wait until 5:45am (my gut is wrenching). I feel so stupid I never checked to see that I was getting on the right bus because the information guy took me there."
"I know sweetie, I know (Oh fuck my 18 yr. daughter has to spend the night in the bus station in Philly)."
"Mom, I feel so stupid. I didn't want to leave today anyway. Mahhhhummmm."
"I know sweetie (I think I could just about puke right now)."
Meanwhile Michael is across the street sitting with Xan because she is babysitting for a neighbor and it's late. I now walk across the street.
"Well Honey you are going to have to sit in the station until the bus comes."
"I know."
Michael gets on the phone and gives her some great advice about asking the ticket agent where the safest place to sit is and that she should take her purse off and zip it into her bag and then sit on her luggage so nobody can take it if she falls asleep.
We all chat back and forth for a little while. Apparently there is a tv on there so she goes and sits somewhere where she can stay awake and watch tv.
I go home and get into bed with the phone.
Michael got a serious vibe at 3am and called her while some yahoo was trying to pick her up. She told me later that morning that there was a homeless woman that sat with her and thought that Artie was her daughter. She took out her journal and wrote about all the displaced nuts that she saw and met.
I set our alarm for 5:25am so that I could make sure that she was up and getting on the bus.
We chat and the bus is late. She gets on the bus around 6:30am and I tell her to go to sleep because the bus only has a few stops and she doesn't get off until it's last stop in Pittsburgh.
I never go back to sleep and we have to leave the house at 8am to be in VT in time for our show.
Of all the things to happen that morning we leave both of our cell phones behind and don't realize it until we are too far on the way to Vt to turn around. It's OK we have lots of friends with phones. I phone Artie at 12:30 to make sure that she got to Pittsburgh Ok. Got her voicemail which did not thrill me and left her a message. She called back and got my dear friend Lisa and told her that she was with Mark (her pick up) and all is well.
All was well. I became a bowl of jello. Exhausted and limp. I floated through the rest of the day can't wait to get home and crawl onto the couch.
Mid morning Xan wanted to give me a hug. Michael, who knows me so well, said to her, "Don't touch Mommy honey until this is all over then you can hug her all you want." He knows so well how tightly compact I put all that anxiety in there and one hug can let it all unravel. He knows I hate that.
In the afternoon I looked at him teary eyed, "We lived through it honey. I know it's not the first time nor will be the last but we got through this one."
We had a nice hug.

GOOD, BECAUSE I MISS HIM.

I can't believe that so much time has passed since my last blog entry.
We got Xan off to Tucson alright. She had the good fortune of sharing a whole row by herself with another young (homeschooler to boot!) girl who was travelling alone as well. The plane arrived an hour early. Dig that...an hour early. The Continental folks whisked her off to some office where she waited for an hour and a half for Keith to finally catch up with her and all the miscommunication with the airline. I've got a great picture of her on the airplane with the captain. Will have to download it later as I am using my friend's computer.
Which brings me to the present. I went to my Mom's for 5 days and hung out with her while she had cataract surgery. Then I came here to Andy's to cat sit. Two days by myself with no phone or car. Downright unamerican. Downright decadent, if you ask me. Yesterday I watched Hitch (cute), The Public Eye (very good flic), and The Weatherman (depressing and quite real). Here I am ALONE. Just me and the kitties. And, of course, a good book. I am reading "Thud" by Terry Pratchett. I just got turned onto Terry Pratchett and am enjoying him.
Mom's: I think my max 'Mom limit' is about 4 days. Sad to say, sad to admit. She really does drive me bonkers. Even that was too humorous for the actual emotions. She is a frustrating woman very self centered and is pretty negative these days. I have been thinking about aging. I believe that as we grow older we can choose to just settle into a part of ourselves. That part is of your choosing. Me? I want to be old and funny and cute. Loose my mind with an air of the absent minded professor. Hum dee doe-doe and loveable. My Mom who is witty and intelligent is choosing the unattractive parts of herself to hunker down into in her elder years. She wants to complain about others and play emotional mind games with her (maybe boyfriend) bridge partner. I have been bold with her and told her to stop complaining about him and their relationship if she is not willing to TALK to him about how she feels. She keeps telling me it's how her generation operates.
A weird thing happened on this trip. I never am comfortable in my parents' house. I never sleep well. This time on the second night that I was there something sat on the bed next to me. At first I thought that my cat, Ethel, had jumped on the bed then I realized that was not possible and woke up out of a sound sleep flailing my body across the bed to get rid of my unseen entruder. I always have this feeling when I am at parents' house that there is something that wants my attention. So, when I am there without my family and I am sleeping alone upstairs I always tell this non-seen thing that I am not interested in it getting my attention. I do this before I go to sleep. Not this time, I was doing it in the wee hours of the morning that I was not interested in having my attention 'got' at this or any other time. Oh yeah, I went back to sleep. Sometime I will tell you about my mother-in-law trying to get my attention be driving behind me in her car (after she had passed over, of course) and I knew damn well that she wanted me to pull over and talk to me. Michael has asked on several ocassions "Why didn't you stop?". Let me tell you I was not and am not interested in my mother-in-law wanting me to fix her daughter. Not my job. Don't want to go there. And I knew damn well that's what she wanted to talk about way back in April of 2006.
Life is weird.
Michael and Stuart, his brother, got to go over to their mom's house and pick up items of personal property. The horrid sister gave them one day only to complete a daunting task. As with all stories of this estate it is long and involved and I am not going to go into it. Suffice to say that we now have a storage unit and this is far from over. She continues to be dishonest and dishonorable. I choice these words diplomatically.
I am off to reconcile my bank statements to my check books. This way I won't feel like a total slouch.
Michael will arrive tonight. Good, because I miss him.

And so it goes...

It's been a hectic time here at Terra Cottage. We are trying to wrap up our homeschooling before Monday or Tuesday so that we can send off all of our documentation to Lopez. It's been funny to read whole chapters with all their sections of history. Getting almost the whole European Middle Ages in one sitting is quite a lot to chew on. Very funny to zip through The Crusades when under different circumstances we might spend a month on those.
Artie came down with us last week to NYC for an art show at Lincoln Center. More hectic logistics with Xan staying behind bouncing between friends so that she could play two soccer games. We left a day early because we had arranged with a friend of mine who is the props master for 'Beauty and the Beast' for Artie to hang out with the make-up guy who does the make-up for the beast. Long story short, my friend had forgot about our date earlier in the week and made arrangements for another guy, Joel to meet us at the backstage door. Well, Joel was 45 minutes late, the backstage door guy was a jerk, and Artie got into the theater for only 15 minutes. David later called us and says that he owes us big time. But, Artie loved Vinney the make-up guy who filled her head with lots of info in a short time. He showed her how he does the beast's make-up. He showed her the wig room. And to top it all off he had done some special effects make-up for the movie "Dogma". He created the shit monster. Artie was on cloud nine.
I hope this experience helped. It was planned with the intention that it could help Artie decide if she wanted to go to special effects make-up school. She is now talking about trying to get into an internship at Jim Henson Studios. She's 18, who knows what she'll want to do next week. I'll keep you posted.
We got Artie off on a plane to Seattle that weekend. One down one to go! She is now safely entrenched in island life for a month before coming back here for a studio arts summer program at Skidmore College.
Now Xan is jumping around wanting all the focus on her because she is flying out to Tucson, AZ this coming Saturday. She is going to travel with some dear friends of ours. She's packing, stressing, and driving us all bonkers over here.
So in a week Michael and I will be alone for the 1st time in 18 years. Both girls gone and a few days later I have to go down to my Mom's because she is having eye surgery. Isn't that the way of things.
From my Mom's I will travel up to NH to cat sit for our best friend. He is going off to Prince Edward Island in Canada for his own family fun. Michael will meet me in NH after he gets Artie off to Skidmore and then we will do some toodling in Maine for a few days before we are off to an art show.
The weather here is thick and humid. We've got some important court dates coming up. We've been having some intense family discussions about Xan and I moving back to Lopez in the Fall. Our lawyer has informed me that I can't go because he needs my documentation skills too much. He wants me to come and work for him. Nope.
Today is another humid day on the East Coast. Xan has a choral conert for us all to attend.
And so it goes...

OH, THE PLACES YOU'LL GO.

Whew!! This is going to be short because I just spent the last 45 minutes diddling around with my links. I have put up two new ones. One for Ellen, my new friend that has moved to Saratoga Springs and we met online. Last week we had lunch together and she brought me some hand-folded envelopes that she had made. What a woman!
The other is for one of my favorite charitable organizations, Food For Life Vrindavan.
A few weeks ago I ran into an old friend. She used to live in our neighborhood and has moved out to the country in a big old (OLD) farmhouse. So sweet. Her husband is a Hare Krishna and we have spent many a fine celebration at their house. She mentioned to me that they were having a fundraiser for their favorite charitable organiztion that is run by their friend Rupa. Since Xan wants to be a chef when she grows up so we try and hook her up with as many cooking experiences that we can. Last Thursday and Friday Xan spent the the day with our friend, Beth, preparing for a vegetarian Indian meal and then she stayed for the event and served.
Oh my gosh, it was amazing! We had samosas, palak paneer, deep fried cauliflower, chickpeas with some tomato stuff, and rice. For desert we had some sort of semolina pudding with orange in it and a sweet spiced yogurt with raisins in it. It was so awesomely yummy. We got to sit with some people that we had not met before and that is always fun.
After we stuffed ourselves to the gills we watched a presentation by Rupa about all the work that is being done in this town, Vrindavan, in India. What a mench. Not only does he feed people everyday, provide medical care, help with housing, has started a school...Not only has he accomplished all this. He has now started a program so progressive that I get shivers everytime I think about it.
In India, in this part of India, people are poor. Dirt poor. When girls are born they are considered a curse. A curse. A curse up on their family because someday they will have to be married and that means that the family is going to have to pay a dowry. Most, pretty much all, families try to marry their daughters off as soon as they turn 13 because at that age it is the least amount of money a family will have to spend to have their girls married off. Tragic. I think Rupa's school has been around for about 4 yrs. now and he has seen girls vanish from a classroom from one day to the next. So he got to thinking about how can he motivate a family to let the girls stay in school. This is how I understand his solution:
He (I"m sure there is many more people than 'he'. It is just that I have met Rupa.) is in the process of setting up a fund, an interest bearing bank account for each girl in the school. Through donations each girl gets money in the account. The family is told that the girl may have this money when she graduates from school. The money that the girl receives upon graduation is greater than the sum that the family would receive if they marry her off at an any age. What Rupa has not made truly clear to the family is that the money is the girls'. It is theirs to do whatever they choose to do with it.
Did you get chills? Are tears running down your face? Yeah, me too.
What an inspired thing to do. What a way to change a girls' life.
Michael and I have not stopped talking about it. We are so moved by this act of social change. The bravery and humanity of it.
Like I said, I added the link into my sidebar. Oh, the places you'll go.

AH, YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THEIR FACES.

Today I am going to have lunch with someone that I've met online. How fun is that? My new friend, Ellen, has recently moved here from CA. She found my blog at some Saratoga website listing people from Saratoga that have blogs. Who knew? And you all know how much I love it here. Funny that someone out there thinks I'm a good candidate to promote this lovely village we live in. Weird?
Before my story..I want J to know that I still know that I owe her some cookies. I've gone gluten-free and haven't been baking. Not a really good excuse but I want her to know that I just ordered some gluten-free cookbooks. J, someday when you least expect it there will arrive a package at your door full of weird non-gluten treats.
On a funny note...I must tell you about our dinner conversation the other day. My blogger friend, Annalise, had a really funny post the other day. She said that she got a box of condoms and there is a sticker on them that says you should not put the box in the microwave. Being the enormouse intellectual that I am, I got to wondering. Why would someone put a box of condoms in the microwave? And then I intellectualized it down to "What the hell am I missing?". Because everyone always knows something that I don't know. Of this I am sure.
I read Annalise's post right before dinner. Michael is telling me dinner is ready just as I am leaving my comment. I closed down the computer and walked into the kitchen and asked Artie what she knew about microwaving condoms. Hey, she's 18 I'm sure there's a bucket load of stuff that she knows that I don't know. I've enjoyed 11 condom free years thanks to that vasectomy Michael had. I was sure she had to know. All she could say was "Mom!!!" and then when I was explaining why I wanted to know she covered her ears and sang, "La, La, La, La.". I finally weasled it out of her that she had no idea. Do you think that she was trying to shut me up?
Michael and I pondered this subject while we were getting the food on the table. He personally liked the idea that nobody wants a 'chilly willy'. We both agree that microwaving a condom is for those that really want to get pregnant but feel that they have to use the condom because they need to pretend that they don't want to get pregnant. Not the sort of person I want to be hanging out with.
Xan and her friend Gretchen came in to join us for dinner. Of course, if it was just Xan I would have continued the conversation. Embarrassing the hell out of our girls is just one of the services that I offer. Well, the conversation kept coming back to the 'thing' that I really didn't feel I should mention in front of Getchen. After a little while of the poor kid being in the dark my sense of not being rude took over. I told her about what I had read. I lean over to her and say I know how it feels when people are talking about something and not telling you what they are talking about. I hate exclusion like that so I am going to tell you what we are talking about. Xan knew it was coming, she cringed. Artie picked up her plate and started to walk out of the kitchen. I put my motherly foot down and made her come back. I lean over to Gretchen and say, "Do you know what a condom is?" Dead silence. Then she made eye contact and nodded. I told her about the blog. She laughed. Everything is allright if they laugh. Xan whined, "Mom!!!!".
It was over. Gretchen got included. I hate exclusion I can't put up with it under most circumstances.
Gretchen's mom calls us her 'colorful friends'...I have a reputation to live up to.
So dear Jane we are sisters in the 'no filter' realm.
Annalise thanks for prompting a very funny and fun dinner.
And to me...I am proud to be an openminded mom.
Ah, you should have seen their faces.