Saturday, July 29, 2006

BEAT THE DRUM SLOWER SO THAT I MAY FEEL DOUBLE TIME

I am awake much too early. For me, anyway.
Today is the day that husband and his brother are going into their family home to put post it notes on items of the personal property that they want. It's a shitty out of court settlement. They each get 2 1/2 hours individually to complete an impossible task. Hopefully it well get the ball rolling and we can ditch the East Coast.
I feel like I'm stuck in humid sludge and I can't move. Can't breath. Can't focus on anything worth focusing on.
I want to hold husband. Do not let him go into the house alone. But I must, that is the agreement. Something that I've learned in the last couple of months is that we are honorable people....horrid sister is not. Horrid sister is quite disturbed.
Husband is equipped with a voice activated recorder, a digital camera, a cell phone, pre-marked post its (his are blue and extra sticky), and a list that we have made. How unprotected he is. How vulnerable. He has not set foot into his parent's home since his mother has died.
She (you know who) cut everyone off as soon as their mom was buried. No access, no telling. I can't imagine what today will bring for her brothers. Her cruelty is.....no good words...just is.
I'm so.........just so......just so unable to express myself.
Can you beat the drum slower so that I may feel double time?