Thursday, April 03, 2008's ours and we're moving.

This is my new home!I know that I have posted this picture before but it is the only one I have of our new home. We found out yesterday that our proposal was accepted. We have a new home. We will be paying $10.00 (that is not a typo) for our new home. Yep, ten dollars. Our new home in Paducah, KY (not another typo). We are moving to Paducah, KY.
Artie came home from work with these for me.They are so lovely.
We went out for a celebratory dinner at one of our favorite restaurants here in Saratoga. The owner sent over a bottle of champagne because he heard we were celebrating something. When he found out that we were celebrating the ownership of a ten dollar home he made a joke that we should be buying him the champagne. The girls had non-alcoholic delights and we toasted to our thriftyness, our luck, our 3400 square feet, our own bedrooms, our kitchen/dining room that will be bigger than our entire apartment, our new garden space, Michael's studio, Xan & Victoria's 'Kookie Bar', Artie going off to college, and to us 'The Terras'.
Michael and Xan are leaving in June to head down to Paducah and start the renovations. Artie and I will stay here in Saratoga, get jobs and pack up the house to move. We will send Artie off to the Tom Savini's Special Effects Make-Up program at The Douglas School at the end of September than on I go to Paducah to live in my new house. Artie will not see it all until Thanksgiving. Weird, huh? I told her that I will stick all her stuff in her room and she can deal with it then. I'm such a nice mom.
It's almost official. We don't even know yet who to make the check out to or where to send it.
But we know it's ours and we're moving.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

...for all the world to see my secrets.

This is called a "What's on your mind?" bowl. So that whatever you put in it is what's on it's mind.
What's on your mind?
For me it's the thought of getting one of my wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday. I've been having a hard time with my sinuses and come to find out that the roots of one of my upper wisdom teeth are infected so out that sucker is going to come.
I know that lots of people have a hard time with dentists. I think for most of them it is the sounds of the drilling. For me it is having to open my mouth for long periods of time.
It's the emotional fall out from being an incest survivor. I'm a former tooth grinder and I've graduated down to a jaw clencher. It's the result of way too many years of holding a big secret. A whopper. Don't be too surprised or feel sad for me I've been out of the closet for years. When I first starting talking about my incest and doing therapy it was my whole identity. I think that I walked around my world with a big neon sign over my head that said, "Hey how are ya? I'm an incest survivor!".
Last night I was at a get together with my weaving class and I was telling everyone about not wanting to get my tooth pulled and everyone was assuring me that it was no big deal until I explained to them how it was a big deal for me. One of my weaving friends looks me in the eye and told that she, too, is an incest survivor and understood completely. We understood each other completely in that moment.
Once, years ago, I was at an audition for a commercial. The casting director came out to check on all the women waiting for their turn and started talking about this court case that was happening in NYC. Apparently a woman killed a man after he had broken into her apartment and he was in the process of raping her. The prosecution was claiming that since she had left her window open this man had not broken in. Yeah this is true. The casting director then asked how many women in the room had been raped. There must have been 20 or so of us and about 7 of us raised our hands.
I knew all those women completely in that moment, too. And in case you are wondering, it was my worst audition ever. That women brought up so much shit for me and I was the next one that had to go in there and be excited about whatever stupid product it was that I was there to shamelessly promote.
But I ramble.
I am going to the dentist on Thursday and getting my wisdom tooth pulled. I am hoping that it will give my sinuses a break and in return my sinuses will give me a break. I am also hoping that I don't have to sit there too long with my jaw open for all the world to see my secrets.