BLUE SKIES OUT THERE

We had a very good weekend. It was our first time doing this particular show and it was fun. We had great neighbors. On one side we had a woman from Isreal who made jewelry out of bottle caps and on the other a husband and wife who make hand-made chenille jackets. We laughed a lot. We ate chocolate. It poured!! I was very glad that I decided to book us under the big top. We saw many of our customers that we haven't seen in a while. Which means that it was a good thing that we sent out a mailing.
I want to share with you a few of the artists that really caught my eye. At every show that we go to we all try to walk around and look at stuff. During dinner we usually discuss the things that intrigued us. It's fun to know what each other is attracted to and why. Two of my favorites are href="http://www.monaadisabrooks.com">Mona and href+"http://www.primitivetwig.com">Bill & Marcia Finks. Mona makes funky dolls and other sculptures. The Finks' do metal sculpture. I bought a metal sculpture from Bill a month ago. It's a pair of old spice tins made into a couple. We call them the Mccormicks and we just love them!!
This blog took me a couple of days because I wanted to put the links in. One day to think that I wanted to to it. One day to print out the instructions. One day to ignore the instructions. One day to try and use them.
Tomorrow is daughter #1's interview with the CPS caseworker. Hopefully this will all be over soon. But, I do see blue skies out there.

AND WE'RE OFF.....

I'm up before everybody else. Not uncommon. I'm the morning bell. The wake-up call. My gentle voice rings through out the house, "Wake-up girls. Time to get up.". Five minutes laters my gentle voice rings through out the house, "Wake-up girls. Time to get out of bed.". Fifteen minutes later my gentle voice rings through out the neighborhood, "Come on girls. Get up.".
Twenty minutes later my gentle voice rings through out the county, "Get out of bed now!!!!.".
This morning we are packing up for a show in Tarrytown, NY. This one is supposedly a very snooty one so we washed our rubber floor mats yesterday and the side panels to our tent. We want to look fresh and snappy for all our customers. Husband says it feels like the circus everytime we set up and break down. Not just because we are clowns. It's the magic of creation. Starting with a blank space and filling it.
So, off we go in our big white van, Moby, with hopes that someone remembered to bring cash for tolls. We've been known to forget and have to borrow from the girls. This show is at an estate, it might even be some sort of national park...something like that. It's a mansion called, Lyndhurst. On Sunday morning we get a free tour of the mansion. I'm thinking...homeschool!
Mornings that we leave for shows are like being at the horse races. We are twitchy, anxious. Everybody running around trying to gather what they need and trying not to forget the stuff you really need. We pile into our very own big white, starting gate...and we're off.

IT'S REALLY GREY OUT THERE

In a million years. No, in a million, trillion years will you guess what I did this morning.
We got a visit from CPS. Someone called in a complaint about us. There is a child abuse hotline here in NY and someone called in their hot tip of the day. They feel that our children are being homeschooled improperly. They referred to it as "educational neglect". They said that our children have to work in our pottery business. And something to the effect that there is just all around neglect.
The interview process was rather painless. The CPS worker was pleasant and great with our youngest daughter (who was wigged out!). We answered all her questions. We gave her a tour of our apartment. She interviewed daughter #2 (daughter #1 was at a friends house). We had to give her someone else to contact to ask about us. We did. We talked about unschooling and child directed learning. We set up an appointment for her to interview daughter #1.
Now we just sit back and wait. Who would do this? Is it someone wanting to give us a hard time? Or is it someone that in their heart of hearts truly feels that our children are not getting a proper education and we are neglecting them? We will never know. Ouch!
There will always be a case file on us now.
Is this backlash from horrid sister? The timing works. The call was made on the same day that she finds out that her brother is revoking his waiver and contesting the will and her as executrix. Would she? Could she?
I can't find my rose colored glasses. It's really grey out there.

RAINING BUCKETS

It is literally. Raining buckets out there. I sit at the our desk in front of the window and see rain. Lots of water. I find weather comforting.
I told him. Read my last post if you're interested in what that means. I don't feel like getting into it but I talked, he listened, was receptive. For the moment it is enough. In the near future I will have to revisit the discussion because he needs to talk. For the moment...it is enough.
We went to the lawyer's office yesterday and Husband singed an affidavit saying that he is revocing his waiver of consent (for his sister being the executor of his mom's will). He and his brother are also contesting the will and contesting their sister as the executrix. How sad and ugly it all is. Both brothers and their spouses spent three hours with the lawyer on Monday. Draining, draining, draining. In a nutshell...Sister is not really doing anything illegal. Here in NY state the executor gets carte blanche. She is within her legal right to shut everyone out of the house and it is her right to divide (all by herself) the residuary estate equally between she and her brothers. She may decide who gets what as long as everything is monetarily equal. She could, if she gets insane enough, liquidate it all and give her brothers equal shares of cash.
So her brothers are taking legal action. They are going to contest her as executor and contest the will. They are going forward with their pistols blazing, the fog machine spueing, the fireworks bursting. And....I can't say anymore about it right now. I can't tell you what their plan is because who knows who will read this....I can't tell you what it is they are really after because I don't want it read by the wrong person. When I can, I will......
I will say that we thought long and hard about it. It pains husband and I to do this. Sister has become suspect and untrustworthy. We don't want to cause her pain. Husband wants fairness and equality. Sister isn't answering questions directly, not allowing access to their parents home, she's being secretive, she won't even get together with her brothers to plan mom's memorial. Now it is time to let the lawyer deal with her...we are getting nowhere. In a way it is a relief. I am so emotionaly distraught about all this. Kinda nice to know that I don't have to spend all of my being trying to figure out what to do next to make sister be reasonable. I can sit back and breath and let the lawyer do her job.
It's raining buckets down my face.

There's a riff in my universe

It's late. I awoke from a very sound sleep. 4:00 AM and all is quiet and still and I am unsettled.
Something happened. Something unsettling, frightening, not outrageously terrifying. Maybe close to terrifying. I need help women!! I need women to tell me what they would do. What would you do if someone you loved caused something that could have quite nearly injured or possibly killed those nearest and dearest to you (included the person that caused this event) and is not taking responsibility for it.
The event:
We haved planned an outing with an overnight in a hotel for my Mom's birthday. We decide to take her car because we own a van and her car gets better gas mileage than our car. Husband is driving the car. Two hours into our outing we stop and get gas. I buy chips for everyone. We get back on the road. Husband is driving. I am in the passenger seat. Daughter #1, daughter #2, and my mom are in the back. The girls are passing the chips forward for husband and I to have some. I pass the chips back. I think that I am looking at the directions (not clear, but I am not paying attention). Husband reaches his hand in the back to get the bag of chips. I look up we are in the left hand lane and we are startling close to a red jeep next to us. I say in surprise Husband's name. He makes a sound of surprise and the next thing I know we are swerving out of control all over the road. He is trying to gain control but it seems that every time he turns the wheel the front end of the car goes in that direction and the back end goes in the opposite direction. Daughter #2 is crying. Daughter #1 has grabbed her and is holding daughter #2's head to her chest. My mom is saying things like, "Oh my god!". We swerve out of control 3? 4? I don't know how many times and then we are driving down into a ravine or embankment through an old fence and toward bramble (big bramble bushes). When we hit the bottom, husband swerves the car quickly to the right so that we do not hit a bunch of metal pipes (or post or rails) that is on the embankment going up the opposite side. The car stopped.
We all ask at the same time if everyone is ok. Everyone is ok. Nobody was thrown around. Daughter #2 is crying. Her head still being held by daughter #1. My mom is saying, "What happened? What happened? Oh my god!". Husband starts the car and turns it toward the embankment to drive back up it. I say he can't do that it is too steep. It was he stops.
We get out of the car. It is a mess. The bumper is broken and pushed back. The driver side headlight is broken. The driver side mirror is broken off. The car is covered with scratches, big ones, all over the roof, the sides, the back. There are dents in the side where the car was turned suddenly in the bramble.
The man in the red jeep in walking down to our car to see if we are ok. Some other car, a white one, has stopped as well. The red jeep man is saying things about how lucky we are to be allright. Stuff like that. Husband is telling him that the driver side brake seized up on him and he was desperately trying to remember the high speed defensive driving class that he took thirty years ago. A cop shows up. We are all out of the car now and sitting on the grass. Stunned. I call AAA. They are coming to winch the car out. More cops show up to make/take an accident report. We've got 3 cruisers and an EMT guy (but the EMT doesn't stay). The car gets winched out. We get towed to a brake place to have the brakes checked. We are all still stunned. We walk over to a chinese restaraunt dive and we all order bad chinese that none of us can finish. We wait at the brake p[ace. It seems that the brakes check out fine. Apparently this was a freak thing...perhaps.
We all get back in the car. Husband wants to drive to make sure the car is ok. It seems there is no mechanical damage. Husband saved the bottom of the car by avoiding the metal in the ravine. We drive to our first destination. To the Flax clothing sale. And then to the hotel where we order in. We go to the Corning Glass Museum (out of sight wonderful!!!) and we drive home.
What would you do if your husband caused an accident that he hasn't apoligized for. He said he was sorry that the car is a mess. He said that he was glad I wasn't driving because it was terrifying. I think I snapped at him and came back with some answer like I felt a comment like that sounded like he was saying I wouldn't be able to handle myself or the car. He got up to ask some questions at the info booth (we were all sitting at a table having birch beers). It was then that I asked my daughters what happened before the red jeep came so close. "Dad had is hand in the back seat" was their reply. When husband came back the girls took off to buy stuff and my mom went to the bathroom. I told him that I thought he should apologize to my mom. He said he had. I said that I believed him that the brake seized but I had just found out that his hand had been in the back seat and that action had set off a series of events that ended in a car accident. He nodded agreement.
As we were sitting in the ravine, husband and I got out of the car first. We gave each other a hug. Apparently my mom was saying to our girls stuff about look what your father has done.
I told husband that we should pay my mom's deductable on her insurance. He agreed.
I awoke with a start tonight. I cannot participate in a play where husband is the savior. He caused an accident. He handled the car well when it swerved out of control. He kept his cool. He saw the big metal stuff at the bottom of the ravine and avoided it. He caused it and not once has he said to anyone that he is sorry for causing it.
My head hurts. My toes are numb. My chest is tighter than Jane Fonda's ass. My marriage is in an iffy state as it is. I have to talk to husband tell him how I feel. Our daughters need to know that he is sorry for what happened and take responsibility for his part in the cause. He needs to talk to my mother.
I am grateful for his cool head under pressure. I am not sure that I could have handled the car as he did. We could have easily flipped. I am not comfortable with his not admitting his role in how this came to be.
How do I approach the man I love and say, "Hey, you've got to come clean on this one." or "Our girls need to know that you are taking responsibility for what happened."
Oh I know that I am going to talk to him. Mom leaves this morning and we have an appointment with a lawyer. Later on today. I wish that I could have a heart to heart before my Mom left but that won't happen.

Oh women. Oh women. What would you do? I just want to know. What would you do?

the horrid sister

So it has been many months (perhaps longer) since my last post. Husband's mom has passed away and we are in the throws of dealing with her estate and getting our house ready to sell. We finally get to go home for good. AHHH thoughts of going home...just one house..one property...one address...home!
Things here on the East Coast are not going to well at the moment. Husband's sister is being horrid! Mom-in-law has been dead for 2 months now and sister (who is the executrix nominee) won't allow anyone into m-i-l's house, is being exclusive, and has admitted to starting to divide the stuff that gets divided between she and her brothers. What the fuck!? When she gets emailed with questions she claims that we are bothering her and keeping her from doing her job. When she gets asked specific questions she is evasive and doesn't answer them. She has backed everyone into a corner and now we are in the process of looking for a lawyer to represent husband and his brother. Brothers against sister...how ugly.
We went and saw a friend of ours who is a criminal law lawyer and he said that she is showing all the signs of someone who is getting ready to rip us off. We didn't want to hear that. We want to get together, forget our differences and just do what has to be done. Sister-in-law has not gotten together with her brothers at all. She conveniently is not available whenever they have tried.
She stood in our kitchen 4 weeks ago and told husband that he is being hateful. The poor guy hasn't done anything but asked to get into his mom's house to say goodbye to her. Now everything in the house is being dimantled and put into piles. So much for saying goodbye there!!
So, off we are going to court. s-i-l is going to have a cow!! When she finds out that her brothers have got a lawyer and want her to cough up some accounting, let them into the house, share lists that she found that mom had made, and give an inventory of the house she is going to pop a gasket. Wish I could see it but that pleasure is going to have to live in my imagination. If she doesn't comply than they are going to petition her to be removed and replaced by husband (who is next in line on the list in the will).
Other than that we are all doing well. Daughter #1 is flying home to Lopez in June and living with friends until we arrive. She has got herself 3 jobs: working at Isabels coffee house, working in a bookstore, and babysitting. It's a safe place for her to experiment being on her own. Daughter #2 is totally envious of her sister being 17 and being able to take off. She is in the middle of some powerful puberty and we never know what face is going to greet us at any time! She still likes to play soccer and still wants to be a chef. Husband is busily producing ceramics. He is distressed with the whole estate stuff. Me? I'm taking a weaving class (my solace!!) and trying to "keep it together".
Must be off.....
will be back.......

Mail

I like to get things in the mail. Since I don't write letters (I am a terrible correspondent) I order things on Ebay. It's the best way to keep a steady stream of packages arriving on my door step. My neighbors must think that my life is full of friends that I constantly correspond with. I've got them all fooled!!
I really like ebay. I hate to shop. The mall...egh!!! I will go to the occasional store to try on stuff to figure out what size I am then I head on home to ebay. I have found over the year that I have been ebaying that I must have discipline. "Yes grasshopper, do not get sucked into the auction. There will always be another to bid on." I am a thrift shop ebayer. I go for the bargains and only what I really want. Well, I go for the bargains. There has been an occasional "Why did I get that?". Because it was cheap is usually the answer.
I buy books for girls (I like half.com too) and gadgets for the home and shoes and clothes. God, I love to buy clothes. I like Flax, Sacred Threads, Overalls, and Blue Fish and games (don't forget the games!).
Just today we got a game called "curses" and a book for Artie. The former from ebay the latter from half.com.
I like to sit at the computer and look at all the offerings. I call it being on the love lines. I'm connected to other humans. I'm purchasing useful item for my family. I'm contributing to some other human's household instead of a huge corporation. I am so full of goodness I just might go up a pant size!!
It's good come out of the closet and announce to the world that I like ebay!! I love the ebay commercials on TV. I, too, do it ebay!
Blessings....V

The Out House

We have payed off our property. An achievement that I never thought that I would attain.
Now we are getting a loan. We may be poor but we have great equity! Getting the loan, we now have a line of credit, was easy. What has not been easy is getting the home insurance that we need to have in order to finalize our loan.
We live in a dome. Michael designed and built it. We live off of solar and wind power. We do not a toilet inside our house. We have an out house. We have a post and pier foundation and we have torch down roofing. We don't even tell the insurance agents anymore that we have a woodstove.
Well pardon me for living creatively and thoughtfully!!!!!
I like our out house. Lot's of people on Lopez only have out houses. Our out house is built to look like a shed. On the inside there are shelves in the back that have paint cans on them. I must admit that wasn't our doing...it was one of our caretakers. I can live with the shelves and paint though. Years ago I started stapling postcards on the wall. Our friend Andy sends us the classic artists on 4x6 and I dutifully wait until I've got a stack of them and then out there I go to staple them on the wall.
I like to sit and do my business with the door open. I get to look at the meadow and the tree line in the distant. During the day I hear birds and crickets. In the spring we are serenaded by frogs. In the mornings sometimes the mist is ethereal and enchanting. In the night I can hear the deer snorting. In the rain I dawn a light rain jacket and sit in the dry and watch the rain splash as I splash. I see Humphrey Head in the distance. It looks like a cliff, rocky and majestic. Sometimes our neighbor is using his air strip and a plane is going overhead and the out house rattles.
We have a book of jokes there for the one who likes to sit and sit and sit. We have toilet paper. We have peat moss for when you poo. We always sprinkle a can of peat moss over our poo. It keeps the out house smelling of dirt instead of feces.
I like our out house. I've been using an out house now for 10 yrs. It makes me feel connected and ancestral. For all the women that have squatted in the fields and on the trail I honor as I sit in my shed looking out over the meadow into the plum trees.
When we have off-island visitors we tell them that we live rustically. If they sleep over they need a tent ( our dome is too small), our shower is in the kitchen, and we have an out house. We have a large garden and the most amazing blackberries in season. I think that my out house is in paradise!!!
So, screw the insurance agent who is speechless at the thought of no indoor toilet. They are dumb founded when the word dome comes rolling off my lips like melted chocolate. But I don't want to get started on my insurance issues!! I hate( and I mean, HATE! Like getting shingles, hate. Or having a roach infestation, hate. Or fingernails on the chalkboard, hate) insurance and I'm right in the thick of having to deal with getting it.
Oh the woes, the woes, the woes.
Blessings....V

Voodoo

Something weird happened today. Michael doesn't like me to tell people about his "voodoo" but I'm going to because no one reads this and I want too.
Today Michael was by himself in our booth over at the Anacortes Arts Festival. I stayed home with the kids. He got a volunteer booth sitter to stay in our booth while he went to the bathroom. After he gets back and the booth sitter has left Michael discovers that someone has gone into his backpack, leaving it open and stolen our digital camera. He immediately calls me and tells me that it's gone. He knows because he NEVER leaves his backpack unzipped. He then says that he has got to find the person who took it. It was obviously not the booth sitter. I ask how are you going to find this person and he says he is going to use his "voodoo".
Michael is a telepath and very psychic. He calls me a couple hours later to tell me that he found the culprit. It was a middle aged woman, well dressed, with long brown hair. He saw her walking on the opposite side of the street from our booth. He caught up with her and invited her into our booth to have some privacy and confronted her. He told her that he knew she had the camera and she could either give it back or he would get the police. At first she denied everything but then she gave him the camera and two pens that she had stolen. It was kinda funny...like the pens mattered. And off she went ... a criminal at large. I bet Michael scared the hell out of her. He is really intense and who knows what he actually said to her to make her believe that he knew that she had the camera. I imagine that he told her some dirty little secret that she had hidden in her mind. He probably blew her socks off!!!
I don't know all the details yet, we didn't have time to really chat about it. Michael said that he had a whopping headache. Poor guy, he really put himself out there to catch this person. He was determined. He was so distraught because it would be such a struggle for us to replace it.
Even if he did the call police what would he have said? "Well officer my psychic vibe says that this woman has my camera" or "I know what she's thinking and she's thinking about my camera".
We did agree that the promoters of the show need to know that a thief is around and to let other vendors know. So he was going to call them and let them know.
Weird huh?
Other than that I feel like I'm fighting off a cold.
Blessings....V

How to mend a broken heart and other parental challenges

Today my daughter, Xan calls up one of her buddies to wish her a Happy Birthday. I had seen said friends Mom in town yesterday and she told me that today was her birthday. Well come to find out said friend is having a Birthday Party and Xan was not invited. Said friend's Mom felt pretty awful about the whole thing. She is a yacker and went on and on about how bad she felt. Finally I had to tell her that I had to get off the phone and take care of my daughter who's feeling I could tell where hurt.
Poor Xan. She has a broken heart because she is feeling left out and not liked. Poor Me. I have a broken heart because Xan's feeling were hurt. I want to make it all better for her. I want her to be well liked and feel secure in her friendships. I don't want people to blow her off and have her feelings hurt.
We talked. Xan expressed how that in the last month her friend has not been returning phone calls and has snubbed Xan when she has seen her in town. Xan cried and went upstairs to be alone. She came down later and when I asked her how she was doing she said that it felt really good to say out loud how she had been feeling about her friend. We got Xan on the phone and called around and got her a playmate for this afternoon. Someone that she really wants to play with summer and our schedules haven't worked out. So all seems good. But is it? Xan has a few friends in Saratoga and less here on Lopez. All my buttons are being pushed. Are we doing the right thing? Do we need to move back to Lopez , like yesterday, so that she can get involved in the public school so that she can socialize? My baby is lonely and I don't know how to fix it. What a crappy situation!!!! Because we were gone from Lopez for four years she lost all the connections that she had with other kids her age and the reintergration for her has been challenging. Artie remembers all her old friends as they do her but Xan was only 4 when we left and remembers none of her old playmates or they her. Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!!!! I worry for my children's' well being.
No one told me that with mothering came such intense emotions and the desire to slay any mere human that would cause my children emotional turmoil. Maybe I need to heed the cliche that rolled off my tongue yesterday like dew off a petal..."Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger". Loneliness, not belonging, feeling like no one likes you, these are all feelings that we all have at all stages of our life. I can't make these things not happen or the hurt to go away...I can only let her know that she's a good person and well liked by more than the few and help her to love herself.
I am going to buy her an address book and let her get the addresses of all her friends here so that while we are away she will keep in touch and keep the friendships going.
Parenting is a difficult task and somewhere along the line I lost the directions!
Blessings.....V

It's not a small world after all

It's been a long time since I blogged. I needed to spend some time away to figure out what is this that I am doing. I've decided that I will continue to blog. It is good and cleansing to write.
This weekend we went to the Faerieworlds Festival at a place called "Hornings Hideout" in North Plains, OR. It was attractive to us because we sell M's artwork at the Florida Renaissance Festival and we thought this would be just a fun. It was. I do not know how to do links yet but the web address is www.faerieworlds.com.
Anyway it was a weekend of music (Celtic and ethereal), faerie artists (Brian and Wendy Froud, Amy Brown etc...), and a craft village (people like us). I went with the expectation of learning more about music and making a lot of money. Well, the girls had a blast!!!! They mingled with the faerie artists, got autographs and danced up a storm. Michael and I worked very long hours, we barely slept, and we made a moderate sum of money. Two stores approached M about wholesaling and that is good and exciting. These two stores made our weekend. I learned some about some new bands. I listened to Solas, Woodland, Taarka, Rasputina, and Trillian Green. All of which I liked. Music for some reason is not one of the things that we spend our money on and it was a treat to hear so much of it!!
Now I am back home and today I went to the Froud's website. I learned over the weekend that they are one of the promoters of this event. Ahhh, a light goes on in my head. That is why the festival was the "all about Brian Froud show"! I was thinking it a bit odd over the weekend. Michael had had a conversation with one of the promoters a couple of weeks before the show. They talked about him making commemorative mugs. He did and they were a bust. All that work for not..because everyone there was into getting there Brian Froud print or book signed by Brian Froud. We have about 24 Faerieworlds Festival mugs (with dragon skin and dragon handles) if anyone wants one. We need to have a talk with that certain promoter about the whole thing.
So today I am thinking that it is not a small world after all!!! I spent just about an hour at the Frouds website and that led me to the Mythic Journeys website and I also went to the Desert Sin website. Desert Sin is a dance/performance company in LA that focuses on middle eastern dance and performance art...very cool!!! They look like a bunch of blue Krishnas in their publicity photos. And then I was Comic-con a comic book conference. All of this came from the Frouds and where they have been and what they are doing. There are a lot of people out there doing and experiencing things that I very rarely think about. My world is puny and hopefully not insignificant. Right now my brain hurts with the expanse of humans and thinking of all their puny lives like mine. That's a lot of lives and worlds and experiences. There are so many of us. So many who know and experience so much that I can't even imagine. I feel really, really small at the moment. It's a humbling, good small.
I'm back.
Blessings.....V

The Take It Or Leave It

We have a recycling center here on Lopez Island. We call it The Take It Or Leave It and we call it Neals' Mall.
Neal is the guy who works for the county waste department and he runs everything at the dump. He is very tall, thin, has a really long beard and long hair, very quiet, soft spoken, wears glasses, and always has a pair of overalls on. We love Neal!!!
A part of our very cool dump is the recycling center. We are way into recycling here! And a part of the recycling center is The Take It Or Leave It.
The Take It Or Leave It is housed in a huge shed closed on three sides and open the whole width of one side. Most stuff is put into categories, by whoever brings it in and by volunteers when the dump is closed. We have clothes: baby's', children's', women's', men's', tons of jeans, coats, dresses, shoes, boots. You name it, we don't take it to the thrift shop we take it to the dump! We don't buy things at the thrift shop, we go to the dump!
We have books, bikes, vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers, pots, pans, games, dishes, old fencing, couches, chairs, anything and everything.
My husband loves to go there every Sat., Sun., and Wed. He's sometimes gone for hours. Sorting, waiting for someone else to bring in a load, chatting with friends. It's his coffee clutch. Everyone at the dump knows Michael. He's a true scavenger. He keeps a list on our desk of things that he wants to have appear at the dump. There are many like him on Lopez. They have a friendly competitiveness between them...they are always wanting to be the first person there when the dump opens and the last person there when it closes.
Sometimes Michael will go two or three times a day to see what has been brought in.
Today I was suppose to meet Michael at The Take Or Leave It at noon when it opened to pick up something he saw on Sunday but couldn't fit it in the car. I waited, he was late. While waiting I picked up 5 pairs of jeans for Xan to try on. Someone came in with a Uhaul and unloaded a bunch of stuff from their house that they just sold. From them I got two shucking knives, a silver ladle (I even went to them to make sure that they wanted to give it away. They did. Yay me!), a pair of scissors, a silver serving spoon and two boxes of ziploc storage bags. Oh, and a really good small knife.
Michael just walked in the door from his second round of recycling. He brought home Artie some professional hair dyeing capes and glitter for Xan.
Life is full of stuff. I love our Take It Or Leave It. We collect stuff and we leave it for someone else to collect. Stuff! Wonderful, wonderful stuff!!!

I've had the flu...

I've had the flu. A yucky, on the couch for days, flu. I am now going to attempt to finish this 100 things thing so I can write about more important things!

More of me...

36. As I child I would sit in my closet in a white frilly dress and smoke cigarettes. Somehow is was a sacred place for me.
37. I gave up smoking when I was in my twenties. At the time I smoked 2 packs a day.
38. I do not find myself very interesting and it is very hard to write this.
39. I was once asked by a therapist if I felt alone. My reply was, "no". They said that this is uncommon of people who have suffered abuse. In my case, incest. Maybe I have angels or spirit guides who stick close enough to have their presence felt?
40. My favorite charities are The Heifer Project and Food For Life. I give to them both.
41. I am a democrat who has voted for Ralph Nader for years. This year I will not. I am sad about that.
42. I want life to be an adventure. I don't want to blow the only chance I'm getting as me, Victoria.
43. I believe in reincarnation.
44. I was in the hospital room with my Grandfather when he was dyeing and I did not tell him that I loved him because I was feeling self conscious. I regret that.
45. I love to walk on the beach in the rain.
46. I like food...all kinds.
47. When I gave birth to my first daughter I was terrified. Really terrified!!! I was beside myself with anguish over her being a girl and I would have to be her Mom.
48. When my second daughter came along we invited some friends to her birth and we had chocolate cake and champagne after she arrived. I'm getting all weepy thinking about it. It was great!!!
50. My love for my children overwhelms me. Nobody ever told me it would be so big!!
51. Sometimes I wonder what planet my husband came from.
52. Sometimes I wonder what planet I came from!
53. Most of the time I think that we are each others' salvation.
54. Before moving to Lopez Island. Michael and I lived in Tucson, AZ for 5 yrs.
55. I miss it there sometimes. I particularly miss the smell of mesquite burning in peoples' fireplaces in the winter.
56. After Michael and I were married we traveled to Mexico. We bought a Volkswagen "thing" and drove it back to MA. It took us about 5 months. We were looking for a place to live. Tucson won.
57. I love the Mexican influence in Tucson.
58. I believe that when I am cooking I infuse whatever I make with love.
59. I like my lifestyle of traveling, selling artwork, and homeschooling.
60. I am starting to learn about permaculture.
61. I drink a spirulina smoothie just about every morning. My mental health needs it!!
Spirulina has natural lithium in it.
62. I have an ulcer.
63. I think that people view me as really nice and always happy. Most people don't know me very well.
64. I very rarely confide in people.
65. I like my own company.
66. My mothers' voice rings in my ears whenever I am getting dressed. It says, "Are you wearing that?".
67. We own a van called, Motor Yacht Trixie.
68. When Artie was a toddler she use to run up to our Volkswagen van, Aunt Tobey, and give her a big hug and a kiss. I think the kids at the Montessori school thought we were weird.
69. Life is a trip. I just keep wondering when I'm going to get there!
70. I love to go snorkeling.
71. I like to meet people. People are very interesting to me.
73. I believe that everyone has an incredible story to tell.
74. I have some wonderful extended family.
75. My very dearest friend is a man.
76. I believe in the Goddess and that Jesus Christ was an amazing prophet.
77. My favorite Holiday is Passover.
78. Birthdays are a big deal in my house!!! We love to make birthday cake creations!!
79. My husband moves at warp speed and sometimes I get tired just thinking about all the stuff he does!
80. I like to watch "Gilmore Girls" and "Judging Amy" on TV.
81. As a family we watch Star Trek.
82. My favorite movie is "Time Bandits". Well, one of my favorites.
83. When I was a girl, I belonged to The Partridge Family Fan Club.
84. I'm glad this is almost done. It cuts my chances of total humiliation down.
85. I like to make people feel good about themselves.
86. I coo over my cats. I think I make a complete fool of myself trying to get their attention.
87. Michael met and got married in NYC.
88. When we lived together we would head over to Times Square and see what movies were playing right then and there and go see one. We called it, Movie Roulette.
89. Now I play Check Roulette.
90. Michael and I were married at city hall. The Justice of The Peace held the doors open an extra few minutes because Michael was running back from the Judges' chambers with our exemption (not to wait 24 hrs. after getting our marriage license). We were married at 11:37 AM on August 17, 1987. Nobody except us has been married at that time. As far as I know.
91. I'm sure you can do the math....but, I've been married for 17 years.
93. Xan is really forward to me being done with this so that I can pay attention to her. She keeps asking me if I'm done yet. Can you relate?
94. I collect shells. I've got boxes of them. Someday I'll put all to some use.
95. I own an old upright piano that was my solace as a child. I have dragged that piano to several locations. My father calls it "that god damn piano". It would have easier if I had bonded with a teddy bear. But I didn't so where I go...it goes. Right now it is in storage here on Lopez.
96. I have a stuffed animal that I made as a child. His name is Ricky raccoon. I love him and he sits on my bookshelf.
97. I have had all my furniture in storage since we moved to Lopez. It has been 11 years. We plan to move everything out this summer...or next.
98. I tend to be impatient. I like immediate results.
99. I have a desire to create mosaics. I want to work with tiles and stones and mortar.
100. Life is good!
101. I like to sing.

Eagles and other island life

I heard my first Eagle this week. For those of you that have never heard one. They sound earthy and primeval. It's the sound of home. We have one that lives in the forest behind our house and circles over our meadow looking for something to eat.
This week I have been playing "Safari Jane" out in my garden. It's a trip! The grass is breast high. I go out with my trusty weed wacker and my clippers. I wack and clip until my muscles ache and my face is beet red. I won't tell you how long that takes...I'd be embarrassed.

More stuff about me....

24. Hard to do this when you've forgotten what the first 23 were.
25. I was 25 when I finally figured out that I had a "self". Until then I was looking at myself through my parents eyes. I was a late bloomer.
26. I like to bake. When going to potlucks I usually bake something.
27. I love to travel!!!! I have a dream of global schooling my girls.
28. I spend time at the travel websites for fun. I love to plan trips.
29. I like to weave. I own my loom. I haven't had an opportunity to weave in a long time.
30. I live in a dome home. Michael designed it and built it. It is small and we are planning to build another.
31. When I close my eyes I can feel a millions of other beings on the planet. Been that way since I was a kid.
32. I believe that there is a force greater than ourselves. It binds us all.
33. I love the ocean. It is the blood of our planet.
34. I cry at movies. I am emotional.
35. I have traveled a lot. When I was in high school my parents moved to Saudi Arabia. I went to a boarding school in England. I have been to many places...but never Paris. I find that strange.

My grumpy daughter is in from raking and I must read with her. I promised. Gotta go... Blessings...V

100 things about V

Well I'm waiting for Michael to get home from the dump. We have a recycling center that we call "The Take It Or Leave It" and we also call it "Neal's Mall". Neal is the guy that runs the dump. Michael is the guy who is a "Take It Or Leave It" junkie. Sometime I will have to tell you all about it.
But, until he returns (he's been gone a while) I will do some active self indulgence.

V's 100 List
1. I am 42 yrs. old.
2. I have two girls Artie, 15, and Xan, 9.
3. I live part of the year in Saratoga Springs, NY and part of the year on Lopez Island, WA.
4. Michael is my husband and he is an artist, ceramicist. We sell his work at Art Shows and thus we get to travel and live in two places.
5. It seems that we are always scrambling for money. I married for love not wealth.
6. I was born in MA and don't particularly like it there. Too puritan, too New England, too something that has always given me the willies.
7. I had a pretty crappy childhood.
8. I have a very difficult relationship with my Mom, then my Dad, then my 2 brothers.
9. I was raped by one of my brothers for years.
10. As a result I'm sexually uptight. It comes back in haunts me at odd times and in weird ways.
11. I'm always in need of therapy and never get there!!
12. We homeschool our girls. It works really well for us. I am an unschooler and pretty liberal in my thinking.
13. I became a Unitarian Universalist about 3 yrs. ago. I love it!!
14. Lopez is home and everytime I set foot on our property here I could just burst into tears of gratitude.
15. I have my degree in Theater Arts. An emphasis in performing.
16. I worked as an actress for many years. Did some commercials, a few movies, and lots of stage work.
17. I gave it up when I realized that acting was never really my dream...it was my Moms'.
18. I do a few acting gigs now and then but it takes up so much of my being that I am very selective!
19. I love cats!!! They are great entertainment.
20. I like to garden. Here on Lopez I have a big one and when we were living here full time we ate out of it year round.
21. I know lots more about vegetable gardening than I do flower gardening.
22. As a homeschool Mom, I figure that I won't have anytime to myself until I'm 50. It will be my Crone present to myself.
23. Our bumperstickers say: "Expect a Mackerel", "God is too big for one religion", "Pro Child/Pro Choice","If it's not fun why do it?"(I got that one at the Ben and Jerry's Factory) and "Celebrate Life". I think bumperstickers say a lot about a person.

He's home, gotta go and get the kids. Blessings...V

It's about time

I can't believe that it has taken me so long to figure out the whole comment thing. This is my test run....Is anybody out there?
I read all the stuff at the blogger website this morning and maybe I can even stick in some links and photos. Photos would be nice. Wouldn't they?
Both the kids went off for overnights last night. It's so very unusual for Michael and I to be alone. We made ourselves a nice dinner of local salmon, mashed potatoes and cabbage with gorganzola cheese. We watched "White Nights" a good movie from the eighties. Too bad I'm having some yeast and ulcer problems...otherwise the evening could have been very romantic indeed!!
I find myself just blabbering on so that I can get this up and see if anyone leaves any comments. I'm tingling with 21st century excitement. Blessings....V

round and round we go....

I remember that soon after our dome was built the girls would race around the downstairs. Round and round they would go. I love being home!!! Michael designed and built us a great sacred space. Right now a friend of ours is over having a glass of wine with Michael. They are talking about other artists on the island and basically catching up.
Michael has a piece of artwork up at the Community Center and tonight we went to an artists' reception. It was fun to chit chat with our friends. It was funny that the only people there were the artists. It's a good thing that artists have a lot to talk about with each other.
It rained all day yesterday and two of our sky lights leaked. I guess it's good that we know but yesterday I wished not to know. We had to move our bed and set up a pot to catch the slow drip. It brought me back to the days when we lived in our travel trailer while we were building the dome. I remember one very wet winter night when the trash bag that was covering a drip in the ceiling collasped on us while we were blissfully slumbering. It was cold, it was shocking, we were disgruntled, and it seems like such a long time ago!!
Blessings.....V

Speedy Little Demons

Xan and I boiled up some sugar water for the Hummingbird feeder that I found. She measured out the sugar and the water in a nice 1 to 4 ratio and set it on the stove to boil. She got to do the "clicker" to light the burner.
After the sugar/water cooled I put it in the feeder and set it out in its place outside our window. After about a 1/2 hour Xan notices that a Hummingbird is there doing its thing. I am sitting here at the computer doing my usual Ebay thing and listening them zipping about out there. They sound like bullets!! I say, "Don't stand near the Hummingbird feeder our you might end up with Hummingbirds sticking out of your skull". They are fast speedy little demons!!!
I am in my element...home.
Must go to do my daily read aloud with Xan.
Blessings....V

The Grass Is As High As An Elephants Eye...

We came home to an unmowed (is there such a word?) lawn. Thigh high to be more to the point. It's ok though. We couldn't find anyone to mow it and we gave up in April figuring that it's only grass and we can deal with it. Well, we are dealing with it.
For the first week home we decided that we needed down time and every day I took a nap. I needed some recovery from packing up our apartment and from Mom's birthday party. Now I feel recovered and am ready to face the idea of doing things here. Yesterday was yard cleaning day. We all spent the day weed wacking, pruning, raking and few minutes to jump into our new ponds. I sat outside with the girls and it was wonderful. I got some good Mommy juice watching them play in the water. We made some steps on one of the sides of the our ponds and they sat on the steps catching tadpoles and daring each other to jump in. Artie was the bravest and went for the first plunge. She jumped in and landed on the next level of steps. We had forgotten about those! She didn't hurt herself...was just surprised.
Last night we went over to the community center and watched a movie. It was "Fleeing By Night". A Chinese film with subtitles that Michael read to Xan. Very good movie. It seems that we have to travel 3000+ miles and take a ferry to an island to get some culture.
Another travel story...
At the beginning of our trip we stayed with our friends Ken and Cassie in Appleton, WI. Appleton seems to be about the same size as Saratoga Springs. It has a very hip downtown. We walked downtown on a Saturday and went to an Art Show. It was a show of 35 ceramicists from WI. How nice for Michael to get a chance to walk around and look at other peoples art!! Next to the show there was an Art Center and they were having a gallery show. It was all recycled art. It was "way fun"! I particularly liked the "cereal box woman" made out of cereal boxes. We saw lots of instruments that the kids could bang on. Max (Ken and Cassie's son) really liked the bang away on part. It was a great day!! Our time with Ken and Cassie was too brief. They have a daughter who is 7 months old and really loved Michael and I. She would make all sorts of smiles at us. Of course we couldn't pick her up. Xan and Artie could..but not the grown ups. Only Mommy. Not Daddy or Michael or Victoria. Ah well we'll be visiting them again....
Blessings.....V

Home is where the sheep are......

We arrive home (many adventure stories to come...) and there is a gate across our driveway. We undo it. We can't think of why it is there. It seems that our neighbor whom we had an agreement with to run his sheep in our meadow totally forgot the part about agreeing to fence off our yard! There was/is sheep poop all over our yard and driveway. The mistake was soon corrected and the sheep are happily grazing "over there" in the meadow and I am left with a nicely fertilized yard. Ahh, it's good to be home!!!

A few road adventures....
Last year we traveled to Lopez in June. It was quite warm and I had everyone pack accordingly. We hit two thunder and lightning storms. We saw some amazing lightning!!!! Very up close and personal. We also hit snow and sleet in Montana. We saw way too much of that up and personal. I am thankful for the heater in the car as we all only had our Tevas and no socks. I brought a light jacket and no long sleeve shirts. We were all ill prepared and luckily in good humor.
I will over this week relate some funny travel stories.
Story one...
It was late at night and Xan had fallen asleep in the back. She and Artie set up in the back with the cat carriers above there heads and behind them. We let the cats have free run of the car while we are driving and we keep a kitty litter box between the carriers and open it (it has folding lids) up a few times during the day so that the cats can....you know. Well, Xan is asleep and Godiva seems to need to do her business so I tell Artie to open up the litter box. Artie does and we discover that the box we chose is a little to deep for her to get her chubby self into. For some unknown human reason ( probably a well know reason to cats) Godiva stands on the outside of the box and starts scratching the kitty litter all over the place. It's flying. Artie and I are watching this and we are busting our guts. We are laughing uncontrollably and the litter is flying all over our sleeping cherub, Xan. What are women to do? Cats are funny creatures. I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath. Artie had to manage the brunt of the situation since she was the one in the back and had to hold the box because Godiva was moving it all over the place. Michael kept a firm control of the vehicle with these two hysterical ladies laughing their asses off. We were laughing too hard to tell him what was going on.
We got the box under control. Godiva finally got in and did her thing. We let Xan sleep. We told Michael all about it through our giggles. Off we went into the night with Xan slumbering under a layer of fresh scent kitty clay.
More later......Blessings....V