Tuesday, August 08, 2006


Sorry for the lame title but I was at my Mom's house this weekend and she played John Denver. And yes, we all swayed and say along.

I called girl #1 last week to talk to her about flying back to NY in September. I'm thinking that we will be lucky if we can leave by the the beginning of October and it's time for her to come back and be with us. Guess what her answer is?.... "NO".
Shit. Now what does a good, thoughtful, caring parent do? It was all I good do to hold my super-mom hands from reaching through the phone lines and wopping her upside the head.
So, we made an agreement. Alright so I made the agreement. I gave her a week to figure it out. I told her that if she gave me a seriously compelling senario of a job, a place to live, and a homeschool agenda (it's her senior year) then I would seriously consider letting her stay. Really, I would. I mean, who can blame her...I don't like it here either. What makes me think that she likes it here and wants to come back to the awfullnes that we are dealing with?
So, last night I call her (the week is up).
"Hey, we need to talk about you flying home to us. What have you figured out?", I say with a bright and chipper sticatto.
"I'm working on it. I've been busy. I told you I am not leaving. You are not home. I am home and I don't like NY. I am not leaving.", she replied.
(I wanted to loose my cool. Scream at her that I own her and she better get her ass on a plane when I tell her to with no questions asked. Why didn't I raise a doormat?)
"Sweetie, honey, I gave you a week to figure it out and you haven't done that. We need to figure this out because the longer I wait the more expensive a ticket is going to be. I need this figured tonight", I calmly say back.
"I told you I've been busy Mom. (Oh, yeah, swimming with friends and overnights at the beach) Go ahead a buy me a ticket but I am not leaving", she says almost tersely.
Then it ensues into the Mom arguement of she's only 17 and she may not like it but she does not have the leisure to say "NO" about this until she's 18. (lame huh?)
She counters my "you need to come back (can't say the word home, she already told me NY is not home) and homeschool" ploy with the arguement that we don't homeschool and she's getting more done on her own than she ever did with me. (ouch!)
We came really close to "yes you are!" and "no I"m not!" but we didn't.
I finally said, "You have to come up with a date and if you don't have your plans to stay figured out by that date than you need to agree to come back to your family."
Dead silence.
"I'll call you tomorrow, Mom"
"OK talk to you tomorrow (you brave, powerful, not a doormat, frustrating, kick ass daughter of mine) honey."

She's not leaving on that jet plane.


Jane_hates_Dick said...

For what it's worth, I think you're handling this situation extremely well. Being several years away from that, I can't quite imagine it... and yet, I can.

Annalise said...

I really admire you for not losing your cool. Hard to deal with stuff like that over the phone! I hope your daughter comes up with an option that everyone can live with.

madre-terra said...

Thanks ladies! As I was going to bed last night I reminded myself that today was a new day. Yesterday was not my favorite day.
Annalise...there seem to be no comment places at your blog :(
Loved the pictures of Devon. Remind me of my high school days in England.