You say What You Need To Hear Most

On Monday morning M turns to me in bed and gives me all sorts of friendly advice about how not to stress out about leaving on Wednesday. "We don't have to leave on Wednesday. Nothing is set in stone. " Phrases of that nature. So, who is the one stressing? My poor husband is a bear. I remind myself that he is my bear. The chosen bear in my life!!
Ahhh, the party!!
*All went ok.
*My Mom was manageable.
*I didn't have the opportunity to talk to my brothers or their families too much.
*My Dad put a lot of work into this shindig and I made an effort to tell him that he put on a great party for my Mom.
*I got to see some long lost relatives and friends of the family. That was very nice!!!!
*My Mother-In-Law got a much more intimate peek into my family that I cared to have happen. We'll see how that filters into her "amateur psychologist's" mind. And how it will filter into her thinking that she knows me more intimately now. That should prove to be way more fun than I want to have.
*I made the birthday cake. We all (M,V,A, & X) presented them to her with sparklers in them. She never thanked any of us. Lord only knows if she liked them. There were four. Four Mocha Pecan Tortes. Very chocolately, very yummy...what was not to like?
*M wrote a poem for four voices that we performed. Mom liked that. We gave her a copy of it. It was about her and the theme, through line, was quilting (she's quite a quilter). It was full of us repeating the word "stitch" and full of the fabric of her life. My beloved Bear did good...real good! I chose good!!
We leave for Lopez sometime soon. We are all anxious and working hard to get our apartment ready for a Track Rental. I hope the gods bless us and get us some rentees.
Blessings...V

In A Tizzy

I am reminded of the expression "Don't get your panties in a twist". We are leaving next Wednesday to drive across the country and as usual I am not prepared. My panties are pretzels!

Today we leave for four days. We are heading down to MA for a 75th birthday party for my Mom. I am in no mood to play "happy family".

Good Things
*My husband and children are still talking to me. I've been pretty cranky this week.
*I have been working on my back splash in the bathroom. It looks earthy and organic...way cool!!!
*We went to a wonderful dinner with good friends last night.
*It's much easier packing up the apartment this year because I never unpacked last year.
*My tulips from Lopez (a wonderful X-mas gift) are starting to pop their wee heads out.
*My flowers that I planted last year survived the winter and are sprouting. For the life of me I can't remember what they are called.
*We are going to the "bare breasted women of Tahiti" exhibit at the Boston MFA tomorrow. Can you guess who the artist is?
*We are closer to getting to Lopez than we were last week, yesterday, a moment ago.....
*I had a wonderful snuggle with Ethel M this morning.

I won't even go into the stress or troubles that I am trudging through. They are as big to me right now as a mighty redwood and I am pushing them into the recesses of my being in hopes that they can be ignored. I am fragile and full of power a synergy known only to the borderline insane.
Blessings....V

websites

I thought that I got these websites added in but...not!!
Here they are: www.caffelena.com and www.jupitercircle.com.
Don't forget to read the blog below. Blessings....V

Performer X and Teenager A

What a week....X had a shining star moment and A has turned 15!!!
I have been sick with a cold, a chesty one, and I have gurgled my way through many an event this week.
Where to start...Yesterday, our admittedly self involved and most wondrous A turned 15.
Teenager A
Fifteen; one year away from a learners permit. Fifteen; three years away form eighteen. Fifteen; six years away from 21. Wow. I look at her and think that this young woman is the babe that suckled my breast. That bit it too! That this is the toddler who use to dance out in the yard with nothing on but her pink cowboy boots. That this is the little girl who divorced Curtis Dengler on the spot because he cut in front of her in Ian Finneran's birthday cake line. That this is the first grader who came home from school one day and asked never to go back. That this is "The Alternative Classroom" third grader who everyone came to for mediation. That this is the young girl homeschooler who really wasn't interested in much more than playing with Barbies. That this is the same pre-teen who finally was picking up a book and getting involved in it. That this is the same teenager who discovered she has a talent for art. That this is Artie. That this is my Artie. I was afraid that I would give birth to a girl and that we would be as estranged as my mother and myself. Oh, how wrong I was!! A is one of the best friends I have. She is as wondrous and beautiful as her namesake the Aurora Borealis. She is wise, and kind, and thoughtful, and loving, and talented. I am so glad that I gave birth to our girl, Artie. Afraid of what? There was nothing to fear...Artie was here.
We had a nice dinner with her last night. She had her usual dessert of Tri Color Mousse. She got some ear piercing thingies, a Borders Books gift certificate, a gift certificate for glass rods, and other stuff.... good booty. After our guests left we all sat on the couch and watched a movie. I held her hand and gloried in being next to this amazing human who lives in our care.

Performer X
X took up piano lessons last September. It goes well and she likes her teacher, Elizabeth Woodbury, very much. As you all know, we leave for Florida every winter. We left as usual this year. We come back and X resumes her lessons. Before the winter X had written a song. Well to make a long story short and to get to the more exciting details...Elizabeth arranged for X to perform her song at Caffe Lena here in Saratoga Springs.
Elizabeth calls me up a couple of weeks ago and says that X has been on her mind. X is going to miss the recital that would happen in June because we will be at our West Coast home. Elizabeth and X have a great relationship and Elizabeth has been thinking about X's song and how incredible it is. She wants to get X to perform at "Open Mike" at Caffe Lena. The Caffe Lena! Caffe Lena is the oldest Folk Coffee House in the U.S. My daughter X gets to play on the same stage as the likes of Pete Seeger, Arlo Guthrie and hundreds of other legends.
Our little Miss Xan (on piano) performed with Elizabeth (on drums), a guy from Jupiter Circle (on bass), and another guy who works at Caffe Lena (on the percussion eggs). She was introduced as one of Elizabeth's students and that she was soon off to the West Coast. After she was done, the host asked her if she would come back after her West Coast tour. It was great!!! X was great! The song she wrote is amazing!! Elizabeth is a generous and loving human! M shot a video and we bought X a Caffe Lena t-shirt for our little wonder!! X was so vibrant up there playing and singing her own song. Did I mention that she has the voice on an angel?! It was a great evening to be in the company of people being creative.
After all that X says she wants to write more songs. I'm glad to know that she survived her stage fright. May her developing spirit soar!!
Check out these websites: This is the website for the ensemble that Elizabeth started. She is a composer and amazing!!!
This is for Caffe Lena. Check it out and see what's going on there.
Blessings.....V

M's Humor Weekend

We were set up at the "Humor Project Conference" this weekend. M volunteers there every year. Last year we set up our booth and did quite well so this year we set up again. The Humor Project is one of M's passions. He is very generous to them and designs their bookstore every year. Every year he spends a lot of his time creating something magical for them. One year it was a huge papermaiche smile. One year it was these wire pedestal things. And this year it was giant plugs. He spends the weekend tending the booth and attending the workshops. This girls and I bring him food and booth sit and get to see a keynote speaker.
This year M, X, and I got to see David Hyde Pierce (he plays Dr. Niles Crane on Frasier) on Sat. night. He spoke for about an hour. He is very funny and seems to be a very dear person. David H.P. grew up here in Saratoga Springs and had many funny stories of elementary school. He also shared some personal stuff with us all. He was very human and personable and we had a great time!! Anyway, when he was done there was a 1/2 hour set aside for people to have their picture taken with him. The photo area was set up in the same room that the vendors and bookstore is in. M, X and I went back to our booth to open it up. The line for the photo opps was long, long, long!!! After a while X and I left (the poor kid has a cold and wasn't feeling to good). We left M to work and I took X home for bed.
Apparently, David H.P. had a plane to catch in Albany and needed to keep to his 1/2 hour schedule but pushed the envelope on his time so that they could get everyone in the line done. Toward the end someone told M he should go and get his picture taken. So on impulse he got into line with a new goblet that he made this week. It has a brand new saying on it that he just came up with. M gets to his turn with David H.P. and tells him that after his talk tonight he feels that he needs to give him (D) this goblet that he (M) made. It says on it "laughing anticipates your next adventure". David H.P. looks at it and reads it. Takes a moment. Looks at M and says, "This is some good booty." He thanked him of course.
Pretty Wow...huh? So David Hyde Pierce has flown out of NY state with a goblet that M made. It seems like it was a really sweet moment for them.
You see what I left out was that David H.P. talked a lot about death and humor. He shared his own personal experiences of losing his mother and then his father. And how at odd times in the the middle of such sadness there was some funny something that brought about healing. I think this really touched M because he too has lost a parent. Who knows why he gave it to him. Maybe it had to do with David H.P. talking about how the show "Frasier" was ending and how sad it was and what was to come next. Maybe is was everything he said.. Who cares why...it was a very tender thing to do.
Blessings.....V

Ball Jars

I like to drink out of Ball Jars. I don't know why. I just do. I am a Ball Jar purist. I don't like the ones that they sell with handles on them and are designed as drinking glasses. I like to drink out of the actually jar. M says that the rim on them is bothersome to his lips. You know, the swirl that the lid can screw round on to come on and off. I doesn't bother me...I just really like it. It's my comfort object...A Ball Jar full of water is a heavenly thing!!
I think that the first time I drank out of a Ball Jar was in a bar in Peterborough, NH. I'm not a drinker and have never been into the bar seen. But, for some reason I liked this place. I don't remember the name. I barely remember what it looked like on the inside. I don't remember what I drank in my Ball Jar drink. I do remember that I went there with Trey.
Trey was a high school buddy and we both ended up at the same college. I haven't talked to him in years. He was one of my first best friends. I told him my first real deep dark secret. And I loved him, not "attraction" love, but a real "dear to the heart" love. He was the first person in my life that really made me laugh and the first person that I didn't feel self conscious with.
The last time I talked to Trey (after having lost touch with him for 12 yrs. or so) I found out that he is one unhappy guy. It makes me melancholy. To be so incredible and not realize it. We soon lost touch again...he wasn't ready to have a friend.
I hope that life is better for him and that someday we'll cross paths again and be friends again.
I drink my water from my Ball Jar and it makes me feel better to know that I was really cherished. You just don't forget that kind of love. Maybe Trey drinks from his Ball Jar too.

A Mystery.....

A spent the afternoon with my mom-in-law on Monday afternoon. I found out yesterday that mom-in-law was telling A to be prepared to stay here in Saratoga because her mom (me) likes it here much better than Lopez and most likely we are going to end up living here a long time. I guess mom-in-law is telling this to A as she is driving here to Swing Class and as soon as she gets to the nearest corner to the building A tells mom-in-law it's close enough and she wants to get out. She wants to get out of the car because mom-in-law has no foot in reality here!!!! Who knows why, how, where she thinks these things up!!
I spent all last night looking at M and saying, "I know this is a lesson in futility...but how did she get this idea in her head?".
M says I really shouldn't go there.
Ah well, just needed to get that off my chest. Just for the record...I do not love it here. I like it...but don't love it.
And, yes, I do know why she's saying it. I feel bad that she wants us to stay so badly that she creates this story. We can't stay here forever when our hearts are on Lopez. It will be hard when the time comes.
Later....I will figure out the comments thing.....

Another Day In The Life Of......

Well Easter passed without much event. It was a relief to us all. We do not celebrate it and since we've living on the East Coast we get coerced into spending it with my Mom and we all end up miserable. With her over indulgence of candy and the wanting us to go to church it ends up being a stressful day. We did have a very nice dinner with our neighbors and M's Mom. It was full of the promise of summer foods to come. It was so nice and what we think Easter (the coming of Spring) is all about. The kids asked on Saturday if we were getting some Easter Candy. Of course, I can imagine them asking....but we have been on a celebratory roll this week. We started with Passover (twice), and had A's Birthday party, and a wonderful dinner with friends on Saturday night, and not to mention that we were making all the desserts for these affairs. Uh, uh said I!!! Don't you think we've had enough. So we will do what we always do...buy the candy after Easter when it is on sale. Someday some descendent of mine is going to wonder why they celebrate Holidays after they happen and some wise Mom is going to say, "Because your Great, Great Grandmother Victoria, God she was GREAT, married an Artist honey".

A's birthday party was fun. Sushi for dinner. We were rolling and cutting a long time. Then we got to do hair. The girls were a riot and we took lots of photos. A insisted on photos for her friends on the West Coast and some especially for her buddy Julian, who is a very dear friend in Oregon. A certainly won the "best hair" award. A few days before she dyed her hair dark brown with intention of adding some hot pink strips to it. Well, after she bleached the strips it looked so cool that she left it. The streaks came out a tawny orange brown. It looks so cool!! M's hair never took to the bleach so no polka dots this time. I have bluish purple hightlights. I like it!!! One girl got her tips bleached, one got red streaks (we think that she's going to be back for more!), one got red hightlights, and one got got two purple streaks at her face. Oh, I almost forgot X and one of her buddy got purple streaks and tips. It was alot of fun and let me tell you...it takes alot of time to do all those people. I was up to 3:30AM and then up at 9:00 to make the breakfast pastry. I think a great time was had by all. A has now announced that she wants an ear piercing device that we saw at the beauty supply store for her birthday. I say she just wants to be the most popular kid in Saratoga Springs. We'll see about that one. I'll let you all know how brave Mom and Dad are. I did mention that I'm married to an artist.

Everyone is eating breakfast. We are all getting and slower and slower at arriving on the planet in the morning. Gotta go...Blessings...V

Finishing up my quiz.

Today I figured out how to make letters bold and M helped with a few additions. Like I now have the correct time and stuff like that. And...I think that in a few days I will know how to let people comment. Thanks Mani!!

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

That we all think of everybody as fellow humans and make sure that everyone is ok.

Do you like to dance?

Yes.

George Bush:

Too scary, I don't want to go there.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

She is and her name is Artie.

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

Alexander, Xander for short.

Would you ever consider living abroad?

All the time. We come up with all sorts of ways to get there. The current is to get our apartment in Saratoga fixed up nice and then do a house swap. I think that Glastonberry, England is high up on our list of places to live. We want to travel
just about everywhere!!

Ah, the quiz is done. Today A is having a birthday party. For party fun the girls are going to dye their hair. We went out and bought pink, purple, blue, and red. I am now in the posession of a nice big tub of hair bleach. I think that I will get purple streaks. A is very excited about doing M's hair. She has come up with the idea of braiding his hair and then putting the bleach on whatever hair shows...then after you bleach it you put on a range of colors. After he unbraids his hair it will polka dotted. He is much braver than I. I will let you all know how it comes out.
A rented "Night of the Living Dead" for some fun watching. The kid has good taste...she likes the classics.
Blessings....V

Maybe someday I will figure out how to let people make comments about my blog and maybe I will figure out how to get some links set up. Maybe......
I got these from my friends blog. I do appreciate her so!!!



Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says.

...up to two days ahead of time, but postpone adding the bell pep.... "Still Life With Menu" by Mollie Katzen.

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?

X's Yamaha electric piano.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Law and Order. It was a repeat I went to bed.

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

M is cooking dinner in the kitchen. A is asking him all sorts of questions about his grandparents and what they were like. I hear part of him telling her that they were nothing like my parents. (Thank God!!!).

When did you last step outside?

This afternoon I drove X to her piano lesson. Then we went and borrowed a vcr from a friend for A's birthday party tomorrow. She is having an outdoor sleepover and wants to watch movies in the tent.

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?

www.utterchaos.blogspot.com.

What are you wearing?

Jeans, black shirt, and black slippers.

Did you dream last?

Most likely. I very rarely remember them.

When did you last laugh?

In the car today. X and I were listening to the Prairie Home Companion Joke show from 2001. How many dull people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

A golden wheat paint that I mixed myself with my friend Vince. I love it!! A shit load of ceramics...this is M's studio. And three paintings by an artist buddy who has a great sense of humor. M traded for them.

Seen anything weird lately?

Yeah. One our tenants brought her adult son over to meet us. Not once during the whole time he was here did I see his teeth. Even when he smiled his lips just sort of spread out not up. I thought it was weird.

What do you think of this quiz?

I'm doing it aren't I? I like the glimpse of someone that you get.

What is the last movie that you saw?

XMen 2. Watched it with the girls on our new DVD player. I can honestly say now that I don't think DVD's are so great!!

If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy first?

First...what would I buy first. I would want to buy airline tickets!! Probably it would have something to do with our house on Lopez.

Tell me something about you that I don't know?

I am such a blabber mouth anyone who knows me...knows about all there is to know. At the moment....I am done with living on the East Coast mostly because of my parents. They are very disrespectful to me and my family and basically just a pain in my psyche!!! I have an ulcer..Definitely because of them!!

It is "games night" and Mark and Terry are here. I'll finish up the quiz tomorrow. Blessings...V

Today I give you the recipe for that great Passover cake that hit the deck on Monday night.

Chocolate Orange Torte for Passover
I make this torte every year for Passover and we all love it!! It’s from a recipe book called “Cocolat”. It’s a bittersweet chocolate torte with lots of freshly grated orange zest, lots of ground almonds and some matzoh meal. This recipe can easily be doubled to fit a 10” round. Enjoy!!
Preparations…
1. Preheat the oven to 3750F
2. Line the bottom of 8 X 2” round cake pan with a circle of parchment paper.


Ingredients:

· 4 oz. Semisweet or bittersweet chocolate cut into pieces
· 4 oz. Butter at room temp.
· 2/3 C. sugar
· 1/8 t. almond extract
· Finely grated zest of one orange
· ¾ C. (3 oz.) ground blanched almonds
· ¼ C. matzoh meal
· Chocolate Honey Glaze

· ½ C. sliced toasted almonds (optional, to use to press in sides of cake after you have glazed it)

Process:

1. Melt chocolate. Either in a double boiler or in a microwave.
2. Beat butter, sugar, almond extract, and orange zest with an electric mixer until light and creamy. Add eggs, one by one, beating well after each addition. On low speed add chocolate, beating only until incorporated. Stir in almonds and matzoh meal until combined.
3. Turn batter into prepared pan. Bake for 25-30 min. until a toothpick plunged into the center of cake shows moist crumbs. The torte should be neither dry or runny in the center.
4. Allow torte to cool completely in pan on a rack. After you have unmolded your cake you can freeze it for later use or glaze it for dinner.
5. To glaze the cake I put it on a wire rack and put that over a sheet pan. I pour my glaze over the cake and whatever drips off lands onto the sheet pan. Remember that you never want your chocolate glaze to be used while it is still really hot. I let mine cool a bit so it is not so runny. If you use a glaze while it is too hot, it won’t stick to your cake.

... and the glaze....

Chocolate Honey Glaze
This is a very simple chocolate glaze to be used on cakes and tortes that are stored at room temp.


Ingredients:

· 6 oz. Bittersweet or semisweet chocolate cut up into pieces
· 4 oz. Sweet butter (1 stick) cut up into pieces
· 2-3 T. honey

Process:

1. Melt all the ingredients together in either a double boiler or a microwave. Do not overheat the glaze, there is no need to warm it above 120 degrees F.
2. Allow the glaze to cool a bit. When the glaze is at 90 – 92F. it is time to glaze your cake.
3. Gently pour the glaze over your cake. I like to have my cake set up on a wire rack over a sheet pan. Start in the center and in gentle circles work your way to the edge of the cake. To get the top to look uniform gently jiggle the rack, side-to-side, so that all the glaze on the top is even. If you are decorating the side of the cake with nuts or whatever don’t worry about how the glaze looks because it is just there for glue. If you are not decorating the side of your cake then pour glaze down the sides.
4. As you are working with your glaze you can scrape whatever you need off the sheet pan and reuse it. I like to work with a bent spatula to manipulate uncooperative glaze on the edges.

Blessings Y'All...V

I just got back from our first of two Seders. I just love this holiday. The ritual eating of food, the remembering of ancient events, the discussions of how not to repeat history, and the ritual eating of food. I made a chocolate orange torte to have for desert and had some left over so I brought it home. There I am standing in front of our door and someone has left us a gift in a plastic bag hung on our door knob. I lean in to look inside the bag and swoosh, the chocolate torte disengages from the plate and lands glaze side down on the floor. It was classic. And it was a damn good torte too!!! Thank you who ever you are that left us a well intentioned gift on our door!!
It was very cold today. I packed up all our winter clothes this week. I am standing upstairs in my mud room donning on a polartec vest and hefty sweater and my winter coat is keeping all the other winter coats warm and snuggy in a plastic bin in the basement (which is now a little more slightly flooded). M and X and I walked to the post office shivering and talked of our golden days that we spent in the sun just two weeks ago.
Last night M brought out the road atlas so that we can plan our trip to WA. We have friends that we want to visit on the way out. I want to stop in Butte, Montana. We stopped there last year and we all really liked it. It's an old mining town and it has a bit of the ol' ghost town feel to it. The last time we were there we found out that you can buy buildings there for about $200.00. Yes, it's a bit depressed. But, the buildings are old and brick and rather beautiful. M keeps telling me that we are going to stop there and get us our very own Butte building. We'll start an artists colony. Nope, no Butte building right now for us, but maybe someone out there wants to check it out. We like Butte, you might too.
I had a cup of tea at desert and now I'm wide awake. I don't do caffeine and I knew better but I was driving and thought it was a good idea at the time. I shall now retire and go read my Clive Cussler. Clive is good because I can read him when I'm half asleep and still understand what's going on. In my house we call books like that "mental popcorn". Sweet Dreams!!

Today I arrived at church just in time to open the front doors during the moment of silent reflection that happens after the sermon. YES!!! We forgot to turn our clocks ahead. We had a very nice time at coffee hour. Next week I think I might show up for the service.
I found out today that a house/store front building that is a block away from sold for $280,000.00 just this week. My word, we bought our three family house about 3-4 years ago and now its tripled in value. I feel the kahching - kahching of money rolling into my upturned palms. I am in a sweat of anticipation. I want to sell this house and move back to Lopez!! We decided last week that in 2006 we want to sell our East Coast home and move the brood back to Lopez where our hearts are. Something happened to us while we were at the Florida Renaissance Festival. I can't put my finger on it yet. Maybe it was hanging out with alot of alternative minded people that reminded us of our friends on Lopez. Whatever it was/is we find ourselves feeling detached here in Saratoga. Michael didn't even want to go to church this morning and I felt indiferent about it. I went because X wanted to go. We enjoy our UU church and M & I have great philosophical discussions about the sermons. Something is amiss if we don't even care about going. I, personally, am feeling stuck in a place I don't want to be. I am here waiting to leave. The kids like it here very much and have good buddies that they connect well with. M & I have some very good friends here and we have M's Mom (the whole reason why we are here). But I feel like the ghost of me is going through the motions and Goddess only knows where the other part of me is!!
Tomorrow is the beginning of my favorite holiday, Passover. We are going to two passover dinners. How fortunate to do it twice!! M just told me that the soup is on the stove so I can have my turn to make the chocolate orange torte for tomorrow.
Funds are low. Spirits are about average. Sense of humor is in full Spring. And my love for M is constant.

I find myself in the throws of some major procrastination. I tell myself that fooling around with this cyber journal is a good thing. I should write more, journaling is good, I am setting up a discipline, and I am giving my friends an opportunity to know what we are up to because I am terrible at letter writing. All of which are good and notable things in themselves. To me, they are just monoliths of avoidance. I am creative and artful in ways that even I don't understand.
We have just returned from 2 1/2 months living in a tent, mostly, and selling M's artwork at The Florida Renaissance Festival. Since we travel so much and live on an island I realize now that I thought my life was soooo alternative and fringe. Well I was wrong!!! I met people way more fringe than us!!!!! It was a good mind expanding experience to meet people who live on the road all year long and call some extraordinary vehicles home. Anything from the conventional RV to converted transit busses to carports that can taken apart and stored in vans. What a community, it was glorious!!
Ah, but here I am back living in our apartment in Saratoga Springs in a very "neighborhoody" neighborhood. I walked to the post office last week and was struck with how routine life is for most of the people I was passing on the road. It's strange to be back here and living inside and being surrounded by many other people living inside going to work every day and sending their children off to school five times a week. I feel like I'm a alien stuck in an ant farm. I harbor no ill feelings toward my fellow human. I just feel disoriented and wonder how I slipped out of the mainstream.
I am suppose to be packing up the apartment, prodding the children to do the same, cleaning out the cellar (which is slightly flooded), and creating back splashes for the bathroom and kitchen. I am suppose to wake up ready for the days challenges and what am I doing?! I am creating a blog. Just so that I can creatively procrastinate and not do all the labor that is mine and goes with my life on the road!! We leave in 5 weeks for our Western home on Lopez. As always there is too much to do before we reap the awards of being there!!!! Blessings....V

Well I have gray hair and at 42 I have become contemplative. As I see my peers rush to their hair dressers and to CVS for the latest quick fix in age reduction, I think. Why be ashamed to show the world that you have had life experiences? I know that my gray started as we (husband know as "M" and I) naively thought it would be fun and creative to build our own house. I think that I've gotten grayer every month that I've balanced the check book since. A few really white ones have popped out over the worry and stress I have experienced with my girls (they are "A" and "X"). And how about the white streams I have coming out of my temples..they are directly related to my not so great relationship with my mother.
I have buried a wonderful father-in-law, a superb feline friend, a handful of friends, and a loving canine. I have been to many blissful weddings, scores of fabulous parties, family camping trips, sat by dozens of bonfires with my marshmallows in hand, had lots of great orgasms, and have traveled alot..ALOT. I have had my share of really embarrassing moments and have been known to really stick my foot in my mouth to the tune of some great grey whoppers. Every adventure, every high, every low is an array of gray atop my head like an ethereal halo of honor. It says, "Hey, look at me. I've lived and am still living."
I wish there were more women out there with their own personal badges of gray. Besides if I did color my hair, I know that the day I stopped and saw my true color I'd probably die of the shock.