Wednesday, June 21, 2006


My husband and his brother got a letter from Horrid Sister. Basically the jist is....Mom loved and trusted me best and you are just going to have to live with yourselves. She is horrid alright. Now she is saying that she will only allow her brothers into the house one at a time with post it notes. Each brother gets to walk around with a pad of post its and put a post it on what he wants. Then whenever probate is over they get to come and pick up whatever is theirs. And we guess that she will decide who gets what when they both want the same thing or if either of them wants what she wants.
Wow!!! Isn't she the poster woman for fairness? No other family member is allowed in.
What a trip huh? There are things that Michael is interested in and we want to go and look at them to see if we really want that in our house. Imagine that? How insane and unreasonable of us. I have been in my M-I-L's house many times. I lived in that house for almost a year but for the life of me I can't remember what her bureau looks like or if the trundle bed in the guest room is really something that we want to drag across the country. What a pain. A royal fucking pain.
My husband and I wrote a letter to Horrid Sister trying to appeal to her sense of fairness and trying to just get her to do the just thing. Oh NO!!!!! It's not a part of her make up these days. She said in her letter that she knows for certain that her mother had no intention of giving anything to her son's spouses. That must be why about 7 weeks before she died she wanted me to walk through her house with her and tell her what I wanted. I really didn't want to do that with her so I put her off and we made a plan that I would do it with her when we got back from Florida. Frankly, there really isn't anything that I want for myself that is in that house. I am interested in deciding with my husband what is best to bring into our home and I am interested in things that our children want. What a witch!!!
So this weekend husband and daughter #2 and I spent time with my mom. On Sunday my mom set up a meeting with my two brothers and I. We all walked through the house and decided what we wanted. It took hours! My oldest brother only wants a few things and he was done in 15 minutes. So the rest of the day it was my other brother and myself and my mom. It was a sweet time. We walked from room to room and Mom talked about things. We learned a lot about our family history. I made lists of what everyone wanted. When we were done going through the rooms I sat down with my brother and we went through the things that we both wanted. We talked it through and when we were only down to one item we had daughter #2 flip a coin for us. Lots of stuff like nic-nacs and figurines and cake plates and dolls and beanie babies and barbies and the whole Franklin Mint collectable shit (was that my outside voice?) can all be divided later amoungst all the children and grandchildren. My brother and I had a really nice day and it felt good to give up wanting my Dad's chair knowing that now whenever my brother has dinner at my mom's house that is where he sits because he is the head of the house now. He should have that chair. He let me have the Spode Christmas China because it is really an expression of my mom and I want to always remember her using it. We split up a bureau and night table set because our Nana painted roses on them and that way we could each have one. I got the night stand that Daddo built because my brother has more toys and forts that Daddo built.
Mom is not even near death but it felt good to take care of all of it. It was a good day. As it should be.