Thursday, June 01, 2006


I wish it was my moving day. Alas it is not.
Today one of our tenants is moving out. She lives in our one bedroom apartment. When she looked at the apartment I told her that if she wanted to fall in love this was the place for her. Every "single" tenant that we have had in that apartment has found the love of their lives and moved out because the apartment is really cozy and just right for one.
So, she's off with her boyfriend for their larger apartment in the sky.
Maggie is movin in and she already has a boyfriend. Wonder what that means.......
It's moving day.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006


Many years ago when daughter #2 was a wee babe she had night terrors. They lasted for about six months. They started when she about a year and half old. Anyone who has lived through night terrors knows that they are frightening as hell!!
She would wake up in the middle of the night and scream. She wasn't really awake. She was in some in between place. She wouldn't let anyone touch her. She saw things that we couln't see. Her hysteria was uncomprehendable. She couln't have anything touch her which, of course, is impossible. She flailed, screamed, talked nonsense, cried. In the morning she would remember nothing and would be herself. My little old soul vibrant daughter #2.
I found that sometimes I could stop it coming. She slept next to me and there was this certain twitch that she would do right before she'd "go off the deep end". If I could catch the twitch then I could connect with her and keep her in the moment, soothe her into staying here on the planet instead heading off into places unknown to me. If I didn't catch the twitch then we discovered that if we got her outside under the stars, walk her around, try to hold onto a feral child, she would calm down, come back to us and still not remember thing in the morning.
In the daylight hours daughter #2 starting telling us a story. It was her waking story. One that came in bits and pieces over a couple month period. One of how her Mommy had left her with Daddy. Daddy was not a nice man and he killed her. Imagine how we felt? From the mouth of our babe comes a horrrific story. A very sad, very adult, very realistic in detail, horrific story.
We came to understand that our daughter. Our very young daughter was reliving her death. The night terrors we witnessed were her reliving her death. It all fell into place. We watched and listened with new ears. The things she said during her hysteria made more sense to us. They way she struggled we saw as her trying to defend herself. The daylight and night time came together as one. It was our truth. I believe it. I lived it. It was a heart wrenching time.
So, what do we do? I had a friend who is an herbologist. I saw her one day in the local health food store. I told her what was going on and was there anything that she recommened. Without skipping a beat she suggested a Bach flower remedy called "Rescue Remedy". She said that Rescue Remedy is really good at bringing people into the moment. I would have tried anything that she recommended!! Rescue Remedy worked so well!! Once we got it into her (it's drops), daughter #2 would settle down enough to be touched and it was easy to get her outside and after walking around she would wake up and then we could all go back inside.
Don't you think that is a great ending to my complicated story? Well, to that part of the story it is. The other half of the story is that someone overheard me in the health food store talking to my friend and decided that I was off my rocker. That person called Child Protective Services because night terrors can be a sign of abuse. Yes, they were right....just very, very wrong. So CPS shows up at my door one day and wants to come in and hear about my daughters' night terrors. They had already been up at school and interviewed daughter #1 and had already interviewed friends of ours. All before they got to my door. I was unnerved. I belong to a Goddess Circle and believe in honoring the Goddess. In my house I have many Goddess statues and wall hangings. I thought that I was fried. I had to sit at our kitchen table and tell the two caseworkers my strange story. Nothing ever came of it. The claim was unfounded.
I am full of the question as to why CPS has showed up at my door twice?
We are very thoughtful parents. We work on our relationship. We try to be better parents than our own. We try to always treat our children as individual humans not as extensions of ourselves.
I am hit with the realization that we live a very alternative life. People observe us and find us fascinating and frightening.
It makes me sad because I love the human race. I love life, people, the planet, all living beings (I could do without cockroaches and there you have it). I think that my children are awesome and turning out to be fantastic women. We get complimented often on how inspirational our family is. We get complimented often on how incredible our girls are.
How then does CPS show up at my door twice?